Would God bless our marriage after living together?
Question:
Hello!
Thank you for answering so many important questions.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and we weren't Christians when we started dating. In the last few months, our faith has shifted and we are trying to clean our lives up. We are not married, but we are living together and sleeping together often. We have been discussing marriage and would like to be married sometime soon. I know what the Bible says about sex before marriage and assume it says the same about living together before marriage as well. Living apart is not feasible at the moment due to finances and the fact that he is our sole provider (we have taken on traditional husband/wife roles, he works and provides and I take care of the home and my child from a previous relationship).
Could God still bless our marriage or is it doomed? I love Jesus and want to honor Him, but I’m confused about what to do in our current situation as new Christians.
Sorry, that was a bit long. Thank you so much!
Answer:
One requirement that God has for becoming a Christian is the need to repent of your sins. "Then Peter said to them, 'Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit' " (Acts 2:38). You know that sex before marriage is wrong. In fact, Paul said, "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). The conclusion is that you two really haven't become Christians because you haven't fully made up your minds to follow Christ completely. You are trying to stay in the world and its sins while claiming to be rescued from those very sins. It just doesn't work.
The simple answer is to make a complete change. Go get married. "But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthian 7:9). Instead of having a pretend marriage, have a real one. It doesn't have to be anything fancy or costly. You can very likely get married in a day at the local courthouse.
The same is true about your Christian walk. Don't settle for a pretense. Become true Christians. See How to Become a Christian.
God doesn't hold your past against you when you are doing what is right. "But if the wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed and observes all My statutes and practices justice and righteousness, he shall surely live; he shall not die. All his transgressions which he has committed will not be remembered against him; because of his righteousness which he has practiced, he will live. 'Do I have any pleasure in the death of the wicked,' declares the Lord GOD, 'rather than that he should turn from his ways and live?' " (Ezekiel 18:21-23). But don't think you fool God with half-hearted pretenses.
