How do you deal with an overactive six-year-old?

Question: I think for Christians, we must be careful not to depend on things of the world to do for us what we have been given the ability by God to do. And yet we must sometimes depend on others and other things to aid us in living our life to glorify Him. Even Timothy…

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How do you gauge how many swats to give in a spanking?

Question: How do I gauge when my son has been given enough swats — I have found as he gets older that he tries to “macho” through a spanking and it has become harder to tell when he has been chastised sufficiently without crossing the line into abuse. Answer: A parent should look at the discipline…

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How do I punish my teenage son for lying about his grades?

Question: I have a serious problem with my oldest son who is 17. My wife and I have raised him in church, and he attends a Christian school. This past semester, he led us to believe he was doing all right in school. I received his report card and he has two failing grades. My…

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How do you punish a boy caught masturbating?

Question: I have a problem. Yesterday, I sent my son to his room because he had misbehaved. About 15 minutes later I decided to check on him to make sure he wasn’t sulking. I normally knock before opening the door, but this time I just opened it. I was appalled to see him masturbating. He quickly…

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Who Would You Blame?

by Dudley Ross Spears Read this little bit of fiction (or is it?) When he was a baby, they were so proud to take him to worship. Everyone “oohed and aahed” and played “kitcky-koo.” They never missed a service at church. As a little boy, they taught him to behave during worship. They helped him regularly…

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Does my son enjoy being spanked?

Question: I read the wealth of information your web site offers with regard to child rearing. I must say that I agree with most of what you say here. I have found the rod to be much more effective than the wooden spoon once I started using one almost two years ago. I have a…

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What Do You Mean By Chasten?

by Gary Colley Jesus dictated these words to the apostle John for the church in Laodicea: “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten” (Revelation 3:19). After this Bible reference appeared on a sign in the front of a church building, a phone call was received from a somewhat irate woman inquiring as to…

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Unwanted Children

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton It seems strange, but I’ve started writing this article numerous times. Each time I’ve tossed it because I found myself unable to express exactly what was going through my mind. Many years ago I realized that our country contains a lot of unwanted children. The circumstances which lead to the situation…

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How should I handle out-of-control teenage boys?

Question: First, let me apologize for not giving you enough details upon which to base a recommended course of action. Actually, the answer you gave, even without specifics, makes good sense: go after the most serious problems first and then move down the line, without dropping the ball on the first set of issues. I think…

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Should I spank my stepsons?

Question: I have just married a wonderful woman with two teenage boys who are out of control. They have not been spanked in years and I think it is time to re-institute that form of discipline into their life; at least until their behavior improves. My wife agrees to abide by your decision and recommendations,…

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To Be a Parent

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton I ran across an article recently that makes a point that every parent should consider. Too many parents are abdicating their responsibility to raise their children, especially when they reach their teenage years. “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and…

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How do you handle a manipulative girl?

Question: I think girls to be just as aggressive as boys but in a different way. Does God allow mean behaviors such as being manipulative and subversive to get what one wants? Please tell me, how do you turn around a catty, snippy or snooty child? Answer: Oh, I agree; aggression can be demonstrated in…

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That You May Teach Your Children

by Dene Ward Someone recently asked me what I thought a kindergarten-aged child should know about the Bible. All I can tell you is from my own experience. I believe they should know about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit—and that all of those beings love him no matter what. They should know every major…

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Teach Your Child the Fear of the Lord

by Forrest D. Moyer, 1989 When Paul had listed all the sins of the Gentiles and of the Jews and was summing up his argument as to why all need the gospel, he told us why there is so much sin in the world in these succinct words: “There is no fear of God before…

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How do I get my child to be honest with me?

Question: How do I get my child to be honest with me? Answer: First, set the proper example of being honest in all your dealings; not just with your child but with everyone around you. Just as Paul told Timothy in being a preacher he must, “be an example to the believers in word, in…

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Your ideas on child rearing are sick

Question: Just in reading over your website and all your perverted, sick thoughts on child-rearing, I don’t think you have a clue about love and compassion. Read the New Testament, you ignorant, sick person. Answer: The above comment was edited to remove the profanity within. I find it amazing that a person who criticizes my…

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Ready to Fly?

by Steve Klein It is spring, and the birds around the Klein plantation have been busy building nests, laying eggs, and rearing young. We even have a nest full of baby birds in the wreath that hangs on our front door. But sadly, not all baby birds will make it to adulthood. This past week,…

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Punishment Doesn’t Help

by Mark Roberts Journalist Betsy Flagler writes the syndicated “Parent to Parent” column that asks readers to write in with parenting problems and then tries to get expert help for those troubles. A mother in California recently wrote in that her first-grader has been pushing and hitting, has been kicked out of the library, and…

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Am I being too controlling?

Question: My being too controlling on the kids is generally directed towards my eldest. He is a great child: very respectful, wins awards for citizenship, and all the teachers adore him and praise him. My problem is I snap at him for anything. Instead of being able to let it roll off, I have to put…

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Did I go too far in spanking my daughter?

Question: I am a recently separated mom of three children ages 13, 10 and 8. The older two are girls. My thirteen-year-old really started to act up this school year, only a few months after her father and I separated. She was caught skipping classes twice earlier in the school year. I had to take…

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How do you get over the embarrassment of spanking a teenager?

Question: I’m glad I came across your website and read so many things from other dads of older boys. I’m a single dad of a 13-year-old boy. I’ve been needing to spank him for his improper attitude, but I have been very afraid to. Mostly because I’m uptight about male nudity, but I realize that…

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How do I stop my daughters from stealing?

Question: [Note to readers: I used automated translation software to get the gist of what was written and then rewrote it for clarity. Please regard any errors in the translation as mistakes on my part.] I need some help solving a problem that I have with my daughters. Any advice or suggestions would be welcomed.…

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Would God be pleased with my example to my children?

Question: I would like to ask a question since it deals with teaching my children. Will the Lord be pleased with the way I am teaching my children to live in this world today?  Lying example – I have a son who is disabled and has a life expectancy in the early twenties. I’m trying…

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What do I do with a 20-year-old who continues to lie?

Question: My 20-year-old daughter is a liar. Her pattern of lying has been consistently punished. She knows that she will get caught and punished. From a young age, she has been told that this is unacceptable behavior and the sin nature. She feels it is best to run the risk of getting caught. Her punishments…

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How do you handle a child with ADD or ADHD?

Question: A Christian friend has a child that has been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. I keep this child once a week and I have several questions for those of you who are familiar with ADD or ADHD. The mother doesn’t want to give me much information because she feels I already have prejudiced views…

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How do I tell my son about puberty?

Question: How do I tell my son about puberty? Answer: First, as your child grows, look for teachable moments. These are times when your child asks you questions that can be used to discuss important matters without making it seem like a major production. For example, your little boy might tell you “I’m glad my…

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Are bare-bottom spankings necessary?

Question: I’m glad I came across your website and read so many things from other dads of older boys. I’m a single dad of a 13-year-old boy. I’ve been needing to spank him for his improper attitude, but I have been very afraid to. Mostly because I’m uptight about male nudity, but I realize that…

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How do I deal with my daughters stealing?

Question: I need some help solving a problem that I have with my daughters. Any advice or suggestions would be welcomed. I am writing in simple Spanish in hopes that you will not have difficulties in understanding it. If you do have problems, I will write in broken English. I believe that in Spanish or…

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How can you spank when the child refuses to submit to a spanking?

Question: In relation to using the rod with our sons who are 14 and 10, we started to use a switch and made changes to the way we spanked about a year ago after reading the information on your website. We talked with the boys and we all decided to use spanking in certain acts…

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My nine-year-old son doesn’t want to sleep in his own bedroom

Question: My nine-year-old son doesn’t want to sleep in his own bedroom. Is this good for his self-esteem? Answer: Self-esteem is just a nicer way to discuss pride (see Self-Esteem for more information). A Christian parent should not be concerned with developing or maintaining a child’s pride. The question should be, is it good for…

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How do I deal with a sassy daughter?

Question: I need some advice on how to handle a sassy daughter. Time outs don’t work (even long ones!) and she is too old to spank. She is a very sensitive child with a sharp tongue and quick temper, constantly testing the boundaries. My husband and I are having a hard time figuring out how…

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How do I deal with a rebellious attitude in a nine-year-old?

Question: When asking my nine-year-old daughter to do various chores she always obeys, but sometimes with a “humph,” a little puff of air which blows her hair up, sometimes with eye-rolling, and on rare occasions with stomping. I wonder if this is rebellion biblically? How do I get happy obedience? I find myself putting up…

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My fifteen-year-old has become violent and domineering

Question: My oldest boy is 15 years old. Recently he has become violent and domineering. All the conversations that we have had with him haven’t helped much. He continues to pretend that now he is 15 years old he has the right to be free and to behave as he pleases. When we threaten punishment,…

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How can I help someone who attempted suicide?

Question: I have a problem that I have never had to deal with before and pray that I will not experience anything like it again. One of our member’s granddaughter attempted suicide, by an overdose of prescription medication, last night. She is only fifteen years old, a very sweet young girl, but one that is…

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Why does my son lie about his homework?

Question: Why does my son lie about his homework? Answer: People commit sins because they determine that momentary pleasure exceeds the consequences. The Bible mentions: “By faith Moses, when he became of age, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy…

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What do you suggest is a proper bedtime for preteens and teenagers?

Question: Thank you for a great site. I have one question. I have three children: two girls (ages 15 and 9) and a boy (age 12). One of my daughters asked permission to sleepover at one of her girlfriend’s home. I contacted the girlfriend’s mother and informed her about my daughter’s bedtime. She was very…

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My son has become defiant and repeats the same sins

Question: I have a question in relation to child training. My son is 14 and I have to occasionally give him a spanking. However, he has been getting in trouble with the same sin. He continues to defy his mom. I read your articles on the website in regards to using the rod. I usually…

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How do I prepare my nine-year-old daughter for puberty?

Question: I have a young 9-year-old girl and I’m trying to learn more about how to handle her upcoming puberty. It’s going to be hard for her to learn how to handle her young sexual desires. I have no idea what it’s like for girls. I’ll have to lean on my wife quite a bit.…

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