Posts Tagged ‘raising children’
Our 18-year-old step-daughter is into sex and alcohol. What do we do?
Question: Hello, I have a stepchild who was living with her mother’s side of the family until age 13 until we got full custody of her. She is now 18. She has been exposed to seeing her mother (my husband’s ex-wife) doing drugs and seeing her mother having sex with multiple guys at once. She…
Read MoreI’m concerned that my 15-year-old still doesn’t want to be baptized
Question: My husband and I both attended Christian colleges and are life-long members of the church of Christ. We have two children, ages 12 and 15, who we have faithfully taken to church since they were babies. They are now both very involved in the church youth group. I am concerned about my 15-year-old…
Read MoreYou Need Standards and Guidance to Reduce Risky Behavior
Source: “Research Finds Parallels Between Sexual Risk Avoidance Approach and Successful Public Health Campaigns to Prevent Teenage Drinking, Smoking, and Reckless Driving,” House Energy and Commerce Health Committee, 06 July 2012. Source: “A Better Approach to Teenage Pregnancy Prevention: Sexual Risk Avoidance,” U.S. House of Representative Committee on Energy and Commerce, July 2012. The Energy and Commerce Health…
Read MoreDoesn’t telling children to obey their parents enable abusers?
Question: I completely disagree that you would teach obeying parents to children or people at your church. Honor does not mean “obey” and if a child or adult is being abused by their parent, they should not obey. You may want to rephrase your messages on your website unless you are enabling abusers within your congregation. Answer: See: Do…
Read MoreThe father of my daughter has a thing for young girls. Did I make the right decision to keep him away from my daughter?
Question: Hello, I was recently in a relationship with a woman who is married. We never had sex, or at least what I consider to be sex. All we did was masturbate together. Have I committed adultery? I have another question as well: I have a daughter. I am 17 but the father is a…
Read MoreDo I tell my children the truth, that their dad and I had sex before marriage?
Question: My husband and I are both Christians. However, we had sex before marriage (only with each other). I have been wondering what to tell my daughters if they ask me if we had sex before marriage. I am afraid if I tell them the truth, then they will think “well, mama and daddy did…
Read MoreI want to compliment you on your answers on spanking
Question: Sir, I wanted to compliment you on your answers on spanking. I am not a believer in any faith, but I have my own feeling about morality and social beliefs. I keep hearing about “all these religious people who beat their kids.” Well, I was spanked as a boy, and I spanked my daughter…
Read MoreDoes a mother have a role in the development of her son?
Question: I was wondering if a mother has a role in the sexual development of her son like the father. Answer: What the Bible indicates is that mothers are important to moral standards that a child grows up to accept. “Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness,…
Read MoreEstablishing Good Habits
https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/EstablishingGoodHabits.mp3 by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: II Peter 1:2-12 I. We spend a lot of time and money on education A. We learn fundamental skills and search for information that makes us stand out in the job market B. We teach our children, even when they whine and moan about school work, so that they are prepared…
Read MoreParents
https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/2012Spring4Parents.mp3 by Robert Speer The Home
Read MoreShould we require our sons to wear lederhosen year-round?
Question: Should we still require our sons to wear short leather shorts year-round? We are from Bavaria in the south of Germany near the Alps. In the past, it was very normal that boys wore the traditional short leather shorts with woolen knee socks. We followed this tradition not to let the boys wear any…
Read MoreBoys Do Better When Raised by a Traditional Family
Source: Graeme Paton, “Boys raised by traditional families ‘do better at school’,” The Telegraph, 3 January 2012 Source: Marianne Bertrand and Jessica Pan, “The Trouble with Boys: Social Influences and the Gender Gap in Disruptive Behavior,” National Bureau of Economic Research, No.17541, October 2011 A study has found that the structure of a boy’s family has a significant impact…
Read MoreCan someone there talk to my son?
Question: I am a single mom with a 14-year-old son who is starting to become curious about sex. I caught him masturbating, which was awkward for both of us, to say the least. I decided this was a perfect opportunity to have “the talk” with him, but he doesn’t want to talk with mom about…
Read MoreCan I spank my 10-month-old?
Question: Can I spank my 10-month-old? Answer: Discipline starts as soon as a child starts to reach for things he should not touch. A firm but calm “No” followed by a flick on the back of the hand is usually enough to discourage a child. The key is consistency. You need to have your child…
Read MoreOur fourteen-year-old runs our house and is ruining our life. What do we do?
Question: My wife and I have a daughter age 14. We love her very much, but we made many mistakes. From the time she turned three, she began having hours long tantrums and screaming fits. Time outs were futile, so we ended up giving in to all her demands. Now we have an unhappy home.…
Read MoreShould I let my son be in a play that contains a short waltz?
Question: Hello, I am a mom with a particular problem: my son wants to be a part of a play and in it, he would be waltzing for a few seconds. He is a 17-year-old with an aim to preach. He has been raised in the Scriptures all of his life, and we are so…
Read MoreAre cartoons dangerous?
Question: Now I have a question concerning cartoons. I know the eye is a window into the soul and you should only do what is just, what is pure, and what is worthy; I know that. My question is if watching cartoons such as Dragonball Z or Pokemon really a sin? There are people who…
Read MoreHow do I explain spontaneous erections and masturbation to my stepson?
Question: During some research, I found on your site, which was named “Growing up in the Lord: A Study for Teenage Boys.” My stepson is beginning a new stage in life, puberty, and he has been getting spontaneous erections. Now, I realize that this can happen at any time and also any place. He’s been…
Read MoreHow do I keep from giving in to my five-year-old?
Question: I have a five-year-old, soon to be six. Her whole life I have pretty much gave in to her, and I see that this has only hurt our relationship. She is a very good kid but all too often throws a fit to get her way. My biggest problem is I show my anger.…
Read MoreWhat Keeps a Man Sexually Pure?
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton I ran across several interesting studies the other day dealing with the factors that lead teenage boys to engage in sex prior to marriage. One study is titled “The Transition of Adolescent Males to First Sexual Intercourse: Anticipated or Delayed?” The reason for the title is that the surveyed youths were divided into…
Read MoreThe Difference Parents Can Make
https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/DifferenceParentsCanMake.mp3 by PJ Anderson
Read MoreMy son told me of his sins just before a car accident that looks like it will be fatal. What can I do for him?
Question: I am a father and my youngest, who just turned 16, has been in a car accident. He is in a coma, and the doctors tell me there is a very real probability he won’t come out. He is showing little brain activity and his organs have begun to shut down. The morning the…
Read MoreWhat is the blueness of a wound?
Question: In Proverbs 20:30, it reads, “The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so [do] stripes the inward parts of the belly.” What does blueness mean? Answer: This is the older way of say “bruise.” We still keep the memory of it when we say a person was beaten black and blue. Bruises look ugly and…
Read MoreHow do I deal with a misbehaving boy who is being mean to my son?
Question: I am having a hard time lately with the way my preteen son is treated by his long time friend at church. One week the friend will be his buddy, the next week he will purposely exclude him and make an issue over leaving him out of a conversation by saying something like “I…
Read MoreHow can you live with yourself?
Question: I came across your site on accident, and to be honest, I am absolutely appalled. I am currently a third-year student, working towards my B.A. in Social Work, and I am astounded at your ignorance. I work with abused children every day, and to see you condoning behavior that destroys a child makes me…
Read MoreAm I spoiling my youngest children?
Question: I am nearly sixty and a widower. My wife gave birth early to a set of twins, but she didn’t survive the delivery. I was left with children ranging from 10 years of age to sickly premeies. The twins survived and will be 13 soon. They are intelligent; spoiled brats to be honest! I…
Read MoreHow does a parent prepare himself for the need to punish?
Question: I have read many of the answers you have given about spanking and while I disagree or am uncomfortable with using anything other than a hand for it, I have seen the positive effects of spanking being part of several punishment options for parents with my friends and their children. I now have my…
Read MoreDo I have to live near my ex-wife for my son’s sake?
Question: My wife had an affair and would not come back to me. We got a divorce. We have a child together. I am not a people-person in general, and all I want is to be by myself. I don’t want anyone around me or even calling me. I just want to be left alone,…
Read MoreEmphasizing the Physical
Text: Matthew 12:1-14 I. Schools have been placed in tough positions in the recent years A. They are told to keep religion out of schools. Almost every direct form of discipline has been forbidden to them. 1. The natural result is the steady decline in the moral standards of their students. 2. In response the community demands the…
Read MoreHow do I stop my 14-year-old son from sneaking out at night to see a girl?
Question: My 14-year-old son has just started sneaking out of our house in the middle of the night. Two times in the last month he left our house at 2 am and walked over one mile to his girlfriend’s house. My son is very sneaky, and he will wait until I’m asleep and then leave…
Read MoreThoughts on Parenting
Adapted from a study by Ralph Walker via The Exhorter, Bulletin for the Henderson Blvd. church of Christ in Tampa, FL June 2009. Parenting has never been easy. But ask yourself this question. Do you really think your parents had as tough a time rearing you as you have with your own children? Maybe my parents…
Read MoreHow do you handle a rebellious 17-year-old who plans to move out and marry his girlfriend?
Question: I have a rebellious 17-year-old son living at home. Recently he received a speeding ticket. For punishment, he is grounded. He will turn 18 shortly and is threatening to move out. He also wants to marry his girlfriend of several months. I have tried everything to help him serve the Lord and do what…
Read MoreLike Arrows
by Steve Higginbotham via Bulletin Briefs, Vol. 12, No. 4, April 2009. In Psalms 127:4, the inspired text has a fascinating comparison. Here it is written, “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are children of one’s youth.” From this simple simile, several significant and sobering truths shine forth. Like arrows, children need…
Read MoreMy thirteen-year-old daughter isn’t listening to me like she used to do. What should be my next step?
Question: Hello. I am a single mother (I divorced 3 years ago, unfortunately). I have a daughter who is 13. I had a question regarding parenting: In the past, my ex-husband and I had a more lenient parenting style. We taught our daughter all the values of the Bible and we had rules and everything,…
Read MoreWhat can I do about my teenage son’s obsession with diapers and his hiding food in his closet?
Question: I have a question regarding my teenage son’s obsession with diapers. I have found out he has been on inappropriate web sites about diapers. This has been going on for about three years that we know of. The school found he was on a diaper site, and in fifth grade, we found a diaper…
Read MoreHow can I prove to my stepson that branding himself is not a good idea?
Question: My stepson wants to ‘brand’ his skin. Why-o-why? I ask, but anyway, I told him per God (Lev. 19:28) that it is forbidden. But when I read it the words “for the dead” makes it seem it’s okay as long as it isn’t for mourning a dead loved one. I don’t want him to…
Read MoreHow can you teach parents about spanking when my own parents abused me as a child?
Question: I recently came across this article on your website, about spanking young children as a form of punishment: Two and Three-Year-Olds: Raising Godly Children in a Wicked World. I was absolutely appalled by it. Thanks to articles like yours, many children in “God-fearing” homes are severely physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually abused when their parents…
Read MoreMy fifteen-year-old is staying out to all hours of the night. What do I do?
Question: The reason I type this question is that I have a 15-year-old son. He has been acting up over the last 2 to 3 months. He has always been a well-behaved lad. But over the last few months, he has been getting in with the wrong crowd at his high school. His grades are…
Read MoreWhen Your Child Leaves God
by Jim Lee Many of you parents who will read this, know by experience the horrific impact this circumstance can have on you. In the past, I have often sympathized and grieved with other brothers and sisters who have gone through the heart-wrenching experience of seeing a child of theirs turn their back on God,…
Read MoreMy sixteen-year-old is becoming violent and I don’t know what to do
Question: I have a sixteen-year-old son that has had trouble in school specifically with grades over the past couple of years. His mother and I were divorced when he was nine but still communicate on a regular basis. Lately, he has become more physical while with her. He has been punching and kicking things for…
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