My family says I can’t attend a church of Christ until after I get engaged
Question:
I am currently attending a Baptist church with my family, but I am dating someone who attends a church of Christ. We have been dating for some time now, and we have studied together a lot. We agree on several things that we used not to, such as once saved always saved being false, instruments shouldn’t be used in worship, and that women should not be preaching or leading services.
I would like to attend a church of Christ now because I think they do more right than my Baptist church does, but my family has said I can’t go to a church of Christ until I’m engaged. While I would like to go to a church of Christ, I don’t think I or my family will go to hell for attending a Baptist church, but my boyfriend does. What does the Bible say about this? Will God really send us to Hell over an instrument or not taking the Lord's Supper every week?
Secondly, I would like to inquire about the possibility of being rebaptized. In the past, I thought I was saved when I prayed to God to save me, and then I was baptized just because it is what the Lord wants us to do, but not because it was necessary to save me. Since studying, I now believe baptism is essential for salvation. My boyfriend says I need to be rebaptized properly, but I did what the Lord wanted me to, so I do not believe that I would need to be since I did do it for the Lord. What does the Bible say about this?
I want to do what is right in the eyes of God, but I also want to respect my family and can’t see them going to Hell. What should I do?
Answer:
Your obedience to what the Lord commands doesn't send your family to hell. My job is not to determine who goes to heaven or hell. My duty is to teach what the Lord commands. If someone disobeys God, he answers for his choices to God. "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad" (II Corinthians 5:10).
"The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son's iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself" (Ezekiel 18:20).
Thus, if you know that the Lord did not give authority to use instruments in worship, but you choose to do so anyway, then you are choosing to be disobedient. You can't use your family's approval of it as an excuse when you go before God. If you know that the Lord's Supper is to be taken each first day of the week, but you choose not to, then you are choosing to be disobedient. Jesus warned that those who wish to obey him will sometimes have to make hard choices. "For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's enemies will be the members of his household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me" (Matthew 10:35-37).
"It happened that while Apollos was at Corinth, Paul passed through the upper country and came to Ephesus, and found some disciples. He said to them, 'Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?' And they said to him, 'No, we have not even heard whether there is a Holy Spirit.' And he said, 'Into what then were you baptized?' And they said, 'Into John's baptism.' Paul said, 'John baptized with the baptism of repentance, telling the people to believe in Him who was coming after him, that is, in Jesus.' When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus" (Acts 19:1-5).
These people considered themselves to be disciples, but they had not been baptized for the proper purpose. They chose to be baptized again for the right reasons. Can you truly say that you did what the Lord wanted you to do when you had a different purpose in mind for your baptism?
The command, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right" (Ephesians 6:1), is for children, not adults. Once you are an adult, you have a duty to honor your parents, but that doesn't necessarily include obeying their every whim. (And telling you that you can attend another church after you are engaged is a whim because it isn't something God said.) The obedience of children to their parents is limited. It is only "in the Lord," that is, what your parents tell you to do must be acceptable to the Lord. If a parent tells his child to steal, the answer is "no" because stealing is against the Lord's command. You can't play one of God's commands against another and conclude that you must steal because you have to obey your parents.
