Should we have lied about my daughter’s depression?
Question:
Is it ever OK to lie? My daughter was disqualified from entering a military group at her college due to behavioral health. She spent days there due to depression. We filled out the medical forms and answered questions honestly for her college. Now my family is upset because they said she needed to play the system and lie about her depression and hospitalization. I'm torn because now my daughter is upset. She will have to be a civilian student at her college. We bought military gear and everything for her but now it seems derailed. I don't even know how housing and financial aid will be affected. What should I tell my daughter to comfort her? Should we have lied? I know we did the right thing, but I feel so upset right now for her.
Thanks.
Answer:
There is never a reason to lie. "But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death" (Revelation 21:8). God is righteous and lying is the absence of truth. God cannot lie (Titus 1:2) and as followers of God, we cannot either.
Look at it this way: There is a reason why this group will not accept people who have problems with depression. I'm sure it is not an arbitrary rule. Likely there are some really stressful things involved that will trigger depression in people, so they are trying to avoid future problems and disappointments.
I'm sorry that she didn't make it. I know people who didn't make it because they couldn't run fast enough or weighed too much. This is just another reason. Yes, it is very disappointing, but life goes on and you find joy in what you are able to do. So return the gear, start figuring out how college will be paid for, and then look at option number two on her list of dream jobs.
Response:
Thank you. That makes a lot of sense.
I'm sure everything will be fine as a civilian student. Thank you for putting it in perspective. Life goes on! God's plan is always better in the long run. Even though it feels awful at the moment, we know His plans won't hurt us but help us.
