Teenager
Who’s Leading Whom?
by Perry Hall After WWII, a new family unit was created—the teenager. Before that, “teens” didn’t exist as a celebrated age. Before that, “teens” were young adults. Since then, the trauma of war-torn youth has led to the coddling of teens. That has led to a verse you might be very familiar with: Fathers, don’t…
Read MoreShould we send our son to a therapeutic boarding school?
Question: Dear Minister, I have two sons: A is 13, and B is 9. Both are adopted and are non-biological siblings. My husband and I have had both boys since they were infants. We go to church twice a week, pray and study the word together every day, the boys go to an excellent private…
Read MoreYou Never Know What’s Going to Stick
by Zeke Flores A while back, one of my daughters was going through a box of her papers that we had stored in our attic. She ran across a paper she had written and given to me in her teen years that listed 10 reasons why I should let her get her belly button pierced.…
Read MoreWhat’s Wrong with Today’s Youth?
by Bill Hall All along we hear questions raised as to what has gone wrong with today’s youth. Recently, a brother expressed his concern along this line and then asked, “What advice would you give young parents to help them avoid mistakes that we have made in our generation?” The first thing we would say…
Read MoreSetting Boundaries
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Ephesians 6:1-4 I. We live in a country that is founded on the ideas of freedom and liberty A. Yet we don’t live in society without any restraints. We have laws, rules, regulations, expectations B. It is the very laws that we have which gives us our freedom 1. How? One of my…
Read MoreI Wish Someone Had Told Me
https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/I-Wish-Someone-Had-Told-Me.mp3 by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Proverbs 5:7-14 I. I ran across an article by Chuck Lawless about “Ten Conversations I Wish Someone Had with Me as a Teenager.” A. Hindsight generally reveals that mistakes could have been avoided B. I constantly get told: “I wish someone had told me just how bad this could get” C. And…
Read MoreDo parents get sad when their children hit puberty?
Question: Do parents get sad when their kids hit puberty? I’ve seen a lot of parents get sad when their little boy hits puberty. Answer: The early years of a child’s life are rough on most parents. Caring for a baby takes a lot of time and energy. But soon the child is able to…
Read MoreHandling the Crafty
https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Handling-the-Crafty.mp3 by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Joshua 9:3-16 I. Some people don’t deal with others in a direct fashion A. Stating their goal would not allow them to reach their target because they know it would be rejected, so they manipulate others B. While both men and women engage in craftiness, it is often a complaint of…
Read MoreNot Too Young
Author Unknown Recent research has revealed what teenagers truly desire from the adults in their lives. The Search Institute study found that teens want parents and other older influencers to do the following: Look at us. Spend time talking with us. Listen. Be dependable. Show appreciation for what we do. Relax. Show that you’re interested.…
Read MoreThank you for sharing “Searching for My Friend”
Question: Just a note of thanks for sharing this post and the notes to your friend. I pray that he is still on the right path. There was much wisdom in your notes. I have a son who is headed down the same path that your friend was on. Your approach has given me hope,…
Read MoreThank you for explaining why coed sleepovers are a bad idea
Question: Thank you for the coed slumber party article. My son said that if I could give him biblical reasons, he wouldn’t go to a coed campout with him and two girls in the forest. In this current age, these kids innocently think they don’t see a difference between girls and boys and don’t understand…
Read MoreHow do I start being a good parent?
Question: Hello, I am a babe in Christ. I was just baptized last month. My life has changed very much since then, and I have no desire to go back to the way I was. I still have struggles, but I am trying to live a Christian life. A major problem that I have right…
Read MoreHow do I deal with my son declaring he is a homosexual?
Question: Good Morning I’m struggling. Not long ago, my son announced that he is gay. We are members of the Lord’s church and have been all my life, and he has been all his life. I have told him from day one that I do not support his decision and I cannot allow him to…
Read MoreShould we allow our son to get an earring?
Question: Dear brother Jeffrey, I hope you are doing well, and that everything is going well in your work and in the local church. Brother, I wanted to ask about this personal matter. I have a 15-year-old son who is not a Christian. He is generally a good boy and obedient to us like his…
Read MoreA Father’s Reply
by Dave Beckley Long ago, my husband wrote the following to one of our sons. To our many sons and daughters today, please read, for he longs the same for each of you. Joanne Beckley Dear son, Your letter was very revealing and open, a reflection of your honesty and confidence in us. We are…
Read MoreWhen do I start talking to my boys about nudity, puberty, growth, and sexual issues?
Question: Hello, I’m a father of three boys. First off, I’ll let you know some information about me. When I was a boy and an adolescent, my father never told me things about puberty, sex, or girls. He talked a little but never told me what they were or what to expect. He never showed…
Read MoreTeaching Children About Fornication
by Mark Roberts “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (I Corinthians 6:18). Perhaps no precept of scripture is as widely ignored as this one. Our society is absolutely obsessed with sex. Advertising, movies and television, printed material,…
Read MoreI recently discovered that my daughter is sexting with a boy
Question: I am a Christian. I just found out that my daughter, who is also a Christian and almost 19 years old, is sexting. I found very sexually explicit emails between her and a boy who is supposed to be a Christian as well. This happened a couple of years ago and the boy’s parents…
Read MoreI’m afraid my son is gay
Question: I sense my son is gay because he has never had a girlfriend. And I have caught him watching gay porn. I raised him in the church, where it is taught that that is a sin. How do I talk to him about his struggles and that his lifestyle is a sin? A sin…
Read MoreHow do I deal with the fact that my daughters were molested by a leading member of the church?
Question: Hi there, I have a complex issue that I am trying to sort through biblically and do right by my family, others, and the law. Two of my daughters have been sexually interfered with by a “leader” of the local church here. The first time was with my oldest daughter on a couple of…
Read MoreMy son won’t let anyone, including his doctor, see him naked
Question: Good morning. My son is just 15 and at 3.4 according to your Tanner calculator. I am in the military and am very concerned that he is very shy and modest almost like a girl. I haven’t seen him naked since he was maybe 6 or 7 because he hides himself very effectively. From…
Read MoreDo I let my daughter hang out with worldly people in hopes of leading them to God?
Question: I was addicted to alcohol and used drugs from the time I was 11 until about 25. I had a baby at 25 and began thinking strongly about how my parents’ choices and life of sin had shaped me into the person I had been. After feeling something in my life needed to change…
Read MoreOur son is getting into trouble and we don’t what else to do
Question: My 17-year-old son has some issues. My wife and I have raised him in the church since he was a baby. We thought we taught him well until he became 15. At 15, he seemed to forget everything that we taught him. He secretly became involved with a 23-year-old for several months who went…
Read MoreI saw my son masturbating. How do I talk to him about it?
Question: Hello, I’m a nearly 40-year-old father of a teenage boy. I walked in at night to check on him, and he was masturbating. I watched until he ejaculated. He wasn’t using porn. I quietly exited, and I’m positive he doesn’t know I saw him. I do not know what to say to him. When…
Read MoreMy 16-year-old is being disrespectful
Question: I have a 16-year-old son who has been very disrespectful in this household. It’s all because he asked if he could stay with a friend one night and I told him yes. But I called to check on him, and he had gone to a party that had alcohol. He wasn’t drinking, but when…
Read MoreMy daughter has taken a dislike to my boyfriend and her grades are dropping. What can I do?
Question: I have two questions concerning my 14-year-old daughter: Question 1: She had her yearly adolescent check-up. She and the doctor talked alone for a few minutes, and then I was asked to come back into the room. The doctor talked about the stress of school and “other things.” She suggested my daughter see a…
Read MoreI recently caught my son masturbating. What advice can I give him?
Question: Hello, I recently caught my son masturbating. I wasn’t aware that he had begun to do something like that. I talked with him about it, and he does feel it’s wrong to do it. He feels he is doing it too much and has difficulty resisting it. He has also looked at pornographic material…
Read MoreWhy Teenagers Take Risks
Source: “Teens more likely to embrace unknown,” The Omaha World-Herald, 3 October 2012 An interesting study finds that teenagers are more likely to take risks when they don’t know what the odds are, but if they know the odds are poor will avoid dangerous situations. Adults will do the opposite. They will avoid situations where…
Read MoreMy son recently underwent puberty but has suddenly stopped
Question: My son has recently undergone puberty but his growth has suddenly stopped. He has both facial and body acne, hair on his upper lip, and a consistent deep voice. He is of Asian descent. What stage do you think he is at, based on those few details? I’m too embarrassed to ask for more…
Read MoreOur 18-year-old step-daughter is into sex and alcohol. What do we do?
Question: Hello, I have a stepchild who was living with her mother’s side of the family until age 13 until we got full custody of her. She is now 18. She has been exposed to seeing her mother (my husband’s ex-wife) doing drugs and seeing her mother having sex with multiple guys at once. She…
Read MoreI’m concerned that my 15-year-old still doesn’t want to be baptized
Question: My husband and I both attended Christian colleges and are life-long members of the church of Christ. We have two children, ages 12 and 15, who we have faithfully taken to church since they were babies. They are now both very involved in the church youth group. I am concerned about my 15-year-old…
Read MoreYou Need Standards and Guidance to Reduce Risky Behavior
Source: “Research Finds Parallels Between Sexual Risk Avoidance Approach and Successful Public Health Campaigns to Prevent Teenage Drinking, Smoking, and Reckless Driving,” House Energy and Commerce Health Committee, 06 July 2012. Source: “A Better Approach to Teenage Pregnancy Prevention: Sexual Risk Avoidance,” U.S. House of Representative Committee on Energy and Commerce, July 2012. The Energy and Commerce Health…
Read MoreCan someone there talk to my son?
Question: I am a single mom with a 14-year-old son who is starting to become curious about sex. I caught him masturbating, which was awkward for both of us, to say the least. I decided this was a perfect opportunity to have “the talk” with him, but he doesn’t want to talk with mom about…
Read MoreOur fourteen-year-old runs our house and is ruining our life. What do we do?
Question: My wife and I have a daughter age 14. We love her very much, but we made many mistakes. From the time she turned three, she began having hours long tantrums and screaming fits. Time outs were futile, so we ended up giving in to all her demands. Now we have an unhappy home.…
Read MoreShould I let my son be in a play that contains a short waltz?
Question: Hello, I am a mom with a particular problem: my son wants to be a part of a play and in it, he would be waltzing for a few seconds. He is a 17-year-old with an aim to preach. He has been raised in the Scriptures all of his life, and we are so…
Read MoreWhat Keeps a Man Sexually Pure?
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton I ran across several interesting studies the other day dealing with the factors that lead teenage boys to engage in sex prior to marriage. One study is titled “The Transition of Adolescent Males to First Sexual Intercourse: Anticipated or Delayed?” The reason for the title is that the surveyed youths were divided into…
Read MoreMy son told me of his sins just before a car accident that looks like it will be fatal. What can I do for him?
Question: I am a father and my youngest, who just turned 16, has been in a car accident. He is in a coma, and the doctors tell me there is a very real probability he won’t come out. He is showing little brain activity and his organs have begun to shut down. The morning the…
Read MoreCounting the Cost: Using Biblical Principles to Guide our Children in Spouse Finding
by Sally Ann Perz Choosing a spouse is the second biggest decision in one’s life—this is surpassed only by choosing to follow Christ. We must guide our children in this effort just as we lead them to Jesus. We often leave this important choice to them—somehow they are ‘on their own’ when it comes to…
Read MoreWhat Boys, Girls, and Their Parents Need To Know
by Wendi Capehart The following is adapted from an old post the good blogger at Wit-nit wrote. He wished to illustrate just how heady and disorienting a brew lust can be, how dangerous in the hands of the immature, but he is not a believer and he wrote an R-rated post. He allowed me to…
Read MoreHow do I stop my 14-year-old son from sneaking out at night to see a girl?
Question: My 14-year-old son has just started sneaking out of our house in the middle of the night. Two times in the last month he left our house at 2 am and walked over one mile to his girlfriend’s house. My son is very sneaky, and he will wait until I’m asleep and then leave…
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