Parenting
My nine-year-old son doesn’t want to sleep in his own bedroom
Question: My nine-year-old son doesn’t want to sleep in his own bedroom. Is this good for his self-esteem? Answer: Self-esteem is just a nicer way to discuss pride (see Self-Esteem for more information). A Christian parent should not be concerned with developing or maintaining a child’s pride. The question should be, is it good for…
Read MoreHow do I deal with a sassy daughter?
Question: I need some advice on how to handle a sassy daughter. Time outs don’t work (even long ones!) and she is too old to spank. She is a very sensitive child with a sharp tongue and quick temper, constantly testing the boundaries. My husband and I are having a hard time figuring out how…
Read MoreHow do I deal with a rebellious attitude in a nine-year-old?
Question: When asking my nine-year-old daughter to do various chores she always obeys, but sometimes with a “humph,” a little puff of air which blows her hair up, sometimes with eye-rolling, and on rare occasions with stomping. I wonder if this is rebellion biblically? How do I get happy obedience? I find myself putting up…
Read MoreMy fifteen-year-old has become violent and domineering
Question: My oldest boy is 15 years old. Recently he has become violent and domineering. All the conversations that we have had with him haven’t helped much. He continues to pretend that now he is 15 years old he has the right to be free and to behave as he pleases. When we threaten punishment,…
Read MoreHow can I help someone who attempted suicide?
Question: I have a problem that I have never had to deal with before and pray that I will not experience anything like it again. One of our member’s granddaughter attempted suicide, by an overdose of prescription medication, last night. She is only fifteen years old, a very sweet young girl, but one that is…
Read MoreWhy does my son lie about his homework?
Question: Why does my son lie about his homework? Answer: People commit sins because they determine that momentary pleasure exceeds the consequences. The Bible mentions: “By faith Moses, when he became of age, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy…
Read MoreWhat do you suggest is a proper bedtime for preteens and teenagers?
Question: Thank you for a great site. I have one question. I have three children: two girls (ages 15 and 9) and a boy (age 12). One of my daughters asked permission to sleepover at one of her girlfriend’s home. I contacted the girlfriend’s mother and informed her about my daughter’s bedtime. She was very…
Read MoreMy son has become defiant and repeats the same sins
Question: I have a question in relation to child training. My son is 14 and I have to occasionally give him a spanking. However, he has been getting in trouble with the same sin. He continues to defy his mom. I read your articles on the website in regards to using the rod. I usually…
Read MoreHow do I prepare my nine-year-old daughter for puberty?
Question: I have a young 9-year-old girl and I’m trying to learn more about how to handle her upcoming puberty. It’s going to be hard for her to learn how to handle her young sexual desires. I have no idea what it’s like for girls. I’ll have to lean on my wife quite a bit.…
Read MoreDo boys get into trouble more because they are not taught to communicate?
Question: It’s good to know there are men like yourself in the world. It’s unfortunate that not enough men use old fashioned values for raising their sons. And it’s made worse when fathers do not support each other. I have two boys, 13 and 15. Good kids but rowdy as lots of boys are. My…
Read MoreShould kids swim with the opposite sex?
Question: I would like to ask why mixed swimming wasn’t discussed in your article, “Proper Attire”? To me, wearing any bathing suit is as close to being naked as you can get. There is nothing left to anyone’s imagination. Even if a person is clothed from head to toe, going to a public swimming pool…
Read MoreI can’t get my daughter to drink enough liquids
Question: I am having trouble with my daughter not drinking enough fluids. She gets really constipated and we all suffer for it. She may be in physical pain, but it messes with our bath and bedtimes. She was on the toilet for 45 minutes last night. She also makes us late for church, school, etc.…
Read MoreMy seven-year-old complains every time he has to do something
Question: I am once again in need of advice from those of you that have been at this longer than I. I am having a problem with my 7-year-old son. He is completing his chores and his schoolwork, but I am troubled by his attitude. I feel like I have to push him through his…
Read MoreMy child is constantly angry
Question: My 6 (almost 7) year old daughter is constantly angry. Anytime we tell her, “no,” or she doesn’t get her way, she gets this “angry face” and stomps around and pouts, or runs to her room to have a fit. I don’t give in to her when she behaves this way, so I figured…
Read MoreHow do you handle an overactive child without drugs?
Question: I am a tired mother with a very overactive 6-year-old, and though I do not want to rely on drugs to calm him, I’m forced to consider it, if this is indeed a problem that might be out of his hands and ours. It is a situation which I must deal with personally, and…
Read MoreMy daughter lies but eventually tells the truth under pressure
Question: If a child lies about something but eventually tells the truth under pressure, should she be punished for not telling the truth in the first place, or will that just encourage her to persist in the lie the next time? It seems to me we should be teaching them that the right thing to…
Read MoreMy child has become fearful of our new house
Question: I love your web site! Please advise: I have a 5-year-old son who has two older sisters. They have all been watching the Disney Channel’s Halloween specials. I just found out how scary they are, at least to a 5-year-old! To top things off, we just moved from 800 sq ft to a 3,000…
Read MoreWhat do you do with a whining 5-year-old who doesn’t like to take a bath?
Question: What do you do with a whining 5-year-old who doesn’t like to take a bath? Answer: Children learn to do things that let them do the things they want to do. The simple answer is that you’re the parent and he is the child. Don’t let the whining change or delay what needs to…
Read MoreHow do I stop my 8-year-old from wetting his bed?
Question: How do I stop my 8-year-old from wetting his bed? Answer: In most cases you will not be able to stop the problem; you will only be able to minimize the number of events. For reasons still not fully understood, some children — mostly boys — holding urine overnight. Speculations range from difficulty in…
Read MoreMy 8-year-old says he wants to drown himself. What do I do?
Question: I have an 8-year-old with behavioral issues. Several times he has said he wants to drown himself. What do I do? Answer: Assuming that the statements are not hyperbole, such as indicating embarrassment by saying “I wish I were dead,” then you have a problem on your hand that cannot be ignored. It is…
Read MoreHow should I handle a child that badgers me all the time?
Question: How should I handle a child that badgers me all the time? I found an article and wanted to know what you think. The article said, When a child resorts to badgering, the goal is to wear the parent down in order to change the no answer to a yes answer. It’s amazing how…
Read MoreHow do you present an attractive meal for a five-year-old child?
Question: How do you present an attractive meal for a five-year-old child? Answer: My first thought was why would a parent want to cater to the whims of a child? Is it for a special occasion? Or is the child ill and not eating well? Or are you as the adult trying to win points…
Read MoreDid I do the right thing by spanking my child for pushing me?
Question: I have a question. My youngest son is 4 years old. Yesterday he pushed me and said some bad words. I was upset and I asked him to apologize, but he didn’t. Today his misbehavior returned. He did the same thing. I took him to his room, but he yelled, so I decided to spank him. Did…
Read MoreCan too many toys hamper a child’s play?
Question: Can too many toys hamper a child’s play? Answer: You might be surprised to learn that overindulging in “things”, such as toys, can lead to boredom. See the article “Boredom” for more details.
Read MoreCan diapers cause sterility later in life?
Question: I have a friend who is from Russia. I believe she gets a lot of her information from her relatives there. Her son will be 3 in March. She has not bothered to potty train him at all, but he doesn’t wear diapers, just his normal underpants with jeans or shorts, depending on the…
Read MoreHow do you handle difficulties in getting a toddler to brush her teeth?
Question: How do you handle difficulties in getting a toddler to brush her teeth? Answer: I asked several women in the church and the following is a composite of their responses. Most small children go through a stage where they don’t want to brush their teeth. Most of the time is just another form of…
Read MoreEli and Being Soft on Sin
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton I. There are many things to admire about the man Eli A. He judged Israel for 40 years; during which time he was God’s spokesman. B. We find no record of any outward evil or sin in his life. C. When Eli learns that Samuel will take his place, Eli does not rebel, grow bitter,…
Read MoreNotes on Parenting
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 Psalm 37:25-26 Psalm 103:13 Psalm 112:1-2 Psalm 127:1 Proverbs 1:8 Proverbs 6:20 Proverbs 10:1 Proverbs 11:16 Proverbs 11:29 Proverbs 12:1 Proverbs 13:1 Proverbs 17:1 Proverbs 17:21 Proverbs 17:25 Proverbs 19:20 Proverbs 20:11 Proverbs 22:6 Proverbs 23:24-25 Proverbs 24:3-4 Proverbs 25:28 Proverbs 29:15 Isaiah 28:9-10 Isaiah 54:13 Mark 3:25 Ephesians 6:1 Ephesians 6:4 Colossians…
Read MoreNotes on Adolescence and Teenagers
Genesis 37:2-4 “This is the history of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brothers. And the lad was with the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives; and Joseph brought a bad report of them to his father. Now Israel loved Joseph more than all…
Read MoreHow can I make my daughter interested in studying?
Question: My daughter is 12 years old and in the seventh standard at an Indian convent. She does not have any interest in studying. Please let me know what I can do to make her study. Answer: In order for education to take place, there needs to be a teacher willing to teach, a student…
Read MoreIs it right for my dad to still spank me at nineteen?
Question: I’ve read your ‘Answers’ section and have a question of my own regarding spanking. My father is a devout Christian and shares your views on not sparing the rod. I am nineteen now and am still given very sound spankings by my father. He uses a leather strap or small switch and often lays…
Read MoreCan spanking hurt a child’s feelings?
Question: My son was very rude and would not explain his behavior. I must mention that it has been over a month since the last time that I spanked him. At that time I gave him a spanking in front of everyone. It was very effective, so I used the same method this time. I…
Read MoreWelcome to Church … Kids Not Invited
by Mike Thomas I was so distracted once at a church service (away from here), by an overwhelming amount of noise from the audience, that I had a hard time concentrating on the lesson. I tried focusing my attention on the speaker, but the person behind me and a few others across the aisle were…
Read MoreI Saw a Child
by Leo Rogol (1969) What I saw was not what one reads about children in storybooks and poems: It was not the beauty of childish innocence; the simple trusting faith in something big, wide, and wonderful; a child roaming the fields with his beloved dog, searching out the marvelous mysteries and wonders of nature. Though…
Read MoreHow do I chasten my teenager for using drugs?
Question: How do I chasten my teenager for using drugs? Question: What do I do if I find my teenager is using drugs? Answer: The use of drugs causes numerous problems for the parent as well as the child. Some of what I’m about to write will need to be modified for your particular situation…
Read MoreHow can I get my 8-year-old son to stop wetting his pants?
Question: We have a strong-willed eight-year-old son that occasionally wets his pants (once every two to three months when he’s too busy playing and the like). Recently, after a wetting episode, I decided to discipline him by diapering him. My wife felt it was not appropriate, and that I should just increase the severity of…
Read MoreShould a child’s pants be taken down for a spanking?
Question: I want to ask, please, if it’s good to take down the pants of a seven-year-old child for a spanking. Answer: When disciplining a child, spanking is not the only option available to a parent. Often, when parenting is done well, spankings will only be needed infrequently. Raising a child well also involves teaching…
Read MoreHow do you prevent teenagers from having pre-marital sex?
Question: How do you prevent teenagers from having pre-marital sex? Answer: “We have a little sister, and she has no breasts; what shall we do for our sister on the day when she is spoken for? If she is a wall, we will build on her a battlement of silver; but if she is a…
Read MoreOur Father in Heaven
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Luke 11:1-13 I. God calls us to be His special people – II Corinthians 6:16-18 A. If we will separate ourselves from the world, God will be our Father and we will be His sons and daughters B. Why did God pick the role of a father to describe His relationship with…
Read MoreFaithful Fathers
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Deuteronomy 8:1-10 I. It is not arbitrarily that God is referred to as our Father and we His children A. After the wandering in the wilderness, God told them they endured hardship because He was treating as a father would treat his children. B. We can learn from God what is expected…
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