How do I find a wife?

Answer:

There is a lot to consider when choosing a wife. This answer will be long, but it won't cover everything you need to consider.

Choosing the right person matters (Proverbs 31:10). Who you choose can bring you joy or grief (Proverbs 12:4). God has given us guidelines, but they help only if we follow them.

Realize that when you have a good wife, you have re

1.         Seek help from God because a good wife is a gift from God - Proverbs 18:22; 19:14

2.         Do not place a priority on looks - Proverbs 31:30

3.         We should look as God does - I Peter 3:3-4

4.         Look for a woman with discretion - Proverbs 11:22

a.         Discretion is having good judgment. The ability to do the right thing at the right time.

b.         Men like to be seen as “heros” so they tend to pick women who need rescuing

c.         But a woman who constantly needs saving because of her poor choices doesn’t make a good wife

d.         It is one of the tactics some women use to snare men - Proverbs 9:13

5.         Look for a woman who is constructive and not destructive - Proverbs 14:1

6.         Avoid an argumentative (contentious) woman - Proverbs 27:15-16

a.         Such a woman is rarely pleased by what is around her, including you.

b.         Proverbs 21:9, 19

Giving thought for the future

A.        We tend to be rash or impulsive when we are young - Proverbs 19:2; 21:5

1.         But the typical couple, if they remain married will live together 50 years or more.

2.         We see the immediate pleasure and fun, but will it last?

3.         Often we mistake what we imagine to be reality

4.         Unaware of problems because there wasn’t enough time to notice them

B.        We tend to go with what is immediately available

1.         I often ask young people to decide who they would like to marry when they aren’t going with anyone and have no particular person in mind

2.         Over look problems, pretending they are not there or don’t matter

C.        We tend to think only about ourselves

1.         Is this the person I want raising my children?

D.        We tend to downplay dangers

1.         The reason to avoid mixed religion marriages - Nehemiah 13:23-27

2.         Most couples think, they can handle mixed religions – he’ll go one way and she another – until children come along

• https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/a-good-mate/

What a Man should look for

A.        Nurturing

1.         Most marriages end up with children - Psalm 127:3-5

2.         Wouldn’t it make sense to find a wife who loves children? - Titus 2:4

B.        A quiet spirit - I Peter 3:3-4

C.        Not looks or charm - Proverbs 31:30

 

• https://www.lavistachurchofchrist.org/cms/reasonable-risks/

But let’s look at one that doesn’t involve life or death decisions

A.        Abraham’s servant was sent to find a wife for Isaac - Genesis 24:2-4

B.        The servant minimized his risks by asking about the possibility of failure - Genesis 24:5-8

C.        When the servant arrived, he asked God for help - Genesis 24:12-14

1.         The actions he looked for are indications of an admirable character.

2.         A woman carrying a water jug shows someone who is strong and healthy.

3.         It also shows she is industrious.

4.         Giving a drink to a stranger who asks shows kindness and hospitality.

5.         Offering drinks to the rest of the travelers and watering the camels until they are satisfied shows a person who is not afraid of hard work and who is willing to go the extra mile. Ten camels after a long journey will drink a large quantity of water.

6.         All the events were not likely to happen without the Lord's intervention on behalf of the servant.

D.        The result was that Isaac quickly fell in love with Rebekah - Genesis 24:67

E.        Could this have failed? Of course!

1.         But it succeeded because of the willingness to take reasonable risks.

2.         It would not have succeed if all risks were avoided

IV.      Years ago, it became a fad to have rules of courtship

A.        A boy and girl were not allowed to be alone together. They took someone with them on dates.

B.        The boy had to ask the father for permission to date and later to marry his daughter.

C.        On the surface, all this sounds good. But it also was driven by a desire to eliminate all risks in finding a spouse

D.        However, it ended up limiting options. People married without really knowing what they were looking for in a spouse.

E.        Traditional dating carries more risks, but it actually results in better selection of a spouse

1.         It is not to be confused with the modern idea of dating

2.         One rule is that you don’t go out with the same person twice in a row.

a.         You need to know what kinds of people are available

b.         But the lack of exclusivity also keeps things from getting too serious too quickly.

c.         In other words, going out on a date was no big deal.

3.         Dating the same person multiple times in a row happens only after you are more certain that you might want to marry that person. It older terms, it is called “going steady.”

4.         There is actually less heartache because there is no early commitment

F.        Modern dating is seen as an immediate commitment

1.         It often leads people to thinking they can get sexually involved.

2.         It also ends up limiting your options because the thought is once you are dating one person, you cannot go on a date with anyone else.

3.         But in a sense, it is also avoiding risk. “I might not find another person, so I’ll lock on this person.”