Was I wrong to withhold my blessing?
Question:
Dear Sir,
My adult daughter is living with a guy twice her age. They want to get married, and it appears he wants my blessing. However, he doesn't have a vehicle, can't keep a job thus far and just started a new job a couple of weeks ago, doesn't have a credit card, which is required by most landlords to apply for phone and internet services, nor does he know how to manage money, etc.
I have said no for legal reasons while at the same time telling them that because they are both adults, I can't stop them. They hold to opposite faith views as well. She's my prodigal.
Fornication in the Bible is wrong, so am I wrong in the advice I gave?
Answer:
A blessing is merely your approval of the person your child has chosen to marry. It doesn't hold any legal meaning in most countries. Your child has made a poor choice in whom she wants to marry you, so it is reasonable to say, "No." She doesn't need her mother's approval to ease her conscience.
If you are in the Philippines, someone between the ages of 18 and 21 must have parental consent before they marry. Those between 21 and 28 are asked to get a letter of parental advice, but they can still get married if such a letter is withheld.
If your daughter decides to have sex without getting married, that would be her decision (Ezekiel 18:20). Your objection to her marriage is not a reason for your daughter to sin.
Response:
Thanks for taking the time to answer my concerns. I feel much better now, and the weight has been lifted.
