I love two girls, but I don’t know who I should marry
Question:
Please help me.
I am in my early twenties. I have been in a relationship for three years, but we did not have sex. Later when I moved away from the girl for my higher studies. I fell in love with another girl, who is not a Christian. I did not break up with the first one. For one year I was with her and we committed fornication. That whole year I was away from God and was totally out of the Christian life that I was leading in the beginning. Later I realized she was pregnant and I feared for my reputation. We decided to go for an abortion.
Later all this was told to my first girlfriend. I realized my mistake and was planning to come back to Lord. My sins seem so much to me that I don't think God is going to forgive me. I repent for my mistakes daily in front of the Lord. I told both the girls that I am sorry.
- Will God forgive me?
- What should I do with these girls?
- Whom should I marry? (Both are still ready to accept me.)
Help me, please. I don't want to leave the Lord. I want to stay close to Lord, and I don't want to repeat this mistake. I need a solution. Please help me, please.
Answer:
All sins that are repented of are forgivable. See: Can I be forgiven of fornication? You need to radically change.
You need to decide who you want to marry and part of that decision will also be whether either girl will accept you. The biggest problem at the moment is that you seem to desire what is immediately available; thus, whichever girl you are currently with will seem to be the one you most want. To get your mind back to a more reasoned state, I want you to take a piece of paper and list out what are your goals in life. For example, you state you want to follow Christ, so that would be one of your goals.
Next, take two pieces of paper and draw a line down the middle. Use one paper for each girl. In one column write how this girl benefits you and can help you reach your goals. In the other column list out how she might hinder you from reaching your goals, or the characteristics she has that might be hard to get along with.
Hopefully, by the time you complete this project, you will have a clearer understanding of what you should do. From what you said, the second girl comes up short. Under her influence, you committed fornication, left the Lord, and had your child murdered. This doesn't strike me as a quality woman to be your wife.
