Question:

Good day sir,

I read through the advice you gave a lady on your site and I was enlightened with your answers. Please sir, I also need your help in this area. I am a guy staying with my girlfriend. The problem is that we have set rules to guide us for the period I intend to stay with her but sometimes we override the rules and find ourselves misbehaving. But there has been no pants down or penetration.

So I am asking for your advice.

Thanks.

Answer:

"Do not enter the path of the wicked and do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it; turn away from it and pass on" (Proverbs 4:14-15).

Sin is difficult enough to resist without placing yourself in greater temptation. I understand that it is your intention just to be roommates and not get involved in sex, but you are already seeing your resolve eroding. But such is the nature of sin -- it is progressive. It lures you in a small step at a time. Each passing moment you tell yourself that nothing bad has happened so far, so you are convinced that you will be able to keep it that way.

However, there is a problem that you are ignoring is that both you and your girlfriend have a built-in desire for sex. That desire is going to build because that is how God made men and women. "Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned?" (Proverbs 6:27). No matter how much you declare your love for a burning lump of coal, it will still burn you because that is its nature. Your love doesn't change what it is. "Or can a man walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched?" (Proverbs 6:28). You may never intend on walking on a lump of hot coal. You might even apologize profusely when you do, but it will still burn you because that is its nature. You put a young man and a young woman together and sex is going to become an issue. Your intentions and your love for each other won't change it because it is simply how it works.

Anyone outside your situation will look at what you two are doing and know that even if you aren't having sex, you will soon be. Most will assume that you are there for the sex -- and is that a proper impression that Christians should give to those around them?

Find other living arrangements or get married.

 

Response:

Good morning sir,

Thank you, sir. I really appreciate your candid advice, sir.
Print Friendly, PDF & Email