Why don’t people who have non-marital sex face immediate consequences?



I have a question or two:

The first one is: Why is it that people who have non-marital sex do not face consequences at that moment?

And my second question is: How can I overcome my anger and sadness whenever I hear or see people having sex?

I'm a female, in my early twenties, and still a virgin. There have been many times when I could have lost my virginity, but I did not want to because I'm a believer in Christ, and I don't want to disappoint him. But sometimes I get really frustrated and jealous, to the point where I really want to cry and break stuff because it seems like the only way you can have sex without penalty is when you're married. I know that's the wrong reason to get married in the first place. But how the media and people advertise that sex is important in a healthy relationship makes me not even believe in that at all and not find it necessary. Yet I'm supposedly "missing out" on something, but I want to try it. It doesn't feel like I'll ever get married and end up in my fifties single and never been married.

I've never had a boyfriend. I never went out on a date. I've seen couples younger than me in relationships or even around my age group already married and that just makes it even worse.

What can I do to prevent this from rising again? I pray and talk to God sometimes; yet, I don't know how He'll respond, or whether He never does.


"Truly God is good to Israel, to such as are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled; my steps had nearly slipped. For I was envious of the boastful, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

For there are no pangs in their death, but their strength is firm. They are not in trouble as other men, nor are they plagued like other men. Therefore pride serves as their necklace; violence covers them like a garment. Their eyes bulge with abundance; they have more than heart could wish. They scoff and speak wickedly concerning oppression; they speak loftily. They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walks through the earth. Therefore his people return here, and waters of a full cup are drained by them. And they say, "How does God know? And is there knowledge in the Most High?" Behold, these are the ungodly, who are always at ease; they increase in riches.

Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocence. For all day long I have been plagued, and chastened every morning.

If I had said, "I will speak thus," behold, I would have been untrue to the generation of Your children. When I thought how to understand this, it was too painful for me -- until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I understood their end. Surely You set them in slippery places; You cast them down to destruction. Oh, how they are brought to desolation, as in a moment! They are utterly consumed with terrors" (Psalms 73:1-19).

Very few sins have immediate consequences. If all sins did, one could not truly claim to have full freedom to make choices in life. God allows people to make mistakes, but with the warning that they will eventually have to face the results of their choices. "Behold, all souls are Mine; The soul of the father As well as the soul of the son is Mine; The soul who sins shall die" (Ezekiel 18:4).

Of course, you want sex. It is a desire that is built into all adults and it is strongest when we are young. But just because you want something, it doesn't follow that unrestricted access to it is the best thing for you. I like to eat, but I have to continually tell myself that I can't eat all that I want. Sex is freely available, but only within the boundaries of marriage. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). See: "Waiting for the Proper Time."

The world's ideas about sex are as corrupt as its ideas on many issues. Sex doesn't make a quality marriage. Sex is a benefit of marriage, but the core of marriage is companionship. "Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, ... Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant" (Malachi 2:14). The world chases after sex, and maybe thinks about friendship later, if at all. That is why these "relationships" don't last. See "Marriage's Glue" for more.

So be "unworldly." Be different. Work at making friends, male and female. Eventually, as you increase the pool of people you know, one guy is going to stand out as someone special. He'll be someone who wants to be your friend and protector and not dying to use your body for his gratification. Such men are a rare breed, but they do exist. They're having the same problem you are having -- finding a decent woman who wants to be a wife. That is why broadening your circle of friends is so important. It increases the odds of finding the right person.

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