Do I spank my child for telling me off?

Question: Just recently my child swore at me. Do I spank him? Answer: That your child should be punished for being disrespectful is obvious. Whether you choose to use spanking as the means is up to you. But leaving him unpunished will just encourage further disobedience in the future. “Because the sentence against an evil…

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Should a child be warned about bad adults?

Question: Should parents explain to children that there are adults out there who may have bad reasons for wanting to spank them (even though the adults may tell the child it’s punishment for something bad he or she did)? Is so, what’s the best way to address the subject so that they’ll be aware and sufficiently…

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Should families with small children sit in the back pews?

Question: Recently a congregation I am familiar with had an article concerning those who have small children. The preacher stated in the article that it would be best if those that have small children sit on the back pews due to children sometimes being noisy and having to be removed from the auditorium. In fact,…

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Rearing a Second Family

by Jim Sasser In our local paper last Sunday and Tuesday there were different articles and statistics concerning children that are being basically reared by their grandparents. This means that they are rearing a second family. I am fortunate enough to have 20 wonderful grandchildren. If an emergency should arise, even though my dear wife…

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May Christians make use of denominationally sponsored preschools?

Question: In our area, we have many preschools and pre-kindergartens that are located in the buildings of different denominations. Some are government-funded and some are just private schools. These schools are like any other in that they are preparing the children for kindergarten. The only Bible teachings are just Bible stories being read and, of…

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Should I spank my boys for breaking a window?

Question: I have two twin boys, both aged 15. My wife and I both agree that the right way to parent is to spank when necessary with the rod. Recently they have been getting into a lot of trouble together, and yesterday they broke a window (whilst playing ball inside — forbidden in the house…

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His Parents Were Too Strict

by Boyd Sellers Have you ever heard that statement? You’ll see some scraggly kid who cares about nothing and nobody, who has long ago left the Lord (though he may have been faithfully “going to church”), and who has literally broken his parents’ hearts. You ask a friend, “What happened to him?” And he answers,…

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How do you handle nosy neighbors’ questions about spanking?

Question: I have greatly enjoyed all the information and insights that you share on this page. My husband and I are raising three sons. We use spanking as one of our disciplinary tools with the boys, especially for the 3 Ds – deliberate disobedience, disrespect, and dishonesty. Recently one of my sons was in some…

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Family Time Together Is Essential

by W. Frank Walton in Biblical Insights, Vol. 5, No. 8, August 2005 Time together is the bonding mortar that binds family members together before God in love Giving Thanks Psalm 107 “Hear, my son, and accept My sayings and the years of your life will be many. I have directed you in the way of…

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Should I go ahead and spank my son?

Question: How are you doing? I wrote to you about three years ago about our two sons. Well, now the oldest is 16 and just received his license. Our youngest son is 11. We had implemented spanking and following God’s word on the matter. After the first couple of years of talking and seeking your…

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Would Jesus spank a child?

Question: Do you honestly believe that Jesus would spank a child? Children are precious, wonderful human beings, and it is our duty to raise them lovingly. Reading through your question and answer sections concerning child-rearing and spanking, I was motivated to write to you. Your answers are usually wise and sometimes give sufficient answers to…

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Can I correspond with you regarding parenting issues?

Question: I had stumbled across your web site and just wanted to say how impressed I am with the site. It is very nice to see a site that follows the biblical principles and yet handles many of the tough contemporary issues that we are facing today. My hat’s off to you. I admire your…

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Our son started doing poorly in school

Question: I have a serious problem with my oldest son who is 17. My wife and I have raised him in church and he attends a Christian school. This past semester, he led us to believe he was doing all right in school. I received his report card and he has two failing grades. My…

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I think I’m being too controlling

Question: My being too controlling on the kids is generally directed toward my eldest. He is a great child: very respectful, wins awards for citizenship, and all the teachers adore him and praise him. My problem is I snap at him for anything. Instead of being able to let it roll off, I have to…

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How do I punish a child who is now bigger than me?

Question: I have been struggling with the issue of discipline with our older two children. Traditionally, in our family, when a child reaches age twelve it is generally assumed that they are too old to be spanked and other punishments, such as grounding, are used. Our son is sixteen and beginning to show tremendous disrespect.…

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How do I appropriately discipline my sons?

Question: First, let me say that I’m glad I found your site and I appreciate your parenting advice. I am a widower with two teenage sons – 17 going on 18 and 14 going on 15. I’ve to come to the point where I need to make some decisions about discipline in our household and…

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When should a teenager start buying his own toiletries?

Question: When should a teenager start buying his own toiletries? Answer: When a teenager has cosmetics, soaps, shampoos, shaving cream, etc. that he wants of a specific brand and desires to use exclusively, then it is time to start purchasing them on his own. For example, if he uses the same shampoo that most of…

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I have a teenager who would sleep in bed all day if I let him

Question: I have a sixteen-year-old boy who would just about spend all day in bed if I let him. He claims he needs twelve to fifteen hours of sleep each day, but I think something else is going on. Any advice? Answer: During a child’s growth spurt, their bodies do need more sleep, but typically…

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Why has my preteen daughter started growing armpit hair?

Question: Why has my pre-teen daughter started growing armpit hair? She’s 10! Answer: Auxiliary hair, such as armpit hair, can show up in a typical girl anywhere from 10 to 16 years of age. The average time for developing auxiliary hair is 11. So your daughter is within the normal range. Question: But a hedge?…

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My eight-year-old is having erections and he says they hurt

Question: My son just turned 8 and is having erections. He tells me it hurts and burns. I told him to put a cold wet cloth on it so it will go down. My husband tells me it is normal, but he seems so young and it seems to hurt. Is this normal and any…

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Can a ten-year-old have pubic hair?

Question: Can a ten-year-old have pubic hair? Answer: Yes, if they started puberty early. Girls can start puberty as early as eight, and boys can start puberty as early as nine. For further details, see either: “What is Happening to Me?” in Growing Up in the Lord: A Study for Teenage Boys “What is Happening to…

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What should be the punishment for breaking a window accidentally?

Question: I have two twin boys, both aged 15. My wife and I both agree that the right way to parent is to spank when necessary with the rod. Recently they have been getting into a lot of trouble together, and yesterday they broke a window (whilst playing ball inside — forbidden in the house…

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My daughter is moody and depressed

Question: I am in desperate need of information to help my teenage daughter. She is struggling with self-esteem issues and the like — all of your normal teenage troubles. Now she is showing some signs of depression. She is 13. I have just spent the last two hours talking with her, and I thought it…

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My 11-year-old son is becoming overly dramatic and moody

Question: I am emailing you because you always have great advice for so many situations. I am having a hard time with my 11-year-old son. I am beginning to contemplate sending him to public school. Last year was the worst year we have had. I am fearing this year is going to be just as…

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Our nine-year-old is seeking boys’ attention by letting her underwear show

Question: We are a dresses-only family. My daughter is (deliberately?) not careful when running and playing and her underwear is showing. She has lost some of her treasured outfits. We raise her to dress very modestly. Last time she was on the swings during a church picnic seeking the boys’ attention. Other parents noticed. I’m…

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Things are improving in our home, but it is going so slowly!

Question: Thank you! Our home is slowly changing from a battle zone to a loving home. We still struggle, basically, since our 9-year-old acts like a 3 to 5-year-old, then I think she should have 3 to 5-year-old freedoms and choices. These will be earned back as she learns self-control and respect. I’m really needing…

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Should spankings only be done on the bottom?

Question: We have three boys 8,10 and 12. Of late they have become very defiant. We have read your web site and decided to spank. While being spanked they kick their legs and refuse to stay still. Should we swat them on the back of the legs to stop this, or is the bottom the…

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My son continues to backtalk us and punches his younger brother

Question: I just wanted to say thanks for contending for the faith, in relation to the person who wrote you against the Bible. I need further help with my son, who is 14. My wife and I have set the punishment for disobedience for both our sons. In addition to moving along if there are…

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