Does God choose spouses for us? Does the church decide who we marry?
Question:
I’ve been wondering, does God really choose spouses for us, or does He show us the person who will marry us? My church leaders are against my boyfriend marrying me because they say I’m not good enough for him. He is now confused and doesn’t know whether or not to continue, I love him and don’t think I’ll ever get married if I lose him. I committed fornication with a different guy before meeting my new guy, lost my virginity. I have also slept with this new guy; however, I know all this was wrong and I’ve since repented. We stopped doing it. This new guy and I’ve re-dedicated our lives to Christ. I feel I cannot sleep with any other man again. I want this to be the last mistake. What should I do?
Answer:
You raise a number of issues that are actually separate issues.
First, regarding God picking our spouses, see:
- Does God have a say in whom we choose as a spouse?
- Should I keep waiting for God to find me a husband?
- Do you think God created one special person for you?
- How will I know that this is the girl God wants me to marry?
Second, church leaders do not speak for God directly. They can help a person make good decisions by guiding them to which Scriptures apply to his particular situation. I don't know why these people are against him marrying you, but ultimately the decision -- good or bad -- is his and yours alone. Others can advise, but the choice is yours to make. See:
- My pastor says God told her that I shouldn't marry my fiance. What do I do?
- A prophet told my fiance not to marry me. What do I do?
I'm glad you both realized that fornication is wrong and have left that sin behind.
