Being a Conversationalist

Text: Romans 12:10-18


I.         A young lady wrote and asked, “How can you be a good conversationalist? I’m so boring. I don’t know how to strike up an interesting conversation.”

            A.        It is a good question because talking to people is something we just take for granted.

II.        Start by listening – really listening

            A.        The biggest mistake people make is thinking they have to say interesting things to have a good conversation.

            B.        James 1:19-20 - Swift to hear and slow to speak

            C.        In a conversation, only one person can speak at a time - Ecclesiastes 3:7

            D.        Allowing the other person to speak shows respect for the person - Romans 12:10

            E.        But so few people really listen. Most only hear what they want to hear.

                        1.         An example is the disciples - Mark 9:31-32

                        2.         Jesus’ words were clear, but the disciples couldn’t comprehend them because it wasn’t what they expected or wanted

            F.        Some only listen so long as they like what is being said - Acts 22:21-22

III.       Your attitude matters

            A.        Be cheerful

                        1.         Who enjoys talking to someone whose outlook on life is gloomy?

                        2.         Proverbs 17:22 - Cheerfulness does a person good.

                        3.         People will want to talk longer

            B.        Be encouraging

                        1.         Help people feel better - Proverbs 12:25

                        2.         Stir up love and good works - Hebrews 10:24

                        3.         Be kind and tenderhearted - Ephesians 4:32

            C.        Be interested

                        1.         Weep and rejoice with others - Romans 12:15

                        2.         Esteem others as better - Philippians 2:3-4

                        3.         Share burdens - Galatians 6:2

IV.      Consider your words

            A.        Don’t say everything that comes to mind

                        1.         Words can be a snare - Proverbs 18:7

                        2.         Spare your words and will appear wiser - Proverbs 17:27-28

            B.        Be choosy about your words - Colossians 4:6

                        1.         The wise man’s words are gracious - Ecclesiastes 10:12

                        2.         Benefits from well chosen words - Proverbs 16:21-24

                        3.         Words that benefit the hearer - Ephesians 4:29

            C.        Say things that help others - Proverbs 10:21; 15:7

            D.        Be careful of other people’s feelings

                        1.         Don’t spread a person’s faults - Proverbs 17:9

                        2.         Keep disagreements private - Proverbs 25:9

V.        Controlling the tongue is hard - James 3:2

            A.        Yet we must try

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