What do we do about the children’s father who doesn’t care for them well when he has them?
Question:
I need your help.
My fiancé and I are members of the church of Christ. We are dealing with a test right now. My fiancé's ex-husband isn’t a Christian. The kids live with her, but they get to see him on the weekends. He likes to pawn them off on other people when he is supposed to be watching them. He brings all kinds of women around the children. My fiancé is really depressed because she doesn’t want her children around people they don’t know, let alone picking up bad habits. She’s fearful that they might do something bad to her children. Every little thing bothers her. For example, their dad forgot the kid’s jackets and didn’t bother to wrap them up when it was freezing outside after the kids were just getting over a cold. He doesn’t like it when she asks him if he could pay more attention to things like that. He resents her a lot since she divorced him for cheating on her. He is very sarcastic when she asks him to do stuff for the kids. It’s like dealing with a child. He doesn’t handle things like an adult. We try to deal with the constant issues like the Bible directs us. I told her that she has to learn to trust God and realize that He will keep the kids safe and work the situation out if we obey the word of God and let Him handle everything. We pray for the kids every weekend before they go with their dad. I know the Bible talks about how our salvation covers our children. Can you give us some advice pertaining to how God watches over our loved ones on our behalf and how important it is to trust God?
Thank You.
Answer:
What the mother should do is document each of his lapses in taking care of the children. Then, when the evidence is sufficient, she can request that a judge grant her sole custody of the children since her ex-husband is unable to adequately care for the children.
The Bible says that a child's salvation is independent of his parents. "The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself" (Ezekiel 18:20). Children are saved because they are innocent of sin. They have not grown enough to have the knowledge of good and evil. "Moreover your little ones and your children, who you say will be victims, who today have no knowledge of good and evil, they shall go in there; to them I will give it, and they shall possess it" (Deuteronomy 1:39).
Salvation from sin does not mean the person is protected from evil. The wicked remain in the world and sometimes Christians and children are victims of that evil. For example, we read of Christians being wrongly thrown into prison (Revelation 2:10).
When your lives are right before God, it is appropriate to ask for help from the Lord. We have to trust that ultimately the best for God's children will come out in the end. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). Yet, there may be rough points on the road to that goal. "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?" (Romans 8:35). None of these hardships can come between us and God if we don't let them.
