Should I tell my boyfriend that I’ve had sex with my cousin?
Question:
Hello,
I need help. I am a young lady. I have a good obedient boyfriend. He is loyal, faithful, and respects me. We have dated for five years now. He has not asked me for sex, for which I am proud of him. The problem now is that my cousin lives with me at my parents' house. He and I have fallen for each other and we ended up fornicating. He broke my virginity countless times. Whenever I tell him to stop he says he will die if I leave him. I am so mad with myself for cheating on my boyfriend and for sinning. Should I tell my boyfriend? I feel disgusted that I can't even pray. Will God ever forgive me?
Please help.
Answer:
Notice that the things you admire about your boyfriend are all things that you are not. Nowhere in your note do you indicate that you've put an end to sexual acts you are doing with your cousin. Instead, you pretend that these sexual acts are because you love your cousin.
Your boyfriend needs to know what you have been doing because he currently thinks he is dating someone like himself. He needs to decide whether he is willing to risk marrying a woman who is not faithful to him.
In regards to God, forgiveness requires that you first repent of your sins (II Corinthians 7:10-11). Repentance is not sorrow. Repentance is both a change in behavior and a change in attitude toward sin. In this case, repentance is refusing to have sex until after you get married; whether it is to your cousin, your current boyfriend, or someone else. Repentance is not justifying what you have done but admitting just how wrong it was in God's sight.
Question:
Thank you. I have repented. I want to walk with Christ. How should I go about it?
Answer:
First, make sure you are truly a Christian as defined in the Bible. See How to Become a Christian. Second, talk to your boyfriend and let him know that you are not a virgin, that you regret your sin, and that you have changed.
