Parenting
What Do You Mean By Chasten?
by Gary Colley Jesus dictated these words to the apostle John for the church in Laodicea: “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten” (Revelation 3:19). After this Bible reference appeared on a sign in the front of a church building, a phone call was received from a somewhat irate woman inquiring as to…
Read MoreUnwanted Children
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton It seems strange, but I’ve started writing this article numerous times. Each time I’ve tossed it because I found myself unable to express exactly what was going through my mind. Many years ago I realized that our country contains a lot of unwanted children. The circumstances which lead to the situation…
Read MoreTo Be a Parent
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton I ran across an article recently that makes a point that every parent should consider. Too many parents are abdicating their responsibility to raise their children, especially when they reach their teenage years. “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and…
Read MoreHow do you handle a manipulative girl?
Question: I think girls to be just as aggressive as boys but in a different way. Does God allow mean behaviors such as being manipulative and subversive to get what one wants? Please tell me, how do you turn around a catty, snippy or snooty child? Answer: Oh, I agree; aggression can be demonstrated in…
Read MoreThat You May Teach Your Children
by Dene Ward Someone recently asked me what I thought a kindergarten-aged child should know about the Bible. All I can tell you is from my own experience. I believe they should know about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit—and that all of those beings love him no matter what. They should know every major…
Read MoreTeach Your Child the Fear of the Lord
by Forrest D. Moyer, 1989 When Paul had listed all the sins of the Gentiles and of the Jews and was summing up his argument as to why all need the gospel, he told us why there is so much sin in the world in these succinct words: “There is no fear of God before…
Read MoreReady to Fly?
by Steve Klein It is spring, and the birds around the Klein plantation have been busy building nests, laying eggs, and rearing young. We even have a nest full of baby birds in the wreath that hangs on our front door. But sadly, not all baby birds will make it to adulthood. This past week,…
Read MorePunishment Doesn’t Help
by Mark Roberts Journalist Betsy Flagler writes the syndicated “Parent to Parent” column that asks readers to write in with parenting problems and then tries to get expert help for those troubles. A mother in California recently wrote in that her first-grader has been pushing and hitting, has been kicked out of the library, and…
Read MoreWhat do I do with a 20-year-old who continues to lie?
Question: My 20-year-old daughter is a liar. Her pattern of lying has been consistently punished. She knows that she will get caught and punished. From a young age, she has been told that this is unacceptable behavior and the sin nature. She feels it is best to run the risk of getting caught. Her punishments…
Read MoreHow do you handle a child with ADD or ADHD?
Question: A Christian friend has a child that has been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. I keep this child once a week and I have several questions for those of you who are familiar with ADD or ADHD. The mother doesn’t want to give me much information because she feels I already have prejudiced views…
Read MoreHow do I tell my son about puberty?
Question: How do I tell my son about puberty? Answer: First, as your child grows, look for teachable moments. These are times when your child asks you questions that can be used to discuss important matters without making it seem like a major production. For example, your little boy might tell you “I’m glad my…
Read MoreAre bare-bottom spankings necessary?
Question: I’m glad I came across your website and read so many things from other dads of older boys. I’m a single dad of a 13-year-old boy. I’ve been needing to spank him for his improper attitude, but I have been very afraid to. Mostly because I’m uptight about male nudity, but I realize that…
Read MoreHow do I deal with my daughters stealing?
Question: I need some help solving a problem that I have with my daughters. Any advice or suggestions would be welcomed. I am writing in simple Spanish in hopes that you will not have difficulties in understanding it. If you do have problems, I will write in broken English. I believe that in Spanish or…
Read MoreHow can you spank when the child refuses to submit to a spanking?
Question: In relation to using the rod with our sons who are 14 and 10, we started to use a switch and made changes to the way we spanked about a year ago after reading the information on your website. We talked with the boys and we all decided to use spanking in certain acts…
Read MoreMy nine-year-old son doesn’t want to sleep in his own bedroom
Question: My nine-year-old son doesn’t want to sleep in his own bedroom. Is this good for his self-esteem? Answer: Self-esteem is just a nicer way to discuss pride (see Self-Esteem for more information). A Christian parent should not be concerned with developing or maintaining a child’s pride. The question should be, is it good for…
Read MoreHow do I deal with a sassy daughter?
Question: I need some advice on how to handle a sassy daughter. Time outs don’t work (even long ones!) and she is too old to spank. She is a very sensitive child with a sharp tongue and quick temper, constantly testing the boundaries. My husband and I are having a hard time figuring out how…
Read MoreHow do I deal with a rebellious attitude in a nine-year-old?
Question: When asking my nine-year-old daughter to do various chores she always obeys, but sometimes with a “humph,” a little puff of air which blows her hair up, sometimes with eye-rolling, and on rare occasions with stomping. I wonder if this is rebellion biblically? How do I get happy obedience? I find myself putting up…
Read MoreMy fifteen-year-old has become violent and domineering
Question: My oldest boy is 15 years old. Recently he has become violent and domineering. All the conversations that we have had with him haven’t helped much. He continues to pretend that now he is 15 years old he has the right to be free and to behave as he pleases. When we threaten punishment,…
Read MoreHow can I help someone who attempted suicide?
Question: I have a problem that I have never had to deal with before and pray that I will not experience anything like it again. One of our member’s granddaughter attempted suicide, by an overdose of prescription medication, last night. She is only fifteen years old, a very sweet young girl, but one that is…
Read MoreWhy does my son lie about his homework?
Question: Why does my son lie about his homework? Answer: People commit sins because they determine that momentary pleasure exceeds the consequences. The Bible mentions: “By faith Moses, when he became of age, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy…
Read MoreWhat do you suggest is a proper bedtime for preteens and teenagers?
Question: Thank you for a great site. I have one question. I have three children: two girls (ages 15 and 9) and a boy (age 12). One of my daughters asked permission to sleepover at one of her girlfriend’s home. I contacted the girlfriend’s mother and informed her about my daughter’s bedtime. She was very…
Read MoreMy son has become defiant and repeats the same sins
Question: I have a question in relation to child training. My son is 14 and I have to occasionally give him a spanking. However, he has been getting in trouble with the same sin. He continues to defy his mom. I read your articles on the website in regards to using the rod. I usually…
Read MoreHow do I prepare my nine-year-old daughter for puberty?
Question: I have a young 9-year-old girl and I’m trying to learn more about how to handle her upcoming puberty. It’s going to be hard for her to learn how to handle her young sexual desires. I have no idea what it’s like for girls. I’ll have to lean on my wife quite a bit.…
Read MoreDo boys get into trouble more because they are not taught to communicate?
Question: It’s good to know there are men like yourself in the world. It’s unfortunate that not enough men use old fashioned values for raising their sons. And it’s made worse when fathers do not support each other. I have two boys, 13 and 15. Good kids but rowdy as lots of boys are. My…
Read MoreShould kids swim with the opposite sex?
Question: I want to ask why mixed swimming wasn’t discussed in your article, “Proper Attire”? To me, wearing any bathing suit is as close to being naked as you can get. There is nothing left to anyone’s imagination. Even if a person is clothed from head to toe, going to a public swimming pool or…
Read MoreI can’t get my daughter to drink enough liquids
Question: I am having trouble with my daughter not drinking enough fluids. She gets really constipated and we all suffer for it. She may be in physical pain, but it messes with our bath and bedtimes. She was on the toilet for 45 minutes last night. She also makes us late for church, school, etc.…
Read MoreMy seven-year-old complains every time he has to do something
Question: I am once again in need of advice from those of you that have been at this longer than I. I am having a problem with my 7-year-old son. He is completing his chores and his schoolwork, but I am troubled by his attitude. I feel like I have to push him through his…
Read MoreMy child is constantly angry
Question: My 6 (almost 7) year old daughter is constantly angry. Anytime we tell her, “no,” or she doesn’t get her way, she gets this “angry face” and stomps around and pouts, or runs to her room to have a fit. I don’t give in to her when she behaves this way, so I figured…
Read MoreHow do you handle an overactive child without drugs?
Question: I am a tired mother with a very overactive 6-year-old, and though I do not want to rely on drugs to calm him, I’m forced to consider it, if this is indeed a problem that might be out of his hands and ours. It is a situation which I must deal with personally, and…
Read MoreMy daughter lies but eventually tells the truth under pressure
Question: If a child lies about something but eventually tells the truth under pressure, should she be punished for not telling the truth in the first place, or will that just encourage her to persist in the lie the next time? It seems to me we should be teaching them that the right thing to…
Read MoreMy child has become fearful of our new house
Question: I love your web site! Please advise: I have a 5-year-old son who has two older sisters. They have all been watching the Disney Channel’s Halloween specials. I just found out how scary they are, at least to a 5-year-old! To top things off, we just moved from 800 sq ft to a 3,000…
Read MoreWhat do you do with a whining 5-year-old who doesn’t like to take a bath?
Question: What do you do with a whining 5-year-old who doesn’t like to take a bath? Answer: Children learn to do things that let them do the things they want to do. The simple answer is that you’re the parent and he is the child. Don’t let the whining change or delay what needs to…
Read MoreHow do I stop my 8-year-old from wetting his bed?
Question: How do I stop my 8-year-old from wetting his bed? Answer: In most cases you will not be able to stop the problem; you will only be able to minimize the number of events. For reasons still not fully understood, some children — mostly boys — holding urine overnight. Speculations range from difficulty in…
Read MoreMy 8-year-old says he wants to drown himself. What do I do?
Question: I have an 8-year-old with behavioral issues. Several times he has said he wants to drown himself. What do I do? Answer: Assuming that the statements are not hyperbole, such as indicating embarrassment by saying “I wish I were dead,” then you have a problem on your hand that cannot be ignored. It is…
Read MoreHow should I handle a child that badgers me all the time?
Question: How should I handle a child that badgers me all the time? I found an article and wanted to know what you think. The article said, When a child resorts to badgering, the goal is to wear the parent down in order to change the no answer to a yes answer. It’s amazing how…
Read MoreHow do you present an attractive meal for a five-year-old child?
Question: How do you present an attractive meal for a five-year-old child? Answer: My first thought was why would a parent want to cater to the whims of a child? Is it for a special occasion? Or is the child ill and not eating well? Or are you as the adult trying to win points…
Read MoreDid I do the right thing by spanking my child for pushing me?
Question: I have a question. My youngest son is 4 years old. Yesterday he pushed me and said some bad words. I was upset and I asked him to apologize, but he didn’t. Today his misbehavior returned. He did the same thing. I took him to his room, but he yelled, so I decided to spank him. Did…
Read MoreCan too many toys hamper a child’s play?
Question: Can too many toys hamper a child’s play? Answer: You might be surprised to learn that overindulging in “things”, such as toys, can lead to boredom. See the article “Boredom” for more details.
Read MoreCan diapers cause sterility later in life?
Question: I have a friend who is from Russia. I believe she gets a lot of her information from her relatives there. Her son will be 3 in March. She has not bothered to potty train him at all, but he doesn’t wear diapers, just his normal underpants with jeans or shorts, depending on the…
Read MoreHow do you handle difficulties in getting a toddler to brush her teeth?
Question: How do you handle difficulties in getting a toddler to brush her teeth? Answer: I asked several women in the church and the following is a composite of their responses. Most small children go through a stage where they don’t want to brush their teeth. Most of the time is just another form of…
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