How do I not feel empty and missing my old life?
Question:
Hello,
I have been a Christian for a while, and I feel sad and depressed sometimes. All the things I used to enjoy doing I can no longer do anymore, like sex, porn, smoking, drinking, and even going out with some friends. I still desire to do these things and sometimes feel empty without them. What can I do to not feel this way?
Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.
Answer:
"So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart; and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth" (Ephesians 4:17-24).
Would you mind if I asked you a question? Why did you choose to follow Christ? I would assume that some aspects of your former life were ruining you. You wanted better results and better hope for the future. You don't move forward by longing for what you left behind.
Since you deal with depression, you used various sins to distract yourself. Each sin gave momentary pleasure or numbed you to life. They were an escape from your depression. However, none of them solve the problems. If anything, they made your depression worse. In the quote from Ephesians given earlier, Paul points out that being a Christian is more than removing sin from your life. You have to replace bad habits with good ones.
You could look at Christianity as a bunch of prohibitions, but in doing so, you miss gift that Christianity is. "Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. For this, "You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not covet," and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law" (Romans 13:8-10). By its very nature, sin is selfish. The sinner is focused on his desires. Righteousness is focused on God and others, and the driving force behind it is your love for God and people. Thus, here is one way out of depression: start focusing on others. You can start small and get a puppy to raise. Use what you learn and look for opportunities to help people.
Response:
First, thank you so much for the sound biblical teaching. I will definitely take it to heart and put it into practice.
Next, to answer your question: I obeyed the gospel when I was about 15 years old. Then I grew up and started getting into things I shouldn't have, as I mentioned before. I still went to church, but my mind and heart were focused on other things. When I moved out from my parents, it only got worse. I started going to church less and less, going out more, staying up later, and so on. It got to a point where I would make it to church maybe once a month. Eventually, some bad stuff happened that slowly led me back to Christ and the lifestyle I should be living. I asked for repentance from the church and worked on doing better. I eventually got rebaptized just because I didn't think I fully understood what I was committing to.
Last, I am now trying to find happiness in Christ without doing those things. Hopefully, that helped with some more details.
Thank you again.
