Is the use of sex toys sinful?
Question:
Are sexual toys, or other things to excite sex sinful? For example, if a woman isn’t being pleased by her spouse, could she use sex toys to provide her the pleasure she desires (and vice versa for the husband)?
What about sex toys being used by singles?
Answer:
I can't think of any passage for or against the use of artificial means of sexual stimulation. There are related issues that do need to be considered.
First, all aspects of sex belong inside marriage (Hebrews 13:4). The use of sexual toys between people who are not married would be wrong because it is engaging in foreplay when the two are not married.
Second, there is the problem of the source. Places that sell these types of things are usually connected with pornography and the like. It would not be proper for Christians to shop at such places. The fact that such devices are sold in these kinds of places should be a warning signal that something isn't quite right about the concept.
Third, there is a danger that priority is being given to personal pleasure. When people pursue pleasure, they tend to get distracted from matters of righteousness. This can particularly be a problem with singles. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God" (I Thessalonians 4:3-5). The pursuit of sexual passion is not what being a Christian is about. I have trouble thinking of a situation where a single person would need a sexual toy for anything more than a pure pursuit of passion.
On a related theme, there is a danger that a person becomes dependent on the sex toy in order to enjoy sex. This can be harmful when the single person marries or for the married couple. Sex is designed to satisfy a need between a married couple. "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does" (I Corinthians 7:3-4). The use of a sex toy can lead to satisfaction without the need of a partner.
Except in cases where physical damage causes one partner in a marriage to be unable to give sex to the other, I can't see any usefulness to such devices. It would be better for a couple to learn how to better satisfy their partner's desires and for their partners to learn to have satisfaction in what their partner can give.
Response:
I appreciate it. I had a friend ask me that question last night and I felt like a deer stuck in headlights. I have to say I begin to question it because I too couldn’t think up much in regards to Scripture passages directly related to the topic.
Her case, I guess, is a little different because she was married, but her husband cheated on her, and she ended up having the sexual devices leftover, “I am guessing,” and explained that her desires were greater. She wanted to know if she could use them.
In a way, you can kind of see why the world is so corrupt in a sense because people feel like they can satisfy themselves and not need anyone else. But the truth is God made us to be with someone; we just need to choose the right one to be with.
At work, there are always folks talking about them going to each other’s “sex parties” and even folks who have friends who make good money by selling the things.
It really would be a hard place for a couple who suffered from a physical cause.
