I don’t trust my boyfriend enough to marry him
Question:
I grew up in a Christian family. I did choose to be baptized at age of 11 or 12, but now that I'm older I find myself reading the Bible for my understanding and find myself in a tough situation that will cause me to not inherit the kingdom of heaven. For this reason, I'm been working on my sins, like my anger, and I no longer drink. Yes, I lie, and I pray for forgiveness and ask God to help me not to. But the main thing that gets me is that I'm living in fornication. I have a three-year-old out of wedlock with my boyfriend, which is a huge sin. I was cheated on by him, so I'm scared to marry him. I told him I don't believe in marriage, which I do just not with an unfaithful person. After reading the Bible I understand why we must marry and the consequences of my action, so what am I to do? I want my daughter to be raised by both her mother and father. Plus I got sick and lost my job, so he's our main support, but he said he will never get married. I need prayer. I have trust issues because he cheated on me, I'm living in sin and I'm stuck; plus, I've been sick and the doctors don't really know what it is. My family's prayers and my own are what get me by. I'm scared that I might die in this sin and scared to die.
Answer:
You need to make up your mind. Right now you are trying to live a worldly life and hope that you'll reach heaven. It just doesn't work that way. Once you decide that you are going to serve God, then the choices become clear. Things like lying and fornication are not an option. Living with a man you are not married to is out of the question because that leads to fornication.
I'm sorry that you are ill, but that is not a factor in making moral decisions. The answer remains the same whether you are sick or not.
You can tell your boyfriend the truth. You have decided that following God is more important, so either the two of you get married, or you'll be moving back home.
I know you claim that you don't trust your boyfriend, but your life says the opposite. You live with him. You let him pay your bills. Yes, what sinning with you, he also sinned with someone else -- I'm not surprised. I'm more curious why you think living with someone without the commitment of marriage becomes a commitment. This is what Jesus meant when he said, "For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye" (Matthew 7:3-5). Complaining about someone's sin that you are committing with him at the same time doesn't make sense.
