Parenting
How much sleep do teenagers need? I can’t seem to get mine to wake up in the morning
Question: I have heard varying studies on the amount of sleep that kids, and even adults, need to function in the day. My two remaining children are not morning people unless there is something they really want to do! I really think they may need more sleep. In contemplating how to make this year go…
Read MoreI think I’m being too controlling
Question: My being too controlling on the kids is generally directed toward my eldest. He is a great child: very respectful, wins awards for citizenship, and all the teachers adore him and praise him. My problem is I snap at him for anything. Instead of being able to let it roll off, I have to…
Read MoreWhat do we do about a son who failed his college classes and lied to hide the fact?
Question: I am writing for advice on my son who is 18. He went away to college which my wife and I help pay for, in addition to a scholarship he obtained at the Christian college. He finished up this semester but failed two classes. He has a chance to earn the credits back if…
Read MoreHow do I punish a child who is now bigger than me?
Question: I have been struggling with the issue of discipline with our older two children. Traditionally, in our family, when a child reaches age twelve it is generally assumed that they are too old to be spanked and other punishments, such as grounding, are used. Our son is sixteen and beginning to show tremendous disrespect.…
Read MoreHow do I appropriately discipline my sons?
Question: First, let me say that I’m glad I found your site and I appreciate your parenting advice. I am a widower with two teenage sons – 17 going on 18 and 14 going on 15. I’ve to come to the point where I need to make some decisions about discipline in our household and…
Read MoreWhen should a teenager start buying his own toiletries?
Question: When should a teenager start buying his own toiletries? Answer: When a teenager has cosmetics, soaps, shampoos, shaving cream, etc. that he wants of a specific brand and desires to use exclusively, then it is time to start purchasing them on his own. For example, if he uses the same shampoo that most of…
Read MoreI have a teenager who would sleep in bed all day if I let him
Question: I have a sixteen-year-old boy who would just about spend all day in bed if I let him. He claims he needs twelve to fifteen hours of sleep each day, but I think something else is going on. Any advice? Answer: During a child’s growth spurt, their bodies do need more sleep, but typically…
Read MoreOne of my son’s testicles is longer than the other. Should I be concerned?
Question: One of my son’s testicles is longer than the other. Should I be concerned? Answer: You didn’t mention your son’s age, but I will assume he is still an infant. Generally, there is no concern if there is some variation in size. Few of us are perfectly symmetrical. However, if there is a large…
Read MoreWhy has my preteen daughter started growing armpit hair?
Question: Why has my pre-teen daughter started growing armpit hair? She’s 10! Answer: Auxiliary hair, such as armpit hair, can show up in a typical girl anywhere from 10 to 16 years of age. The average time for developing auxiliary hair is 11. So your daughter is within the normal range. Question: But a hedge?…
Read MoreOur son recently started getting erections when he is spanked. What should we do?
Question: Our oldest son is 14 and we have always spanked him. However, the last few times he has been spanked he has developed erections. How should this be handled? Answer: When a boy gains the ability to have an erection, he has no control over when they happen. Since erections are physically caused by…
Read MoreI caught my son looking at pictures of nude women and stimulating himself
Question: I am a Christian father from Germany. My wife and I try to raise our boys in a Christian and biblical way. I am a member of a small church in Germany. Unfortunately, we don’t have homeschooling in our country, so the liberal elements from outside sometimes come to my home to verify the…
Read MoreMy eight-year-old is having erections and he says they hurt
Question: My son just turned 8 and is having erections. He tells me it hurts and burns. I told him to put a cold wet cloth on it so it will go down. My husband tells me it is normal, but he seems so young and it seems to hurt. Is this normal and any…
Read MoreCan a boy have erections at any age?
Question: Can a boy get an erection at any age? Can they get an erection from the time they are born, even though there is no sperm production? Answer: Boys experience erections even before they are born. They start as early as 16 weeks into pregnancy. These erections are not like those experienced by adult…
Read MoreCan a ten-year-old have pubic hair?
Question: Can a ten-year-old have pubic hair? Answer: Yes, if they started puberty early. Girls can start puberty as early as eight and boys can start puberty as early as nine. For further details, see either: “What is Happening to Me?” in Growing Up in the Lord: A Study for Teenage Boys “What is Happening to…
Read MoreWhen is a child old enough to explain concepts like rape that appear in a story?
Question: I have a 10-year-old son who is being homeschooled. He is in a Medieval, Reformation, and Renaissance unit and will be reading a version of The Canterbury Tales that has been translated into modern English by Barbara Cohen. In this book, specifically in “The Wife of Bath’s Tale” there is a knight who rapes…
Read MoreWhat should be the punishment for breaking a window accidentally?
Question: I have two twin boys, both aged 15. My wife and I both agree that the right way to parent is to spank when necessary with the rod. Recently they have been getting into a lot of trouble together, and yesterday they broke a window (whilst playing ball inside — forbidden in the house…
Read MoreMy daughter is moody and depressed
Question: I am in desperate need of information to help my teenage daughter. She is struggling with self-esteem issues and the like — all of your normal teenage troubles. Now she is showing some signs of depression. She is 13. I have just spent the last two hours talking with her, and I thought it…
Read MoreShould we tell our children not to mention to other people that they get spanked?
Question: I have greatly enjoyed all the information and insights that you share on this page. My husband and I are raising three sons. We use spanking as one of our disciplinary tools with the boys, especially for the 3 Ds – deliberate disobedience, disrespect, and dishonesty. Recently one of my sons was in some…
Read MoreMy 11-year-old son is becoming overly dramatic and moody
Question: I am emailing you because you always have great advice for so many situations. I am having a hard time with my 11-year-old son. I am beginning to contemplate sending him to public school. Last year was the worst year we have had. I am fearing this year is going to be just as…
Read MoreOur nine-year-old is seeking boys’ attention by letting her underwear show
Question: We are a dresses-only family. My daughter is (deliberately?) not careful when running and playing and her underwear is showing. She has lost some of her treasured outfits. We raise her to dress very modestly. Last time she was on the swings during a church picnic seeking the boys’ attention. Other parents noticed. I’m…
Read MoreThings are improving in our home, but it is going so slowly!
Question: Thank you! Our home is slowly changing from a battle zone to a loving home. We still struggle, basically, since our 9-year-old acts like a 3 to 5-year-old, then I think she should have 3 to 5-year-old freedoms and choices. These will be earned back as she learns self-control and respect. I’m really needing…
Read MoreShould I force my 14-year-old son to work even if he doesn’t feel comfortable?
Question: Should I force my 14-year-old son to work even if he doesn’t feel comfortable? Answer: Oh, the poor thing! It is so hard to be motivated when you don’t feel like working, isn’t it? Why don’t you set him a great example: when the alarm clock rings tomorrow morning, instead of dragging yourself out…
Read MoreShould spankings only be done on the bottom?
Question: We have three boys 8,10 and 12. Of late they have become very defiant. We have read your web site and decided to spank. While being spanked they kick their legs and refuse to stay still. Should we swat them on the back of the legs to stop this, or is the bottom the…
Read MoreMy son continues to backtalk us and punches his younger brother
Question: I just wanted to say thanks for contending for the faith, in relation to the person who wrote you against the Bible. I need further help with my son, who is 14. My wife and I have set the punishment for disobedience for both our sons. In addition to moving along if there are…
Read MoreI discovered one of my stepsons is looking at pornography
Question: I recently discovered that at least one of my stepsons had downloaded pornography on their computer, which is in their shared bedroom. The fourteen-year-old seems to be the guilty culprit, but he won’t own up. The twelve-year-old says it wasn’t him, and I believe him. The law says I’m within my right to beat…
Read MoreMy fifteen-year-old lies so she can do what she wants
Question: My 15-year-old lies to me. I believe she does so in order to do what she wants. She shows a deliberate disrespectful presence. I have set boundaries for Internet usage and she has violated that boundary by talking to people she does not know, lying, and telling me they go to school with her.…
Read MoreWe are constantly having to nag our daughter to get her chores done
Question: I have a nine-year-old who is developing an attitude that we are always nagging and she can’t do what she wants. Every time I ask her to do a chore she says yes, I go away, come back later and it won’t be done. This can happen three or four times before she gets…
Read MoreI’m embarrassed that I spanked my daughter for skipping classes
Question: I am a recently separated mom of three children ages 13, 10 and 8. The older two are girls. My thirteen-year-old really started to act up this school year, only a few months after her father and I separated. She was caught skipping classes twice earlier in the school year. I had to take…
Read MoreDisciplining Children
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Hebrews 12:4-13 I. It appears that at least some people realize that modern child-rearing philosophies don’t work. From our website people are continually looking for answers to questions, such as A. What kind of consequence or punishment should you give a child who lies, steals, is rebellious, is disobedient, is using…
Read MoreWho Would You Blame?
by Dudley Ross Spears Read this little bit of fiction (or is it?) When he was a baby, they were so proud to take him to worship. Everyone “oohed and aahed” and played “kitcky-koo.” They never missed a service at church. As a little boy, they taught him to behave during worship. They helped him regularly…
Read MoreDoes my son enjoy being spanked?
Question: I read the wealth of information your web site offers with regard to child rearing. I must say that I agree with most of what you say here. I have found the rod to be much more effective than the wooden spoon once I started using one almost two years ago. I have a…
Read MoreWhat Do You Mean By Chasten?
by Gary Colley Jesus dictated these words to the apostle John for the church in Laodicea: “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten” (Revelation 3:19). After this Bible reference appeared on a sign in the front of a church building, a phone call was received from a somewhat irate woman inquiring as to…
Read MoreUnwanted Children
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton It seems strange, but I’ve started writing this article numerous times. Each time I’ve tossed it because I found myself unable to express exactly what was going through my mind. Many years ago I realized that our country contains a lot of unwanted children. The circumstances which lead to the situation…
Read MoreTo Be a Parent
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton I ran across an article recently that makes a point that every parent should consider. Too many parents are abdicating their responsibility to raise their children, especially when they reach their teenage years. “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and…
Read MoreHow do you handle a manipulative girl?
Question: I think girls to be just as aggressive as boys but in a different way. Does God allow mean behaviors such as being manipulative and subversive to get what one wants? Please tell me, how do you turn around a catty, snippy or snooty child? Answer: Oh, I agree; aggression can be demonstrated in…
Read MoreThat You May Teach Your Children
by Dene Ward Someone recently asked me what I thought a kindergarten-aged child should know about the Bible. All I can tell you is from my own experience. I believe they should know about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit—and that all of those beings love him no matter what. They should know every major…
Read MoreTeach Your Child the Fear of the Lord
by Forrest D. Moyer, 1989 When Paul had listed all the sins of the Gentiles and of the Jews and was summing up his argument as to why all need the gospel, he told us why there is so much sin in the world in these succinct words: “There is no fear of God before…
Read MoreReady to Fly?
by Steve Klein It is spring, and the birds around the Klein plantation have been busy building nests, laying eggs, and rearing young. We even have a nest full of baby birds in the wreath that hangs on our front door. But sadly, not all baby birds will make it to adulthood. This past week,…
Read MorePunishment Doesn’t Help
by Mark Roberts Journalist Betsy Flagler writes the syndicated “Parent to Parent” column that asks readers to write in with parenting problems and then tries to get expert help for those troubles. A mother in California recently wrote in that her first-grader has been pushing and hitting, has been kicked out of the library, and…
Read MoreWhat do I do with a 20-year-old who continues to lie?
Question: My 20-year-old daughter is a liar. Her pattern of lying has been consistently punished. She knows that she will get caught and punished. From a young age, she has been told that this is unacceptable behavior and the sin nature. She feels it is best to run the risk of getting caught. Her punishments…
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