Should we confess our fornication?


Good day sir.

By God's grace, we are a couple who decided to get married. Our church's marriage committee has some rules that intending couples need to follow before marriage. We have known each other since last year but things got serious towards marriage beginning to this year. We were able to abstain from each other until last month. We committed fornication! Before that, we used to play at romance but finally committed fornication. It has really been tough for me especially. I even told my fiance that we need to go see our committee to confess our sin to them. On the other hand, I feel since we sinned that they will halt our marriage process which is ongoing. We have yet to start counseling anyways. We have prayed for forgiveness, and I know God has forgiven us, but I still feel we need to go to them and confess our sins.

What do we do sir? Please help us.


The Bible doesn't speak of "marriage committees," nor does it require that weddings take place in churches. These are rules people have imposed (Matthew 15:1-9). If a church decides that only virgin couples can get married at their place of worship, then that is their decision. It doesn't mean you can't get married. It only means you have to seek out an alternative because you sinned.

What you and your boyfriend did was not to listen to God's warnings. You figured that as long as intercourse did not take place, you were "safe." But in your "romancing" you broke God's laws against sensuality and lust (Romans 13:13-14). You engaged in sexual touching (I Corinthians 7:1). In other words, you have been heading toward fornication for quite a while, so it isn't surprising that you reached the result of your prior misbehaviors.

Thus, there is no profit is hiding the fact that you two sinned. What I would urge instead is that you get married. "But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:9).

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