It is complicated, but we have to live together for a while longer before we can get married



Before I begin, let me get a few things straight. We (my girlfriend and I) are not Americans. We are Asians living in an Asian country, and we have been in a relationship for three years. We are both adults and in a situation where it's rather complicated and that it requires us to live together.

We are from Christian families but we ourselves weren't devout Christians in the beginning. However, recently we have become closer and more committed to God. We have confessed the sins we have done prior to becoming born again. One of those sins was having an almost sexual relationship, i.e. oral sex. We understand that that is still considered a sin, so we have confessed to God and asked for forgiveness. Currently, we have abstained from all sexual intimacy, since we are not married, and we want to be holy in the eyes of God.

But the problem is, we still have to live together for another 11 months due to our complicated circumstances. Just to be clear, I am planning to marry my girlfriend once we are out of this situation. But right now, we are not sure what to do and whether or not it is possible to make it right in the eyes of God. We will do our very best, with God's guidance, to remain as holy as we can. We understand that we have sinned.

Please help us. Thank you and God bless.


It is good to hear that you are trying to become faithful Christians.

In every case where someone told me that it was too complicated to follow God's teachings at the moment, I have found the complications were of the person's own making. True, sometimes following God may temporarily make life a bit more difficult. As an example, a person may avoid marriage because he is in school and his parents said they would stop paying for school if he gets married. It may mean that he will need to both work and go to school. There will be almost no free time for a while, but it isn't impossible, just temporarily inconvenient.

I don't know your particular situation, but if you must live with the woman you desire to marry, the proper course is to get married. "But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:8-9). In every country, there is a way to have an inexpensive marriage, which can be followed at a later time with an expensive wedding if that is what you desire.

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