I Don’t Love Her Any More

by Greg Gwin

A forty-year-old man, suffering through the classic "mid-life crisis," sat down to talk to a preacher about his problems. He explained how his marriage of 20 years was no longer satisfying or fulfilling. Finally, he reached the 'bottom line.' "I just don't love her anymore", he said. "What can I do?"

After a brief moment of reflection, the preacher said decisively, "As I see it, you have only one option." The man perked up with anticipation. Was the preacher going to suggest divorce? Would he be free to pursue the thrilling lifestyle of the younger generation that he had come to admire? Would this be his chance to regain his fleeting youth? What was the preacher's advice? "Seems to me that the only thing left for you to do is repent and start loving her again."

So often we hear of married couples who complain that they have "fallen out of love." That's sad - but it happens. The real issue is: What do you do when you realize that such a situation exists? The Bible still says the same thing that it has always said. Husbands are to "love your wives" (Ephesians 5:25), and wives are to "love their husbands" (Titus 2:4).

Please note that these are not just suggestions - they are commands. To fail to love your mate is to commit sin! And sin always requires repentance if there is to be forgiveness. Be careful. Do not confuse this commanded love with the gooey, silly infatuation of a teenager. It is far more than that. It is a sacrificial love that seeks the interest of the one loved more than himself. It is the kind of love that Jesus has shown to us (Ephesians 5:25).