Is kissing and fondling my boyfriend fornication?

Question:

My boyfriend and I indulge in kissing and fondling only. Could this be fornication?

Answer:

The Bible states that sexual touching is not right prior to marriage. "Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman" (I Corinthians 7:1). The reason is simple, such touching arouses passion which can lead to sexual sin. "Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; whoever touches her shall not be innocent" (Proverbs 6:29). Though this passage is talking about adultery, the overall point remains the same. Let us assume for the moment that despite your intentions, several months from now you slip up, give in to temptation, and have sex. Would anyone say that it would be an innocent "accident?" Ask anyone on the street and people will say that it is an "accident" waiting to happen and that deep down you know it.

When it comes to sin, we are not supposed to see how close to the line we can come without crossing over. A Christian's response to sin is to flee from sin. "Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (II Timothy 2:22). Two unmarried young people fondling each other is not fleeing lust; it is promoting lust. "Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body" (I Corinthians 6:18).

If you think you are different, that you are strong enough to resist Satan's devices, then ask yourself: "After you are married and you have a daughter, will you be expecting her to fondle her boyfriend so long as she promises "nothing" will happen?" Will you expect your sisters to see your example and then start fondling their boyfriends? The problem is that each of us leaves examples for others to follow. Others at church, will look at you and say, well if they can do it, we can as well -- but they probably won't have the commitment that is driving your brother and his girlfriend. "Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity" (I Timothy 4:2). The example you leave will lead others into sin.

Kissing and fondling in itself is not fornication, but that doesn't imply that it is proper for Christians to engage in those things. Sexually arousing touching is also a sin.

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