Parenting
Children and the Bible
by Doy Moyer Somewhere along the line, it seems to me, there has been an assumption that all the stories in the Bible have to be something for children. If some account is disturbing, then there is a problem with the Bible — as if the Bible was written just for the sake of kids.…
Read MoreI recently discovered that my daughter is sexting with a boy
Question: I am a Christian. I just found out that my daughter, who is also a Christian and almost 19 years old, is sexting. I found very sexually explicit emails between her and a boy who is supposed to be a Christian as well. This happened a couple of years ago and the boy’s parents…
Read MoreI’m afraid my son is gay
Question: I sense my son is gay because he has never had a girlfriend. And I have caught him watching gay porn. I raised him in the church, where it is taught that that is a sin. How do I talk to him about his struggles and that his lifestyle is a sin? A sin…
Read MoreMy daughter is planning to marry someone we do not think is suitable
Question: Jeff, I stumbled onto Do you need her parent’s blessing before marrying? I was looking for information to present to my children living at home why I can’t attend a marriage between my daughter and a young man whom she feels is “perfect.” My husband did not give his blessing for her to date or court…
Read MoreI had an affair and became pregnant. My husband forgives and wants to keep the child, but I am so ashamed that I don’t think I can love her.
Question: I had an affair and became pregnant. I came clean with my husband, and he forgives me and wants to raise the baby as his own, which is wonderful. It’s me that’s having a terrible time with forgiving myself and accepting this child. I feel no bond whatsoever, and it’s all because of the…
Read MoreHow do I deal with the fact that my daughters were molested by a leading member of the church?
Question: Hi there, I have a complex issue that I am trying to sort through biblically and do right by my family, others, and the law. Two of my daughters have been sexually interfered with by a “leader” of the local church here. The first time was with my oldest daughter on a couple of…
Read MoreHow do we treat our daughter who says she is now a homosexual?
Question: How are we to treat a homosexual person? She is our daughter. This has never happened in our families before. We are so hurt by this. She was raised in a Christian home. We want her to come to her senses and live the way God wants her to live. We want all our…
Read MoreMy son won’t let anyone, including his doctor, see him naked
Question: Good morning. My son is just 15 and at 3.4 according to your Tanner calculator. I am in the military and am very concerned that he is very shy and modest almost like a girl. I haven’t seen him naked since he was maybe 6 or 7 because he hides himself very effectively. From…
Read MoreDo I let my daughter hang out with worldly people in hopes of leading them to God?
Question: I was addicted to alcohol and used drugs from the time I was 11 until about 25. I had a baby at 25 and began thinking strongly about how my parents’ choices and life of sin had shaped me into the person I had been. After feeling something in my life needed to change…
Read MoreHow do I get a child to stop swearing?
Question: Hello Jeffrey, I was wondering if you could give me a few strategies for deterring swearing in my eight-year-old. It has already happened twice in the last few days, and I’ve explained to him why it’s not appropriate to say those things. So I am hoping that did the trick, but just in case,…
Read MoreMy seven-year-old, who is tall and skinny, thinks she is too fat. What do I do?
Question: Thank you for such a helpful website! I’ve read the article on Five to Nine-Year-Olds this morning. I’m concerned about my seven-year-old girl who attends public school. She’s naturally a tall, thin girl but she asked me if I think she’s fat and lately has been obsessed about this — showing me her stomach and asking…
Read MoreI feel bad because I told the principal that a boy hit my boy and they expelled that boy
Question: Hi, I feel so bad about myself because my boy’s friend hit my boy. I spoke with the principal and I told him that not every school has the program that he needs. My son’s friend has problems but the school doesn’t help. I felt like I did bad, saying what I said. I…
Read MoreOur son is getting into trouble and we don’t what else to do
Question: My 17-year-old son has some issues. My wife and I have raised him in the church since he was a baby. We thought we taught him well until he became 15. At 15, he seemed to forget everything that we taught him. He secretly became involved with a 23-year-old for several months who went…
Read MoreHow do I teach my boy self-control and to resist temptation?
Question: Hello, here is my question: I have a young son. We take him to church and talk about the Bible with him. I don’t let him watch television, except for videos like Barney, Sesame Street, and the like. As he gets older, I know he will be influenced by his friends, media that is…
Read MoreI saw my son masturbating. How do I talk to him about it?
Question: Hello, I’m a nearly 40-year-old father of a teenage boy. I walked in at night to check on him, and he was masturbating. I watched until he ejaculated. He wasn’t using porn. I quietly exited, and I’m positive he doesn’t know I saw him. I do not know what to say to him. When…
Read MoreSince my divorce, my children no longer believe in God. What can I do?
Question: Hello, Several years ago my wife became involved in a charismatic group and my marriage fell apart. As I dealt with this situation over the years, I see the effects on my children from what has happened. They were preteens and teenagers when the divorce happened. Throughout all of that time, I have made…
Read MoreGentle Cords and Bands of Love
Gentle Cords and Bands of Love – Part 1Gentle Cords and Bands of Love – Part 2 by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Hosea 11 I. Most people’s view of love is very limited. A. “God is Love” they declare; therefore, any sin that I may be involved in doesn’t matter because “God is Love.” 1. There can’t…
Read MoreHow do we keep a two-year-old with autism quiet during services?
Question: Okay, so I have been wondering about this for a while. Our beautiful son, who is two years old, has autism. What we have been doing during worship for a year now is keeping him up late on Saturday night so he will sleep in the “nursing room” most of the morning at worship,…
Read MoreIs it a good idea for both the husband and wife to work full-time when there is a small child?
Question: Hi brother Jeffrey, I have a full-time job and my wife would like to work outside the home and let our 3-year old child be taken care of by a maid. But I read Titus 2:5 that women are to be keepers at home. Are we sinning if we proceed with our plan that…
Read MoreHow do you handle a 10-year-old making critical remarks?
Question: Hello, Your website is great and very helpful. My question is about my niece, who is 10 years old. She has had a sudden change in her personality in school, Sunday school, and at home. She has become critical of everybody and is commenting on everything, so as to make people around her laugh.…
Read MoreHow can I stop worrying about my two children who are doing hard drugs?
Question: How can I stop worrying about my two adult kids doing hard drugs every day? I know a lot of kids died from this. We are all in the church of Christ and Christians. Answer: I’m sorry to hear that your children have fallen away and are caught up in the trap of drugs.…
Read MoreOver Diagnosis of ADHD Indicated
Source: “An ‘astronomical’ rise in ADHD diagnosis, The New York Times, published in Omaha World-Herald, 02 April 2013. I don’t know why this is so surprising. Common sense has indicated for decades that children were being drugged for no other reason than to keep classrooms calm and to allow parents to control their children with little effort.…
Read MoreMy 16-year-old is being disrespectful
Question: I have a 16-year-old son who has been very disrespectful in this household. It’s all because he asked if he could stay with a friend one night and I told him yes. But I called to check on him, and he had gone to a party that had alcohol. He wasn’t drinking, but when…
Read MoreMy daughter has taken a dislike to my boyfriend and her grades are dropping. What can I do?
Question: I have two questions concerning my 14-year-old daughter: Question 1: She had her yearly adolescent check-up. She and the doctor talked alone for a few minutes, and then I was asked to come back into the room. The doctor talked about the stress of school and “other things.” She suggested my daughter see a…
Read MoreParenting Grade-School Children — Responsibility Training
https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/ParentingGradeSchoolChildrenResponsibilityTraining.mp3 by Jeffrey W Hamilton Text: Lamentations 3:25-36 I. How quickly our children grow A. The years between five and nine seem to quickly fly by B. The children enter school. C. Relationships with people outside family develops 1. Teachers 2. Friends – usually strongly attached to same sex D. Sibling rivalry common especially with those of the opposite sex E. Growth…
Read MoreIf a child is taught properly, he won’t depart from it later, right?
Question: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Given the fact that this is the word of God, He knows all, I think we overlook how and in what a child should be well trained. We try to bring…
Read MoreWhat do we do about the children’s father who doesn’t care for them well when he has them?
Question: I need your help. My fiancé and I are members of the church of Christ. We are dealing with a test right now. My fiancé’s ex-husband isn’t a Christian. The kids live with her, but they get to see him on the weekends. He likes to pawn them off on other people when he…
Read MoreParenting Pre-School Children – Obedience Training
https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/ParentingPreschoolersObedienceTraining.mp3 by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Ephesians 6:1-4 I. Simply because limits are placed, it doesn’t mean that they are always followed A. Children of this age have a fair ability to communicate B. A source of endless “Why?” 1. It is no longer enough to know something exists, they want a reason. 2. Not so much as to…
Read MoreParenting Two and Three-Year-Olds: Limits Tested
https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/ParentingTwoAndThreeYearOldsLimits.mp3 by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Hebrews 12:3-14 I. What parent hasn’t been warned about the terrible twos and threes A. The cause of trouble 1. No longer completely dependent on parents 2. Children can efficiently move about — run, climb, manipulate objects — but they haven’t learned safety. 3. They can now express their desires, but they haven’t…
Read MoreParenting Toddlers: Love and Security
https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/ParentingToddlersLoveAndSecurity.mp3 by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Proverbs 3:13-26 I. Toddlers A. A wonderful age. 1. Everything is a new and fresh delight 2. Curious about everything a. Often into things forbidden, not because of maliciousness b. But curiosity with what is behind this, with what happens with that? B. Beginnings of communications 1. Relief! You now have clues as to the child’s…
Read MoreParenting Newborns: Learning Patience
https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/ParentingNewbornsLearningPatience.mp3 by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: I Peter 5:6-11 I. Many changes comes to a family when a child is born A. Preparation is made for the coming years B. With a newborn, it is the parents, not the child who have much to learn C. We could speak of love, devotion, but the lesson needed most is…
Read MoreI recently caught my son masturbating. What advice can I give him?
Question: Hello, I recently caught my son masturbating. I wasn’t aware that he had begun to do something like that. I talked with him about it, and he does feel it’s wrong to do it. He feels he is doing it too much and has difficulty resisting it. He has also looked at pornographic material…
Read MoreWhy Teenagers Take Risks
Source: “Teens more likely to embrace unknown,” The Omaha World-Herald, 3 October 2012 An interesting study finds that teenagers are more likely to take risks when they don’t know what the odds are, but if they know the odds are poor will avoid dangerous situations. Adults will do the opposite. They will avoid situations where…
Read MoreMy son recently underwent puberty but has suddenly stopped
Question: My son has recently undergone puberty but his growth has suddenly stopped. He has both facial and body acne, hair on his upper lip, and a consistent deep voice. He is of Asian descent. What stage do you think he is at, based on those few details? I’m too embarrassed to ask for more…
Read MoreHow do I get my daughter to obey the first time?
Question: I am having an issue with my eight-year-old. I can ask, or tell, her to clean her room, do her homework, take a shower, or anything for that matter and it takes me being right on top of her and hounding her to do it, and when it does finally get done (if it…
Read MoreOur 18-year-old step-daughter is into sex and alcohol. What do we do?
Question: Hello, I have a stepchild who was living with her mother’s side of the family until age 13 until we got full custody of her. She is now 18. She has been exposed to seeing her mother (my husband’s ex-wife) doing drugs and seeing her mother having sex with multiple guys at once. She…
Read MoreI’m concerned that my 15-year-old still doesn’t want to be baptized
Question: My husband and I both attended Christian colleges and are life-long members of the church of Christ. We have two children, ages 12 and 15, who we have faithfully taken to church since they were babies. They are now both very involved in the church youth group. I am concerned about my 15-year-old…
Read MoreYou Need Standards and Guidance to Reduce Risky Behavior
Source: “Research Finds Parallels Between Sexual Risk Avoidance Approach and Successful Public Health Campaigns to Prevent Teenage Drinking, Smoking, and Reckless Driving,” House Energy and Commerce Health Committee, 06 July 2012. Source: “A Better Approach to Teenage Pregnancy Prevention: Sexual Risk Avoidance,” U.S. House of Representative Committee on Energy and Commerce, July 2012. The Energy and Commerce Health…
Read MoreDoesn’t telling children to obey their parents enable abusers?
Question: I completely disagree that you would teach obeying parents to children or people at your church. Honor does not mean “obey” and if a child or adult is being abused by their parent, they should not obey. You may want to rephrase your messages on your website unless you are enabling abusers within your congregation. Answer: See: Do…
Read MoreThe father of my daughter has a thing for young girls. Did I make the right decision to keep him away from my daughter?
Question: Hello, I was recently in a relationship with a woman who is married. We never had sex, or at least what I consider to be sex. All we did was masturbate together. Have I committed adultery? I have another question as well: I have a daughter. I am 17 but the father is a…
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