Should we marry after committing fornication?
Question:
Good morning,
I have a question. I am a Christian, growing in grace, I'm 26 years of age.
I met a young Christian lady during the time I was asking the Lord who will go with me on this mission as a wife. When I saw her, my spirit agreed that she was the one for me with many other confirmations. I had a great love for her that was sacrificial and pure. I was more spiritual than her, but she is wiser and a good counselor and had a great desire for spiritual growth and a walk with God. We became friends, prayed, and had Bible studies together. We went out for evangelism together. We even went out to strengthen those who were depressed and in a state of despondency.
Then one bad day, I went to visit her when she was sick and strong emotions set in. We fell into the sin of fornication. We both felt guilty and repented.
My question is: Should we proceed with the intended marriage, having defiled the bed?
Answer:
Under God's Old Testament law, when an unmarried man had sex with an unmarried woman, the law required that they marry, unless her father objected. "If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her and lies with her and they are discovered, then the man who lay with her shall give to the girl's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his days" (Deuteronomy 22:28-29). "If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged, and lies with her, he must pay a dowry for her to be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the dowry for virgins" (Exodus 22:16-17). In other words, because a man used a woman for his own pleasure, he is responsible for his actions.
But what you are claiming is that these laws were morally wrong. However, God is never wrong. We are not under the Law of Moses, but these laws do show what God sees as the proper way to deal with the consequence of this particular sin. Thus, we conclude that you and she sinned and the proper way to take responsibility for your sin is to marry her.
