I’ve been with my boyfriend for several years. We have a small child together. We have bought a house together. And I love him. We have blended a family consisting of his prior child and my prior children from a previous marriage. He ask me to marry him one night about two years ago, but afterward, it was dropped, and we have never married. He wanted to run off and get married at a courthouse. I told him I wanted to marry in front of God and with his mom and our children watching. Now he says he will never marry me and told me that when we first dated, he had said he was never getting married again, which is not true. He says he loves me but will not make this commitment. I know we are in sin and every time somebody says something unconsciously about illegitimate children or asks when are we getting married, it affects me deeply. I don’t want to say he doesn’t want to marry me. I’m ashamed and he doesn’t care. He gets mad if I try to bring it up.
What do I do, keep praying or break up what we have built, lose our home, and our kids destroyed?
Since you are asking a preacher, I assume you are wanting to know what God says on the matter.
The first issue is that both of you have prior marriages. In the New Testament, a divorce does not automatically grant the right to a second marriage (I Corinthians 7:10-11). Only when the cause for the divorce was that the other spouse was sexually sinning does it allow for the spouse who was not sinning to marry someone else if he or she so chooses (Matthew 19:9). Since I do not know the reasons why your previous marriages ended, I don't know if you and he both have the right to a second marriage.
Regardless, continuing sin is never justified. You are essentially pretending to have a family and a marriage without making the commitment that God requires. He says he doesn't want to marry you, so taking him at his word, you and your children need to move out and find a place where you can raise them. Yes, it is going to be hard, but this all started because you chose to sin. Sins always make a mess of life and continuing sin is not going to improve things.