How do I keep my virginity without him cheating on me?
Question:
Good evening,
I am a new member. Please, I am 20 years old and a virgin. I have a fiance who promised to marry me, He is always asking me to come to his place. Is it advisable?
Answer:
When I teach young people about sexual matters, I give extra emphasis to the young men that they are responsible for where a relationship goes sexually. Everyone must practice self-control, but the weight of responsibility lies on the shoulders of the men.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law" (Galatians 5:22-23).
When your boyfriend weakens in the face of temptation, it is your responsibility to place limits. Insist on being treated with respect and not like a sexual plaything. Don't see how close you can get without having sex, rather emphasize that you are your husband's prize after you are married. Don't dress provocatively. Insist that you limit or eliminate opportunities where you could have sex, such as not being at his home or he at yours when no one else is around.
Question:
Thanks for your response, sir.
Answer:
You are not responsible for your boyfriend's sins -- he alone is responsible for what he chooses to do. "Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body" (I Corinthians 6:18).
Notice what he just told you. He sees his desire to have sex as more important than living righteously before God. Instead of asking to marry you sooner (I Corinthians 7:9), he chose to have sex with another woman and then blame you for his decision to sin. What do you think is going to happen in the future if did marry this guy? He clearly doesn't honor his commitments. He is the type of guy who will commit adultery if the opportunity presents itself and if you find out about it, he will blame you for what he did.
The best thing you can do is dump the bum and find an honorable man to marry. A man like this isn't worth your time.
Response:
Thanks so much.
