Why did God force me to live with autism when I don’t want it?


People say God does not force, but why did God force me to be alive? Even He saw my life before I was born, and God knew that I didn't want to be alive. Why was I born with autism? It is so hard to have autism. Why can't I be normal like other people? What you think would happen if I wasn't born with autism?

Is suicide a sin? The bible doesn't say anything about suicide being a sin, does it? If it does then why is it a sin? Is harming yourself a sin? If it is, then why? If Christians say harming yourself is a sin, then why do I see Christians drink pop? Pop leads to kidney infections and kidney stones. They're hurting themselves when drinking pop. What do you say about this?

Are you glad God made me? If I lived right where you're at right now, and you caught me hurting myself, would you stick me in a suicide hospital? If yes, then why?


That God doesn't force things to happen as He desires is clearly false. The world would not exist if God did not make it happen. But even on a personal scale, do you remember the story of the ten plagues. Those plagues forced Pharaoh to release the Israelites from slavery. As God once said, "Indeed I have spoken it; I will also bring it to pass. I have purposed it; I will also do it" (Isaiah 46:11). That is what is meant by God's sovereignty.

No one asks to be alive. And every person can list good and bad things about his life. The problem is that it is very easy to focus only on the bad things and forget that good things exist as well. I don't know why you were born with autism; just as I don't know why others were born blind, deaf, or with missing limbs. I know God is in control, but you and I don't have insight as to what God sees and plans. There are too many variables involved. I don't know what God sees that you can do with your life, and I can't begin to know what your life would have been like without autism.

One time the disciples came across a blind man and that generated a discussion: "Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, saying, 'Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?' Jesus answered, 'Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him'" (John 9:1-3). The disciples had assumed that handicaps must be because of sin. It might be true in a few cases, but Jesus said it wasn't true in this case. Unknown to the blind man and his parents, God had put him in a position where Jesus could use him to prove God's power.

I guess people could get wrapped up in sadness, saying that because they didn't have wealth, beauty, or tallness; therefore, they can't be happy. I feel sorry for such people because they are missing out on so much joy. "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:11-13). Contentment is choosing to be happy regardless of what happens to you in life.

I've known miserable people who have everything and happy people who have almost nothing. So what I'm saying is that you can decide to be miserable and blame it on your autism, or you can decide to be happy and work around your particular handicap. I hope you choose to be happy.

We haven't talked very long yet, but I can assure you that if I knew you were hurting yourself, I would do whatever I could to stop you. I hope it wouldn't be a case where you needed to go to the hospital. That is because I care about the people I talk to, and you especially are no exception. Of course, I'm glad God made you. I wouldn't have another young friend to talk with if you weren't here.

Someone asked me several years ago why suicide was a sin, rather than write it out again, I want you to read the answer: "Why is suicide a sin?"

Your comparison to pop is not a good one. Everyone who drinks soda pop does not get kidney infections or kidney stones. A few people might be susceptible to those things and because of that must avoid it, just as some people have diabetes and must closely control the sugars they consume. It would be wrong for a person who knows he has diabetes to go overboard on his sugar consumption because it would be harming himself, but it doesn't mean that everyone who eats a sweet dessert is harming himself.

But the general answer to the question of whether it is right to harm yourself, the answer is no. "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church" (Ephesians 5:29). Sometimes Satan fills a person's life with so many lies that they think for a time that they don't like themselves or their life, but those are lies. You are a good young man who wants to do right. I want you to enjoy your life.

“The World is Mine!”

by Dot Aaron

Today, upon a bus, I saw a lovely girl with golden hair.
I envied her, she seemed so gay; I wished I were as fair.
When suddenly she rose to leave,
I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg, and wore a crutch,
And as she passed – a smile.
O God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two legs, the world is mine!

And then I stopped to buy some sweets.
The lad who sold them had such charm
I talked with him – he seemed so glad –
If I were late ‘twould do no harm.
And as I left he said to me:
“I thank you. You’ve been so kind.
It’s nice to talk with folks like you.
You see,” he said, “I’m blind.”
O God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two eyes, the world is mine!

Later, walking down the street,
I saw a child with eyes of blue.
He stood and watched the others play
It seemed he knew not what to do.
I stopped a moment, then I said,
“Why don’t you join the others, dear?”
He looked ahead without a word,
And then I knew – he could not hear.
O God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two ears, the world is mine!

With legs to take me where I would go –
With eyes to see the sunset’s glow –
With ears to hear what I would know –
O God, forgive me when I whine.
I’m blest indeed, the world is mine!


I have been in a suicide hospital before, and it is horrible. It would be devastating if I went back. It is my life, I can do whatever I want with my life. Why not die sooner than later? I don't want any help from a suicide hospital. I refuse to let the hospital help me.


I would think that if you don't like such places, then you won't do the things that cause you to end up in such places. Harming yourself is neither good nor normal. You want to be normal; well, suicide is not normal. People understand this, whether you want to accept it or not. If you hurt yourself, you lose control over your life. People will help you, whether you want it or not.

However, you start off with a false position. Your life is not your own to do with as you please. It never has been.

"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's" (I Corinthians 6:19-20).

God made you and gave you your life. Now you are pouting in a corner like a spoiled child, complaining that you don't like the gift that God gave you. You claim that it isn't good enough.

God said, "Behold, all souls are Mine; The soul of the father As well as the soul of the son is Mine; The soul who sins shall die" (Ezekiel 18:4). Death won't take you out of God's hands. "For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord's" (Romans 14:7-8). Somehow you think of death as an end -- it isn't, it is the beginning of eternity. If you sin by murdering yourself, you will end up in a place far worse than any suicide hospital and there will be no getting out of that place. I care too much about you to see a fine young man throw away a perfectly good soul.

Who knows, in five years someone might figure out a way to help people with autism. Already things are much better than they were twenty-five years ago. But the only people with hope are those who are alive. "But for him who is joined to all the living there is hope, for a living dog is better than a dead lion" (Ecclesiastes 9:4).

Never forget that many love you: God foremost, your parents, even your brother though that might seem hard to imagine, and I least of all. My friend, I want you to stay and share life with me. There will be good and bad times, but life is an adventure to be enjoyed. Will you do me a favor and read: The Courage to Live?

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