Would God punish someone with a life of singleness?
Question:
Do you think God would punish someone to a life of singleness? I know it’s a silly question, but sometimes I get intrusive thoughts that tell me that I’m bound to be single. These thoughts make me feel very sad and uncomfortable. After I got baptized I started having OCD thoughts because I was trying to be perfect and sinless which no one can be. I got over those thoughts but now that I’m contemplating my loneliness and desiring strongly to have a godly girlfriend to be my wife one day, I’m getting those thoughts again. For example, I’ll have unwanted thoughts that say I am destined to be single or that God will punish me for my sins by me having to be single in life. I desire a relationship with a godly lady very much and it’s not from a lack of effort. I do try to socialize with girls but I haven’t found one who is interested as I am in her. I pray about this often.
I appreciate your willingness to respond as you are the only one I have talked to about this.
Answer:
Finding someone to marry requires two people to come to the decision that they want to marry the other person. Sometimes it is difficult to find the right person. You have to be in the right place, at the right time, with the right person.
God is not against marriage -- He created it (Genesis 2:24). It is God who forms marriages (Matthew 19:4-6). Looking at this situation as a punishment is approaching the problem from the wrong direction. You are focusing on your imagined inadequacies instead of being open to finding someone who fits your particular personality and abilities. You see yourself as a victim instead of someone who hasn't yet found a good match.
Finding the right person means you have to broaden the number of people you know. It isn't just those who are your age and are looking to get married. Sometimes it is knowing someone who suggests another person he knows. Visit churches, join clubs, and get involved in activities you enjoy where other people are present.
In the meantime, learn to be content with who you are. Sure, you want a wife, but learn to enjoy being a single man while it is your current life.
