How will I know that this is the girl God wants me to marry?
Question:
I believe that if the girl has come to my heart by the Spirit, then God will take care of all the situation ahead. So I am asking God to reveal His plan's for my life. I haven't opened the issue to her yet. What I thought was I would fast for 21 days and let me give to the hands of God. But day by day when I pray, my prayer is focused mainly on this issue rather than on an anointing of the Holy Spirit.
She is in a different country, so the proximity factor is not there. How can I know the will of the Lord in this issue? I thought of telling her only if the Father in heaven says yes to this issue.
I need your guidance, whether am I deviating from the track as my prayer is more focused on her.
Answer:
You are approaching the matter in the wrong direction. Look at your question again and notice that you are hoping to use self-deprivation to "force" God to give you a clear answer. None of us are in a position to make God do anything. That is one of the messages from the book of Job in the Bible. Job faced extreme suffering though he was innocent of any wrong against God. As you go through the book you find that Job hopes to plead his case before God and prove that he was wronged. The book ends with Job facing the fact that God is far mightier and more righteous than he. And while Job's suffering ends, he was never told why he suffered in the first place. That is the point. God isn't obligated to explain Himself to man. Take a look at the sermon outline "The Book of Job" for more details about this.
The thing is, God has given you instruction through His holy book regarding how to pick a proper mate. His book contains everything pertaining to life and godliness (II Peter 1:3). If you follow His guidance, you will likely find a suitable wife. You should pray for help and wisdom as you make your choice. You should read all you can about marriage from the Bible. And then you must trust God as you move forward.
One of the marvels God has promised is that He can make all things work to the good of His people (Romans 8:28). As you read the context, you will find that Paul doesn't have nice things in mind. He talks about perils, wars, persecutions, famines, and poverty (Romans 8:35). His point is that God can turn even bad things into something that benefits His people. The key is giving your life over to Him. The rest has a way of working out.
So, when you are considering marrying this lady, you must ask yourself if doing so is going to make your service to God easier or harder. Is she going to be with you in your walk toward God or trying to get between you and God and hindering your spiritual progress?
Because of the distance involved, it would be important to take time to get to know her well before marrying. Correspond, visit as often as you can, talk to her family and friends, learn everything you can about her. You will see one of two things happen. The more you know her, the more you love her for who she is, or the more you know her, the more you become disappointed that she is not what you dreamed she would be. In the later, end the relationship before you marry her. In the former, know that you found a companion.
Question:
Thank you very much for your mail and sorry to disturb you again and asking questions on the same issue. I wish to add up one more point to this: yesterday when we prayed for this matter and opened the Bible I got the verse from Hosea:
19 I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,
in love and compassion.
20 I will betroth you in faithfulness,
and you will acknowledge the LORD.
Can I take this as a promise from God or I am mistaken again.
Question:
Now you are treating your Bible as an instrument for fortune-telling. God condemned fortune-telling and related practices. "When you come into the land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominations of those nations. There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, or one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who conjures spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. For all who do these things are an abomination to the LORD, and because of these abominations the LORD your God drives them out from before you" (Deuteronomy 18:9-12). What you are trying to do is "interpret omens" by flipping pages in the Bible.
God wants you to understand His book (Ephesians 5:17), but that means reading and understanding what God says. He is not a respecter of persons; that is, God doesn't give one set of rules to one person and different rules to another person. We are all told the same things.
God has said that marriage is an honorable course in a person's life. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). He has given us advice about selecting a good companion. Follow His advice and you will find a wonderful woman to spend the rest of your life with.
But don't put God to the test by demanding that you need a specific answer from Him before you will make a move. This is what Jesus condemned Satan for trying to do in his temptation of Jesus (Matthew 4:5-7).
