Is it realistic to pray that the man I want to be the father of my child had actually gotten me pregnant?
Question:
My boyfriend and I have been on and off. We both were having sex with other people, but we decided to stop and be together. We asked God to forgive us and we moved on. A few days before we got back together I had sex with someone else and I got pregnant. I do not want this guy to be my child's father, and he says he pulled out before ejaculating, but there is a chance his pre-cum could have been inside me. The one I want to be my child's father did ejaculate inside of me the day after I had sex with the other guy. I know we have not been respected our bodies as the temple of God. I asked God to forgive me. I know He forgave me and now I'm asking Him to let the guy that I truly love to be the father of my baby and I feel that He will answer my prayer. Is my prayer realistic?
Answer:
First, let's cover the practical matters. Home pregnancy tests are not accurate until two to three weeks after you have conceived. Conception can only take place for the 24-hour period after you release an egg, which comes two weeks before the beginning of your next period. A man's sperm can survive for up to six days in your body, so any sex in the six days up to and including the day you ovulate can result in a pregnancy. Therefore, unless you have done a DNA test, either man could have been the sperm donor.
Even when a man withdraws or pulls out before ejaculation, there is still a risk of pregnancy. Men drip pre-ejaculate (pre-cum) when strong aroused and that fluid can contain sperm. Normally a man releases about 500 million sperm in an ejaculation, but only one sperm is needed to cause a pregnancy. The larger number only increases the odds that one of those sperm cells will reach an egg cell. To give you an idea, if 100 couples were having sex regularly, in one year 85 of them would have conceived a child. If these same couples practiced the withdrawal method, in one year 19 of them would have conceived a child. Therefore, the man's claim that he withdrew does not eliminate the possibility that it was his sperm that reached the egg. Depending on the timing, it was more likely the second man, but there is no guarantee.
More troubling is that both you and the person you claim to love have had multiple sex partners. This has exposed both of you to large numbers of sexually transmitted diseases. Many of those diseases could affect the development of the baby, so if you have not done so yet, you need to see a doctor and make sure you don't have any diseases or if you do that they are dealt with quickly.
Now, because of the way you are wording things, I must assume that you have not married the man you hope fathered your child. You claim you have repented, but are living with a man to whom you are not married. In what way have you turned from your sins? Fornication isn't wrong because of the number of sexual partners you have. It is wrong because you are having sex with someone who is not your husband. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). Repentance means turning away from your sins and repentance is required before sins are forgiven. Paul taught people "that they should repent, turn to God, and do works befitting repentance" (Acts 26:20), something you have not done. You might claim to "know" that God forgave you, but God has said otherwise.
And think about how foolish you've been in having sex, not just with someone you did not marry, but with a man whom you don't want to be involved in your child's life. What were you thinking of? God knew very well why sex only belongs in marriage. Your particular situation further proves He is always right.
If you want to straighten out this mess and gain forgiveness, go down to the county courthouse and get married. If you can't do it right away, move out for a while until it does happen. Only when you are willing to give up your sin should you approach God and ask for His forgiveness. By the way, the right to pray for forgiveness is something God has granted to His people (I John 1:8-10). If you have not become a child a God then that must be done first and in the process, you will wash away your old sins (Acts 22:16). "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God" (I Corinthians 6:9-11).
The laws in most countries, including the United States, state that the man to whom you are married at the birth of your child is the father of your child. Who actually donated the sperm is not an issue. So correcting your sinful situation will solve this problem as well.
