Sex and Sanctification

by David Diestelkamp
via Think on These Things, Vol. 56, No. 1, January-March 2025

Although it is hard to establish accurately, it appears that, of those marrying today for the first time, only between 3% and 10% are virgins. The vast majority of singles are sexually active. Christians are not immune to sexual temptation, but they do have something special to use in the battle against sexual immorality.

The CDC’s National Health Statistics Reports (2023) said that about 40% of never-married teens (15-19) had sexual intercourse with someone of the opposite sex. However, the number increased to over 60% for ages 18-19. A 2015 survey reported that 90% of the population had lost their virginity by age 22. Sexual experimentation is happening now in grade school. Social media debates are about whether to “hook up” after the first date. Low “body counts” (total number of sexual partners) are mocked. Popular media flaunts casual sex as normal and expected. Access to pornography is easy, and use of it is rampant. What can we do?

Some have made the mistake of attempting a less spiritual, more carnal approach to resisting sexual temptation and cultural pressures. We preach physical self-control and “just be strong.”

• “You might get a disease or have an unwanted pregnancy.”
• “Pre-marital sex may make you less desirable to a marriage partner or increase the risk of divorce.”
• “You may have psychological issues, sexual dysfunction, or various sexual addictions.”

These reasons to abstain, and others like them, are generally inadequate. Anecdotally, people know that these things don’t always happen to people who have sex before marriage. And, in the heat of the moment, people don’t tend to think or care about them.

Saying “Be strong!” is not as effective as being “strong in the Lord and in the power of His might” (Ephesians 6:10). Arousing fear of physical consequences may get the attention of some people. Still, it is more fearful to “fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31). Possible negative physical consequences may give some needed pause. Still, sin’s spiritual consequence is a “certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries” (Hebrews 10:27).

When Paul wrote, “Flee sexual immorality,” he stated the reason as being that our bodies are the “temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own” (I Corinthians 6:19). This isn’t about having willpower and personal strength. We were “washed,” “sanctified,” and “justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God” (I Corinthians 6:11). He has made us—body and spirit—one with Christ. He has changed who and what we are. We are Christ-followers; Christ decides who we are joined to and who we are one flesh with.

• Our bodies don’t decide.
• Our culture doesn’t decide.
• The media outlets don’t decide.
• Who we are dating doesn’t decide.
• The heat of the moment doesn’t decide.

We must be constantly reminded that sanctification makes us different from others and even from who we used to be. People will think it is strange “when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they malign you” (I Peter 4:4). Friends will be lost, relationships will end, and disparaging labels will be applied. That’s what happened to Jesus, and if it happened to Him, it will happen to those He sanctifies as His own (John 15:20; I Peter 4:12-14).

• Of course, we are strange – we are strangers and exiles (Hebrews 11:13; I Peter 2:11).
• Of course, we are different – we are set apart to God (I Peter 2:9).
• Of course, we emphasize the spiritual over the physical – God is spirit, and our focus is spirit and truth (John 4:24).
• Of course, God has the say in what we do with our bodies – our bodies are members of Christ (I Corinthians 6:15).
• Of course, sanctification touches sexuality – we are joined to the Lord and are one spirit with Him (I Corinthians 6:17).
• Of course, we belong to the Lord – “You were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (I Corinthians 6:20 ESV).

The good news of the gospel is that in Christ, we overcome temptation by following Christ. We are not alone (II Timothy 4:16). We don’t have to follow the world into sexual immorality. We can be the 3% who are virgins. The even better good news is that if, like the Corinthians, we are sexually immoral, we can stop, turn to Jesus, and be washed, sanctified, and justified in His blood. We can be saints again. Living in sanctification is the real solution to sexual temptation and sin.