Posts Tagged ‘raising children’
Discipline
https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/2007Fall3Discipline.mp3 by Scott Smelser The Family
Read MoreIs it okay to leave the number of swats open-ended?
Question: He finally pushed it too far. Even though he is eleven and never had a spanking, he swore at his mother one too many times and I decided something had to change. My problem is that he struggled as I started to spank him. I told him that if he stayed still for two…
Read MoreThe spankings don’t seem to be working, what should I do?
Question: I wrote to you a few months ago about a couple of boys at church who’s mom had asked me to help enforce obeying the rules. Since their father is not in the picture, a few of us guys have helped by taking them out to trips and spending one-on-one time with them. Well…
Read MoreWhat advice should we give our children in receiving a spanking?
Question: Your site gives plenty of very helpful advice to parents about how to administer a spanking. We have three boys. We have spanked them before but not as consistently as we should have. Because of their recent behavior we have determined to start spanking consistently and with no excuses. We are going to discuss…
Read MoreWill God hold me accountable for my son’s sinful life?
Question: I am a Christian woman who is very distressed over my 19-year-old son who has suddenly turned to underage drinking and sexual fornication. Have I committed these sins against him, by not using wisdom with whom he was hanging around? Will God hold me accountable for my son’s rebellion? I am weighed down heavily…
Read MoreA rebuttal to “When is a child too old to spank?”
Question: I would like to comment on your article entitled: How do we start biblical discipline when our children are already older? I agree with most of what you have written. I believe that corporal punishment can be very effective if it is done in love, not impulsively and not as a reaction to anger. As…
Read MoreShould children contribute to the church?
Question: My daughter is now eleven years old. When we, in the church, lay by in store on Sunday she has always put in her small amount. I have encouraged this to teach her to give. However, some oppose this with the view that giving is for adults, for the baptized. Of course, we don’t…
Read MoreHow can a parent spank a teenage athlete?
Question: I have read some of the responses to Christian parents questions on spanking their children and teenagers. Many of my friends have trouble with their teenagers and often think of using it. The thing is what would a parent do with a teenager who is athletic, a soccer player, a junior varsity football or…
Read MoreHow can I make my 17-year-old daughter understand lying makes me distrust her?
Question: How can I make my child understand that lying makes me distrust everything she says? She really thinks it’s OK to lie and when she is confronted, she just lies more. I’ve tried everything from extreme punishment to ignoring the problem. I’m afraid one day she will end up in prison. Please advise me.…
Read MoreShould a child’s personality be considered when disciplining?
Question: We ought to consider our children’s personalities and characters when we seek to discipline them. What works well for one child may not work for another, even within the same family. Might spanking be a good form of discipline for one child, but ineffective or damaging to another? Are there some children who shouldn’t…
Read MoreDo I spank my child for telling me off?
Question: Just recently my child swore at me. Do I spank him? Answer: That your child should be punished for being disrespectful is obvious. Whether you choose to use spanking as the means is up to you. But leaving him unpunished will just encourage further disobedience in the future. “Because the sentence against an evil…
Read MoreRearing a Second Family
by Jim Sasser In our local paper last Sunday and Tuesday there were different articles and statistics concerning children that are being basically reared by their grandparents. This means that they are rearing a second family. I am fortunate enough to have 20 wonderful grandchildren. If an emergency should arise, even though my dear wife…
Read MoreMay Christians make use of denominationally sponsored preschools?
Question: In our area, we have many preschools and pre-kindergartens that are located in the buildings of different denominations. Some are government-funded and some are just private schools. These schools are like any other in that they are preparing the children for kindergarten. The only Bible teachings are just Bible stories being read and, of…
Read MoreShould I spank my boys for breaking a window?
Question: I have two twin boys, both aged 15. My wife and I both agree that the right way to parent is to spank when necessary with the rod. Recently they have been getting into a lot of trouble together, and yesterday they broke a window (whilst playing ball inside — forbidden in the house…
Read MoreHis Parents Were Too Strict
by Boyd Sellers Have you ever heard that statement? You’ll see some scraggly kid who cares about nothing and nobody, who has long ago left the Lord (though he may have been faithfully “going to church”), and who has literally broken his parents’ hearts. You ask a friend, “What happened to him?” And he answers,…
Read MoreHow do you handle nosy neighbors’ questions about spanking?
Question: I have greatly enjoyed all the information and insights that you share on this page. My husband and I are raising three sons. We use spanking as one of our disciplinary tools with the boys, especially for the 3 Ds – deliberate disobedience, disrespect, and dishonesty. Recently one of my sons was in some…
Read MoreFamily Time Together Is Essential
by W. Frank Walton in Biblical Insights, Vol. 5, No. 8, August 2005 Time together is the bonding mortar that binds family members together before God in love Giving Thanks Psalm 107 “Hear, my son, and accept My sayings and the years of your life will be many. I have directed you in the way of…
Read MoreI attempted to spank my stepson, but I think I mishandled it. What should I have done?
Question: I am so glad I found this website. Please let me introduce myself. I am the stepmother of a teenage boy. I take Christianity and the teachings of Jesus very seriously. I recently married my long-time partner, Jim (the boy’s father), and am now officially his stepmother. A few days ago I walked into my…
Read MoreShould I go ahead and spank my son?
Question: How are you doing? I wrote to you about three years ago about our two sons. Well, now the oldest is 16 and just received his license. Our youngest son is 11. We had implemented spanking and following God’s word on the matter. After the first couple of years of talking and seeking your…
Read MoreWould Jesus spank a child?
Question: Do you honestly believe that Jesus would spank a child? Children are precious, wonderful human beings, and it is our duty to raise them lovingly. Reading through your question and answer sections concerning child-rearing and spanking, I was motivated to write to you. Your answers are usually wise and sometimes give sufficient answers to…
Read MoreCan I correspond with you regarding parenting issues?
Question: I had stumbled across your web site and just wanted to say how impressed I am with the site. It is very nice to see a site that follows the biblical principles and yet handles many of the tough contemporary issues that we are facing today. My hat’s off to you. I admire your…
Read MoreOur son started doing poorly in school
Question: I have a serious problem with my oldest son who is 17. My wife and I have raised him in church and he attends a Christian school. This past semester, he led us to believe he was doing all right in school. I received his report card and he has two failing grades. My…
Read MoreHow much sleep do teenagers need? I can’t seem to get mine to wake up in the morning
Question: I have heard varying studies on the amount of sleep that kids, and even adults, need to function in the day. My two remaining children are not morning people unless there is something they really want to do! I really think they may need more sleep. In contemplating how to make this year go…
Read MoreI think I’m being too controlling
Question: My being too controlling on the kids is generally directed toward my eldest. He is a great child: very respectful, wins awards for citizenship, and all the teachers adore him and praise him. My problem is I snap at him for anything. Instead of being able to let it roll off, I have to…
Read MoreWhat do we do about a son who failed his college classes and lied to hide the fact?
Question: I am writing for advice on my son who is 18. He went away to college which my wife and I help pay for, in addition to a scholarship he obtained at the Christian college. He finished up this semester but failed two classes. He has a chance to earn the credits back if…
Read MoreHow do I punish a child who is now bigger than me?
Question: I have been struggling with the issue of discipline with our older two children. Traditionally, in our family, when a child reaches age twelve it is generally assumed that they are too old to be spanked and other punishments, such as grounding, are used. Our son is sixteen and beginning to show tremendous disrespect.…
Read MoreHow do I appropriately discipline my sons?
Question: First, let me say that I’m glad I found your site and I appreciate your parenting advice. I am a widower with two teenage sons – 17 going on 18 and 14 going on 15. I’ve to come to the point where I need to make some decisions about discipline in our household and…
Read MoreWhen should a teenager start buying his own toiletries?
Question: When should a teenager start buying his own toiletries? Answer: When a teenager has cosmetics, soaps, shampoos, shaving cream, etc. that he wants of a specific brand and desires to use exclusively, then it is time to start purchasing them on his own. For example, if he uses the same shampoo that most of…
Read MoreI have a teenager who would sleep in bed all day if I let him
Question: I have a sixteen-year-old boy who would just about spend all day in bed if I let him. He claims he needs twelve to fifteen hours of sleep each day, but I think something else is going on. Any advice? Answer: During a child’s growth spurt, their bodies do need more sleep, but typically…
Read MoreWhen is a child old enough to explain concepts like rape that appear in a story?
Question: I have a 10-year-old son who is being homeschooled. He is in a Medieval, Reformation, and Renaissance unit and will be reading a version of The Canterbury Tales that has been translated into modern English by Barbara Cohen. In this book, specifically in “The Wife of Bath’s Tale” there is a knight who rapes…
Read MoreWhat should be the punishment for breaking a window accidentally?
Question: I have two twin boys, both aged 15. My wife and I both agree that the right way to parent is to spank when necessary with the rod. Recently they have been getting into a lot of trouble together, and yesterday they broke a window (whilst playing ball inside — forbidden in the house…
Read MoreMy daughter is moody and depressed
Question: I am in desperate need of information to help my teenage daughter. She is struggling with self-esteem issues and the like — all of your normal teenage troubles. Now she is showing some signs of depression. She is 13. I have just spent the last two hours talking with her, and I thought it…
Read MoreShould we tell our children not to mention to other people that they get spanked?
Question: I have greatly enjoyed all the information and insights that you share on this page. My husband and I are raising three sons. We use spanking as one of our disciplinary tools with the boys, especially for the 3 Ds – deliberate disobedience, disrespect, and dishonesty. Recently one of my sons was in some…
Read MoreMy 11-year-old son is becoming overly dramatic and moody
Question: I am emailing you because you always have great advice for so many situations. I am having a hard time with my 11-year-old son. I am beginning to contemplate sending him to public school. Last year was the worst year we have had. I am fearing this year is going to be just as…
Read MoreOur nine-year-old is seeking boys’ attention by letting her underwear show
Question: We are a dresses-only family. My daughter is (deliberately?) not careful when running and playing and her underwear is showing. She has lost some of her treasured outfits. We raise her to dress very modestly. Last time she was on the swings during a church picnic seeking the boys’ attention. Other parents noticed. I’m…
Read MoreThings are improving in our home, but it is going so slowly!
Question: Thank you! Our home is slowly changing from a battle zone to a loving home. We still struggle, basically, since our 9-year-old acts like a 3 to 5-year-old, then I think she should have 3 to 5-year-old freedoms and choices. These will be earned back as she learns self-control and respect. I’m really needing…
Read MoreShould I force my 14-year-old son to work even if he doesn’t feel comfortable?
Question: Should I force my 14-year-old son to work even if he doesn’t feel comfortable? Answer: Oh, the poor thing! It is so hard to be motivated when you don’t feel like working, isn’t it? Why don’t you set him a great example: when the alarm clock rings tomorrow morning, instead of dragging yourself out…
Read MoreShould spankings only be done on the bottom?
Question: We have three boys 8,10 and 12. Of late they have become very defiant. We have read your web site and decided to spank. While being spanked they kick their legs and refuse to stay still. Should we swat them on the back of the legs to stop this, or is the bottom the…
Read MoreMy son continues to backtalk us and punches his younger brother
Question: I just wanted to say thanks for contending for the faith, in relation to the person who wrote you against the Bible. I need further help with my son, who is 14. My wife and I have set the punishment for disobedience for both our sons. In addition to moving along if there are…
Read MoreI discovered one of my stepsons is looking at pornography
Question: I recently discovered that at least one of my stepsons had downloaded pornography on their computer, which is in their shared bedroom. The fourteen-year-old seems to be the guilty culprit, but he won’t own up. The twelve-year-old says it wasn’t him, and I believe him. The law says I’m within my right to beat…
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