I have OCD-Religion and obsess over bad thoughts. Is there anything you can do to help me?

Answer:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

Your description definitely sounds like a classic case of scrupulosity, which is the older term for being obsessive-compulsive in matters of religion.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in General

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) afflicts about 2.5% of the population over a lifetime.¹ Most of those afflicted with the problem have an irrational fear generated by intrusive thoughts, which they attempt to manage by some compulsive or ritual behavior. Even those suffering from OCD understand that their fear isn't reasonable, but they have difficulty managing it. But notice that there are two halves to the problem, a fear, and a response. The responsive behavior might or might not be related to the fear, it is more a way that the person finds "comfort" so as to manage the anxiety. Treatment of OCD focuses on both halves.

First, the person has to realize that their anxiety is not really a part of them. They have a short-circuit in their brain's wiring that makes odd thoughts pop-up in their minds. Actually, it is believed that all people have odd thoughts pop-up, but for the OCD person, those thoughts are given great significance. They begin judging themselves for having those thoughts, deciding they must be bad for having them. It is important to understand that most OCD sufferers do not like or enjoy the intruding thoughts. They fear that because those thoughts come that it indicates that it might be true about them. People without OCD have odd thoughts pop up and quickly dismiss them as being irrelevant to who they are. OCD people can't let go of the thoughts.

The odd thing about the way the human brain works is if something is accepted, we tend to forget about it quickly. An example of this is to try and meditate on the image of say a moose for five minutes or more. Very quickly your mind wanders off onto other topics. It becomes a struggle to keep the image in your mind. But if we try to force ourselves to forget something, that image keeps worming its way back into our conscience. Again, if I ask you to focus on not thinking about a moose, it will keep popping up in your mind.

Therefore, the first difficult task is to embrace the thought. Things that trigger the thought are purposely invoked so that the person's anxiety about the thought can be dealt with. Repeated exposure deadens the feelings that accompany the thought.³

The second task is related and that is to break the compulsive response to the anxiety. A person faces his fear and then doesn't do what he typically does to "control" his anxiety.

It should be noted that OCD is managed. It typically doesn't go away. Instead, the person learns how to properly view their intrusive thoughts, not to get anxious over them, and how to keep from lapsing into compulsive behavior. Flare-ups often reoccur at odd times and often the OCD manifests itself in a different way.

Religious Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders

When OCD and religion intermix, the results are more difficult to deal with. The intrusive thoughts are known to be bad or sinful, and so a person becomes highly judgmental about the type of person he must be for having such thoughts. Dr. Frank Penzel notes:

Religious obsessions can take on any of the following forms:

• That the person has sinned or broken a religious law, or displeased their god in some way, either in the past or present, and may therefore go to hell or receive some other punishment
• That prayers have been omitted or recited incorrectly
• Repetitive blasphemous thoughts
• Thoughts about impulsively saying blasphemous words or committing blasphemous acts while attending religious services
• That the person has lost touch with God or their beliefs in some way
• Thoughts of being "unworthy" of salvation in some way
• Intrusive sexual thoughts about God, saints, religious figures, etc.
• That the person, through negligence, has broken religious laws concerning speech, dress, food preparation, modesty, etc.
• Intrusive "bad" thoughts or images that occur during prayer, meditation, or other observances that "contaminate" and ruin or cancel out the value of these activities
• Believing that one's religious practice must be 100% perfect, or else it is worthless or worse
• Thoughts of being possessed⁴

Often the thoughts are countered with religious activities. Dr. Frank Penzel lists the following:

Some typical compulsions that are used in response to religious obsessions might include:

• Saying prayers, or carrying out religious acts repetitively until they are done 'perfectly (a process that can last for hours)
• Saying prayers or crossing oneself a special "magical" number of times
• Constantly asking for God's forgiveness, or telling God that you didn't mean what you said or did
• Rereading passages from holy books over and over to make sure nothing was misunderstood or missed
• Repeatedly asking religious leaders or authorities the same questions on religious practice to be sure of understanding the answer, or to get reassurance about specific acts or words being sinful
• Double-checking different religious acts or observances to be sure they were done correctly
• Repeatedly reviewing past thoughts or actions to determine if they were sinful or not
• Protecting religious symbols, ornaments, books, or pictures from "contamination"
• Constantly reviewing one's own words or phrases for double meanings that might have been irreligious or blasphemous
• Trying to imagine special "good" religious images or thoughts to cancel out "bad" and irreligious images or thoughts
• When any activity was performed with a blasphemous thought in mind, having to redo it with a "good" thought
• Excessive confessing of religious misdeeds or sinful behaviors to obtain forgiveness or reassurance
• Having to carry out religious dietary, dress, or appearance codes perfectly

This list by no means exhausts the possibilities.  They are almost endless. ⁴

But as Paul noted, such man-made solutions don't work. "Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations-- "Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle," which all concern things which perish with the using -- according to the commandments and doctrines of men? These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh" (Colossians 2:20-23).

Treatment of religious OCD is a bit more difficult because it borders on the truth yet is twisted.

Recall that OCD sufferers put too much emphasis on intrusive thoughts. This can manifest itself in a variety of ways according to Laurie Krauth.⁵

A person might convince himself that having a bad thought is just as bad as actually doing something sinful. Actually, this is a warping of Jesus' statement, "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). Jesus didn't say if you had a passing thought about a woman (a temptation) that it was the same as committing adultery. He said that if a person looks to lust for a woman has committed adultery in his heart. In other words, when a person contemplates the idea, accepts it as something they want to do, and only lacks the opportunity to do it, then it is little different from actually doing the sin. That is a key difference from most OCD people and other people as well. When we are faced with a thought about sin, our gut reaction is to reject the thought -- that isn't lust!

A variation on this is that a person might convince himself that having a bad thought will lead to the actual action. They discount the fact that they don't like the thought. They don't realize that their hatred of the sin will produce the opposite effect -- they will be less likely to commit such a sin. "I will set nothing wicked before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me. A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will not know wickedness" (Psalm 103:3-4).

The result leads to irrational thinking (again from Laurie Krauth):

• Control of thoughts: When people try to control their thoughts, they usually find the thoughts become harder to prevent. (Try that old experiment: first attempt to think about a brown bear for five minutes, noticing how often your mind drifts. Then try not to think of it for five minutes. You discover that a thought becomes more tenacious when you try to stifle it.) Scrupulosity sufferers are distraught that inappropriate thoughts enter their mind. Instead of dismissing them with a shrug as people without OCD do, they become horrified that they had the thoughts at all and try to stifle them, which has the opposite effect.

• Intolerance of uncertainty:  Sufferers need to know absolutely that they are morally or religiously in the right because they believe that the consequences, such as eternal damnation, will be severe if they are wrong. For example, when John tried to reassure himself that he was good, it led to over-analysis of his past thoughts and deeds, paralysis, and senseless rituals and avoidance.

• Emotional reasoning: People with OCD think that if they feel something, it must be true, regardless of the evidence. So even though John knew he was committed to keeping his children safe, if his senseless harm obsessions worried him, he took that worry as evidence that they truly were in danger from him.

• All-or-nothing thinking: Scrupulosity sufferers believe that if they don’t practice their faith perfectly, they have failed. When John had a bad thought in church, it virtually wiped out the good in his otherwise constant devotion.⁵

The Solution

The solution is found in the passage I quoted at the beginning from Philippians 4:6-7.

First, you need to face your fears. Purposely expose yourself to the thoughts that trigger your anxiety. One method is to write out a script of your obsessive thought and what you fear will result. Record it and play it back repeatedly. This will get you use to the idea and allow you to actually consider it without your emotions getting in the way. After a while, you will get to the point that you realize it isn't a rational fear.

Then take it to God in prayer. Let God worry about it.

Next, be thankful! It is easy to get so focused on bad things that we forget all the blessings God has given us. If we really appreciate all of God's bounteous gifts, then you will realize that fears of God's rejection are really a lack of appreciation of God's love and faith in His promises. So start trying to enumerate God's blessings in your life and put life back into proper perspective.

The result will be peace, which is what we all need.

Resources:

1. Antony, M. M.; F. Downie & R. P. Swinson. "Diagnostic issues and epidemiology in obsessive-compulsive disorder". in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: Theory, Research, and Treatment, eds. M. M. Antony; S. Rachman; M. A. Richter & R. P. Swinson. New York: The Guilford Press, 1998, pp. 3-32.
2. Wikipedia: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders
3. Morelli, Frank; Obsessions Are Not the Real Problem, Change Your Thinking
4. Penzel, Fred; Let Him Who Is Without Sin: OCD and Religion
5. Krauth, Laurie; Scrupulosity: Blackmailed by OCD in the Name of God