I have a teenager who would sleep in bed all day if I let him

Question: I have a sixteen-year-old boy who would just about spend all day in bed if I let him. He claims he needs twelve to fifteen hours of sleep each day, but I think something else is going on. Any advice? Answer: During a child’s growth spurt, their bodies do need more sleep, but typically…

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Why has my preteen daughter started growing armpit hair?

Question: Why has my pre-teen daughter started growing armpit hair? She’s 10! Answer: Auxiliary hair, such as armpit hair, can show up in a typical girl anywhere from 10 to 16 years of age. The average time for developing auxiliary hair is 11. So your daughter is within the normal range. Question: But a hedge?…

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My eight-year-old is having erections and he says they hurt

Question: My son just turned 8 and is having erections. He tells me it hurts and burns. I told him to put a cold wet cloth on it so it will go down. My husband tells me it is normal, but he seems so young and it seems to hurt. Is this normal and any…

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Can a boy have erections at any age?

Question: Can a boy get an erection at any age? Can they get an erection from the time they are born, even though there is no sperm production? Answer: Boys experience erections even before they are born. They start as early as 16 weeks into pregnancy. These erections are not like those experienced by adult…

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Can a ten-year-old have pubic hair?

Question: Can a ten-year-old have pubic hair? Answer: Yes, if they started puberty early. Girls can start puberty as early as eight and boys can start puberty as early as nine. For further details, see either: “What is Happening to Me?” in Growing Up in the Lord: A Study for Teenage Boys “What is Happening to…

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What should be the punishment for breaking a window accidentally?

Question: I have two twin boys, both aged 15. My wife and I both agree that the right way to parent is to spank when necessary with the rod. Recently they have been getting into a lot of trouble together, and yesterday they broke a window (whilst playing ball inside — forbidden in the house…

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My daughter is moody and depressed

Question: I am in desperate need of information to help my teenage daughter. She is struggling with self-esteem issues and the like — all of your normal teenage troubles. Now she is showing some signs of depression. She is 13. I have just spent the last two hours talking with her, and I thought it…

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My 11-year-old son is becoming overly dramatic and moody

Question: I am emailing you because you always have great advice for so many situations. I am having a hard time with my 11-year-old son. I am beginning to contemplate sending him to public school. Last year was the worst year we have had. I am fearing this year is going to be just as…

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Our nine-year-old is seeking boys’ attention by letting her underwear show

Question: We are a dresses-only family. My daughter is (deliberately?) not careful when running and playing and her underwear is showing. She has lost some of her treasured outfits. We raise her to dress very modestly. Last time she was on the swings during a church picnic seeking the boys’ attention. Other parents noticed. I’m…

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Things are improving in our home, but it is going so slowly!

Question: Thank you! Our home is slowly changing from a battle zone to a loving home. We still struggle, basically, since our 9-year-old acts like a 3 to 5-year-old, then I think she should have 3 to 5-year-old freedoms and choices. These will be earned back as she learns self-control and respect. I’m really needing…

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Should spankings only be done on the bottom?

Question: We have three boys 8,10 and 12. Of late they have become very defiant. We have read your web site and decided to spank. While being spanked they kick their legs and refuse to stay still. Should we swat them on the back of the legs to stop this, or is the bottom the…

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My son continues to backtalk us and punches his younger brother

Question: I just wanted to say thanks for contending for the faith, in relation to the person who wrote you against the Bible. I need further help with my son, who is 14. My wife and I have set the punishment for disobedience for both our sons. In addition to moving along if there are…

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I discovered one of my stepsons is looking at pornography

Question: I recently discovered that at least one of my stepsons had downloaded pornography on their computer, which is in their shared bedroom. The fourteen-year-old seems to be the guilty culprit, but he won’t own up. The twelve-year-old says it wasn’t him, and I believe him. The law says I’m within my right to beat…

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My fifteen-year-old lies so she can do what she wants

Question: My 15-year-old lies to me. I believe she does so in order to do what she wants. She shows a deliberate disrespectful presence. I have set boundaries for Internet usage and she has violated that boundary by talking to people she does not know, lying, and telling me they go to school with her.…

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I’m embarrassed that I spanked my daughter for skipping classes

Question: I am a recently separated mom of three children ages 13, 10 and 8. The older two are girls. My thirteen-year-old really started to act up this school year, only a few months after her father and I separated. She was caught skipping classes twice earlier in the school year. I had to take…

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Disciplining Children

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Hebrews 12:4-13   I.          It appears that at least some people realize that modern child-rearing philosophies don’t work. From our website people are continually looking for answers to questions, such as              A.         What kind of consequence or punishment should you give a child who lies, steals, is rebellious, is disobedient, is using…

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Who Would You Blame?

by Dudley Ross Spears Read this little bit of fiction (or is it?) When he was a baby, they were so proud to take him to worship. Everyone “oohed and aahed” and played “kitcky-koo.” They never missed a service at church. As a little boy, they taught him to behave during worship. They helped him regularly…

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Does my son enjoy being spanked?

Question: I read the wealth of information your web site offers with regard to child rearing. I must say that I agree with most of what you say here. I have found the rod to be much more effective than the wooden spoon once I started using one almost two years ago. I have a…

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What Do You Mean By Chasten?

by Gary Colley Jesus dictated these words to the apostle John for the church in Laodicea: “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten” (Revelation 3:19). After this Bible reference appeared on a sign in the front of a church building, a phone call was received from a somewhat irate woman inquiring as to…

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Unwanted Children

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton It seems strange, but I’ve started writing this article numerous times. Each time I’ve tossed it because I found myself unable to express exactly what was going through my mind. Many years ago I realized that our country contains a lot of unwanted children. The circumstances which lead to the situation…

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To Be a Parent

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton I ran across an article recently that makes a point that every parent should consider. Too many parents are abdicating their responsibility to raise their children, especially when they reach their teenage years. “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and…

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How do you handle a manipulative girl?

Question: I think girls to be just as aggressive as boys but in a different way. Does God allow mean behaviors such as being manipulative and subversive to get what one wants? Please tell me, how do you turn around a catty, snippy or snooty child? Answer: Oh, I agree; aggression can be demonstrated in…

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That You May Teach Your Children

by Dene Ward Someone recently asked me what I thought a kindergarten-aged child should know about the Bible. All I can tell you is from my own experience. I believe they should know about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit—and that all of those beings love him no matter what. They should know every major…

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Teach Your Child the Fear of the Lord

by Forrest D. Moyer, 1989 When Paul had listed all the sins of the Gentiles and of the Jews and was summing up his argument as to why all need the gospel, he told us why there is so much sin in the world in these succinct words: “There is no fear of God before…

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Ready to Fly?

by Steve Klein It is spring, and the birds around the Klein plantation have been busy building nests, laying eggs, and rearing young. We even have a nest full of baby birds in the wreath that hangs on our front door. But sadly, not all baby birds will make it to adulthood. This past week,…

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Punishment Doesn’t Help

by Mark Roberts Journalist Betsy Flagler writes the syndicated “Parent to Parent” column that asks readers to write in with parenting problems and then tries to get expert help for those troubles. A mother in California recently wrote in that her first-grader has been pushing and hitting, has been kicked out of the library, and…

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What do I do with a 20-year-old who continues to lie?

Question: My 20-year-old daughter is a liar. Her pattern of lying has been consistently punished. She knows that she will get caught and punished. From a young age, she has been told that this is unacceptable behavior and the sin nature. She feels it is best to run the risk of getting caught. Her punishments…

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How do you handle a child with ADD or ADHD?

Question: A Christian friend has a child that has been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. I keep this child once a week and I have several questions for those of you who are familiar with ADD or ADHD. The mother doesn’t want to give me much information because she feels I already have prejudiced views…

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How do I tell my son about puberty?

Question: How do I tell my son about puberty? Answer: First, as your child grows, look for teachable moments. These are times when your child asks you questions that can be used to discuss important matters without making it seem like a major production. For example, your little boy might tell you “I’m glad my…

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Are bare-bottom spankings necessary?

Question: I’m glad I came across your website and read so many things from other dads of older boys. I’m a single dad of a 13-year-old boy. I’ve been needing to spank him for his improper attitude, but I have been very afraid to. Mostly because I’m uptight about male nudity, but I realize that…

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How do I deal with my daughters stealing?

Question: I need some help solving a problem that I have with my daughters. Any advice or suggestions would be welcomed. I am writing in simple Spanish in hopes that you will not have difficulties in understanding it. If you do have problems, I will write in broken English. I believe that in Spanish or…

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How can you spank when the child refuses to submit to a spanking?

Question: In relation to using the rod with our sons who are 14 and 10, we started to use a switch and made changes to the way we spanked about a year ago after reading the information on your website. We talked with the boys and we all decided to use spanking in certain acts…

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My nine-year-old son doesn’t want to sleep in his own bedroom

Question: My nine-year-old son doesn’t want to sleep in his own bedroom. Is this good for his self-esteem? Answer: Self-esteem is just a nicer way to discuss pride (see Self-Esteem for more information). A Christian parent should not be concerned with developing or maintaining a child’s pride. The question should be, is it good for…

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