Posts Tagged ‘raising children’
Should I go ahead and spank my son?
Question: How are you doing? I wrote to you about three years ago about our two sons. Well, now the oldest is 16 and just received his license. Our youngest son is 11. We had implemented spanking and following God’s word on the matter. After the first couple of years of talking and seeking your…
Read MoreWould Jesus spank a child?
Question: Do you honestly believe that Jesus would spank a child? Children are precious, wonderful human beings, and it is our duty to raise them lovingly. Reading through your question and answer sections concerning child-rearing and spanking, I was motivated to write to you. Your answers are usually wise and sometimes give sufficient answers to…
Read MoreCan I correspond with you regarding parenting issues?
Question: I had stumbled across your web site and just wanted to say how impressed I am with the site. It is very nice to see a site that follows the biblical principles and yet handles many of the tough contemporary issues that we are facing today. My hat’s off to you. I admire your…
Read MoreOur son started doing poorly in school
Question: I have a serious problem with my oldest son who is 17. My wife and I have raised him in church and he attends a Christian school. This past semester, he led us to believe he was doing all right in school. I received his report card and he has two failing grades. My…
Read MoreHow much sleep do teenagers need? I can’t seem to get mine to wake up in the morning
Question: I have heard varying studies on the amount of sleep that kids, and even adults, need to function in the day. My two remaining children are not morning people unless there is something they really want to do! I really think they may need more sleep. In contemplating how to make this year go…
Read MoreI think I’m being too controlling
Question: My being too controlling on the kids is generally directed toward my eldest. He is a great child: very respectful, wins awards for citizenship, and all the teachers adore him and praise him. My problem is I snap at him for anything. Instead of being able to let it roll off, I have to…
Read MoreWhat do we do about a son who failed his college classes and lied to hide the fact?
Question: I am writing for advice on my son who is 18. He went away to college which my wife and I help pay for, in addition to a scholarship he obtained at the Christian college. He finished up this semester but failed two classes. He has a chance to earn the credits back if…
Read MoreHow do I punish a child who is now bigger than me?
Question: I have been struggling with the issue of discipline with our older two children. Traditionally, in our family, when a child reaches age twelve it is generally assumed that they are too old to be spanked and other punishments, such as grounding, are used. Our son is sixteen and beginning to show tremendous disrespect.…
Read MoreHow do I appropriately discipline my sons?
Question: First, let me say that I’m glad I found your site and I appreciate your parenting advice. I am a widower with two teenage sons – 17 going on 18 and 14 going on 15. I’ve to come to the point where I need to make some decisions about discipline in our household and…
Read MoreWhen should a teenager start buying his own toiletries?
Question: When should a teenager start buying his own toiletries? Answer: When a teenager has cosmetics, soaps, shampoos, shaving cream, etc. that he wants of a specific brand and desires to use exclusively, then it is time to start purchasing them on his own. For example, if he uses the same shampoo that most of…
Read MoreI have a teenager who would sleep in bed all day if I let him
Question: I have a sixteen-year-old boy who would just about spend all day in bed if I let him. He claims he needs twelve to fifteen hours of sleep each day, but I think something else is going on. Any advice? Answer: During a child’s growth spurt, their bodies do need more sleep, but typically…
Read MoreWhen is a child old enough to explain concepts like rape that appear in a story?
Question: I have a 10-year-old son who is being homeschooled. He is in a Medieval, Reformation, and Renaissance unit and will be reading a version of The Canterbury Tales that has been translated into modern English by Barbara Cohen. In this book, specifically in “The Wife of Bath’s Tale” there is a knight who rapes…
Read MoreWhat should be the punishment for breaking a window accidentally?
Question: I have two twin boys, both aged 15. My wife and I both agree that the right way to parent is to spank when necessary with the rod. Recently they have been getting into a lot of trouble together, and yesterday they broke a window (whilst playing ball inside — forbidden in the house…
Read MoreMy daughter is moody and depressed
Question: I am in desperate need of information to help my teenage daughter. She is struggling with self-esteem issues and the like — all of your normal teenage troubles. Now she is showing some signs of depression. She is 13. I have just spent the last two hours talking with her, and I thought it…
Read MoreShould we tell our children not to mention to other people that they get spanked?
Question: I have greatly enjoyed all the information and insights that you share on this page. My husband and I are raising three sons. We use spanking as one of our disciplinary tools with the boys, especially for the 3 Ds – deliberate disobedience, disrespect, and dishonesty. Recently one of my sons was in some…
Read MoreMy 11-year-old son is becoming overly dramatic and moody
Question: I am emailing you because you always have great advice for so many situations. I am having a hard time with my 11-year-old son. I am beginning to contemplate sending him to public school. Last year was the worst year we have had. I am fearing this year is going to be just as…
Read MoreOur nine-year-old is seeking boys’ attention by letting her underwear show
Question: We are a dresses-only family. My daughter is (deliberately?) not careful when running and playing and her underwear is showing. She has lost some of her treasured outfits. We raise her to dress very modestly. Last time she was on the swings during a church picnic seeking the boys’ attention. Other parents noticed. I’m…
Read MoreThings are improving in our home, but it is going so slowly!
Question: Thank you! Our home is slowly changing from a battle zone to a loving home. We still struggle, basically, since our 9-year-old acts like a 3 to 5-year-old, then I think she should have 3 to 5-year-old freedoms and choices. These will be earned back as she learns self-control and respect. I’m really needing…
Read MoreShould I force my 14-year-old son to work even if he doesn’t feel comfortable?
Question: Should I force my 14-year-old son to work even if he doesn’t feel comfortable? Answer: Oh, the poor thing! It is so hard to be motivated when you don’t feel like working, isn’t it? Why don’t you set him a great example: when the alarm clock rings tomorrow morning, instead of dragging yourself out…
Read MoreShould spankings only be done on the bottom?
Question: We have three boys 8,10 and 12. Of late they have become very defiant. We have read your web site and decided to spank. While being spanked they kick their legs and refuse to stay still. Should we swat them on the back of the legs to stop this, or is the bottom the…
Read MoreMy son continues to backtalk us and punches his younger brother
Question: I just wanted to say thanks for contending for the faith, in relation to the person who wrote you against the Bible. I need further help with my son, who is 14. My wife and I have set the punishment for disobedience for both our sons. In addition to moving along if there are…
Read MoreI discovered one of my stepsons is looking at pornography
Question: I recently discovered that at least one of my stepsons had downloaded pornography on their computer, which is in their shared bedroom. The fourteen-year-old seems to be the guilty culprit, but he won’t own up. The twelve-year-old says it wasn’t him, and I believe him. The law says I’m within my right to beat…
Read MoreMy fifteen-year-old lies so she can do what she wants
Question: My 15-year-old lies to me. I believe she does so in order to do what she wants. She shows a deliberate disrespectful presence. I have set boundaries for Internet usage and she has violated that boundary by talking to people she does not know, lying, and telling me they go to school with her.…
Read MoreWe are constantly having to nag our daughter to get her chores done
Question: I have a nine-year-old who is developing an attitude that we are always nagging and she can’t do what she wants. Every time I ask her to do a chore she says yes, I go away, come back later and it won’t be done. This can happen three or four times before she gets…
Read MoreI’m embarrassed that I spanked my daughter for skipping classes
Question: I am a recently separated mom of three children ages 13, 10 and 8. The older two are girls. My thirteen-year-old really started to act up this school year, only a few months after her father and I separated. She was caught skipping classes twice earlier in the school year. I had to take…
Read MoreWhat is the proper punishment for mishandling funds and lying?
Question: Hello, I am 19 and a sophomore in college, but I still live at home. I have always strived to be a godly person and a hard worker. I was valedictorian of my high school class and captain of two sports teams and earned a college scholarship. I always try to do the “right”…
Read MoreDisciplining Children
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Hebrews 12:4-13 I. It appears that at least some people realize that modern child-rearing philosophies don’t work. From our website people are continually looking for answers to questions, such as A. What kind of consequence or punishment should you give a child who lies, steals, is rebellious, is disobedient, is using…
Read MoreIs this spanking normal?
Question: This afternoon I was at my girlfriend’s house, and she has a 7-year-old son. He was not putting his toys away after he was done playing with them. My friend Gina asked him to please put his toys away, and he said “no” and back talked her. She grabbed him by the arm, told…
Read MoreShould I give my seven-year-old a spanking for getting an F on his report card?
Question: Yesterday my seven-year-old son came home from school with an F, on his report card. I told him the last time if he gets another F, I was going to get a spanking. Is that the right thing to do? Answer: When I received this note (what you are seeing is a severely edited…
Read MoreHow do you deal with an overactive six-year-old?
Question: I think for Christians, we must be careful not to depend on things of the world to do for us what we have been given the ability by God to do. And yet we must sometimes depend on others and other things to aid us in living our life to glorify Him. Even Timothy…
Read MoreHow do you gauge how many swats to give in a spanking?
Question: How do I gauge when my son has been given enough swats — I have found as he gets older that he tries to “macho” through a spanking and it has become harder to tell when he has been chastised sufficiently without crossing the line into abuse. Answer: A parent should look at the discipline…
Read MoreHow do I punish my teenage son for lying about his grades?
Question: I have a serious problem with my oldest son who is 17. My wife and I have raised him in church, and he attends a Christian school. This past semester, he led us to believe he was doing all right in school. I received his report card and he has two failing grades. My…
Read MoreWho Would You Blame?
by Dudley Ross Spears Read this little bit of fiction (or is it?) When he was a baby, they were so proud to take him to worship. Everyone “oohed and aahed” and played “kitcky-koo.” They never missed a service at church. As a little boy, they taught him to behave during worship. They helped him regularly…
Read MoreWhat Do You Mean By Chasten?
by Gary Colley Jesus dictated these words to the apostle John for the church in Laodicea: “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten” (Revelation 3:19). After this Bible reference appeared on a sign in the front of a church building, a phone call was received from a somewhat irate woman inquiring as to…
Read MoreUnwanted Children
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton It seems strange, but I’ve started writing this article numerous times. Each time I’ve tossed it because I found myself unable to express exactly what was going through my mind. Many years ago I realized that our country contains a lot of unwanted children. The circumstances which lead to the situation…
Read MoreHow should I handle out-of-control teenage boys?
Question: First, let me apologize for not giving you enough details upon which to base a recommended course of action. Actually, the answer you gave, even without specifics, makes good sense: go after the most serious problems first and then move down the line, without dropping the ball on the first set of issues. I think…
Read MoreShould I spank my stepsons?
Question: I have just married a wonderful woman with two teenage boys who are out of control. They have not been spanked in years and I think it is time to re-institute that form of discipline into their life; at least until their behavior improves. My wife agrees to abide by your decision and recommendations,…
Read MoreTo Be a Parent
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton I ran across an article recently that makes a point that every parent should consider. Too many parents are abdicating their responsibility to raise their children, especially when they reach their teenage years. “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and…
Read MoreThat You May Teach Your Children
by Dene Ward Someone recently asked me what I thought a kindergarten-aged child should know about the Bible. All I can tell you is from my own experience. I believe they should know about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit—and that all of those beings love him no matter what. They should know every major…
Read MoreTeach Your Child the Fear of the Lord
by Forrest D. Moyer, 1989 When Paul had listed all the sins of the Gentiles and of the Jews and was summing up his argument as to why all need the gospel, he told us why there is so much sin in the world in these succinct words: “There is no fear of God before…
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