Did I vow not to make promises?
Question:
I’m worried that I vowed to God not to make promises. Now I was talking to God, and then in the heat of the moment, I said, “I do not want to make vows,” only I didn’t say that fully, and I’m pretty sure I cut myself off halfway and said, "No vow." I had the thought of simply not making vows. (And I'm not sure if I cut myself off the moment I had that thought or not) But now I’m worried that I can’t make vows. This is because I want to get married, and I’m pretty sure marriage requires vows to make it official. But what truly worries me is my state of mind while saying it. I was at peace, and I'm pretty sure I was happy while saying it, which makes me feel scared. This is because verses like II Corinthians 9:7 say that each person must give what they purpose in their heart, not begrudgingly or under compulsion, because the Lord loves a cheerful giver, and I’m scared that I'm that cheerful giver. I did not intend to give up my ability to marry. I do not know what to do. Please help me.
Answer:
You're suffering from scrupulosity, a form of OCD that revolves around religious topics. Notice that you are worried about what you might have done. You treat religion as if it is a set of rituals. See: I have OCD-Religion and obsess over bad thoughts. Is there anything you can do to help me?
You have decided that your thoughts override what God has said. Jesus said, "But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil" (Matthew 5:37). A person doesn't need vows or promises to make their statements true or sincere. God doesn't want you to lie, yet many people hide their intentions to lie behind vows. That angers God because His name is being used to deceive others.
It doesn't matter what you vow; it doesn't change what God said. Thus, if you had vowed not to make promises, you contradict what God said since, as you noted, vows are required for marriage and other aspects of life (such as in courts). "Or if a person swears thoughtlessly with his lips to do evil or to do good, in whatever matter a man may speak thoughtlessly with an oath, and it is hidden from him, and then he comes to know it, he will be guilty in one of these" (Leviticus 5:4).
Vowing to do good is useless. God already commands good. Your vows cannot make good better. Vowing to do evil putting yourself against God, which is sinful.
If you think you made a thoughtless vow, apologize to God and move on with your life.
