Should I marry my fiance, who is not a practicing Christian?


Should I marry my fiancé?

My fiancé and I have been dating for 7 years. I was 17 when I met him and living a worldly life (partying, drinking, smoking, cursing)

I entered my relationship with my current fiancé because he answered this question: “Are you Christian?” and his answer was "yes." He grew up going to church and studying the Bible. I thought this was enough and the best answer at that time.

Recently, I started going to church after three years of not attending. I reconciled with God and accepted Christ into my life. I then told my boyfriend that I couldn’t continue in this relationship if we continued to have sex outside of marriage. I told him that I am taking my relationship with Christ very seriously. I started living like I was a Christian.

Two months after that conversation, he proposed and I said yes. Now I am afraid of marrying him because I am afraid of not being aligned and making a mistake. He’s a good guy, but he doesn’t worship God, go to church, or practice a Christian life. He says that you don’t have to go to church to have a relationship with God, but states he is willing to go with me on Sundays. Will God bless my marriage if I marry him?

My overall question is: Should I marry my fiancé and if I should not, should I state the reason why?


Your last question left me puzzled. Why would a Christian avoid stating that following Christ fully is important and that she wants a man who is committed to Christ and not playing the part?

"Therefore everyone who confesses Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven. Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's enemies will be the members of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me" (Matthew 10:32-38).

You've grown a lot over the last few years and your fiance has not. Therefore, the question you have to ask yourself is: How important to you is having a dedicated Christian as your husband? There are Christians who are married to non-Christians. Some remain faithful but have a difficult life. Others fall back into the world because of the stresses that result. Your fiance is not opposed to the Christian life, but he doesn't live it. If you are willing to work at being a Christian without your husband's support, you might make it work. There is always the possibility that you'll lead your husband to Christ. "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior" (I Peter 3:1-2). But keep in mind that you will be choosing a harder life.

You also have to realize that your husband won't be much help in raising religiously minded children. It is likely that your children may not grow up to be strong Christians as they imitate your husband's lax attitude.

Ultimately, I can't make the decision for you. That is one you have to make on your own. I can only point out the difficulties that I know exist. God never said He would hold it against a Christian for marrying someone who is disobedient to Christ. Any trouble in the future will not come from Him but from the people you have in your life.

It sounds to me that you need to have a heart-to-heart talk about your concerns -- both the present ones and the ones you foresee impacting your marriage in the future.

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