Should I marry my atheist boyfriend?
Question:
I was with this guy for over a year. We were friends and then started having sex and dating. He is an atheist. I am not. We broke up a month ago but still talk online a lot. We are still friends. He still claims he loves and still talks about wanting to be with me. I know a lot of it is sexual things that he wants.
I decided to repent of my sins, and I went and got baptized last night. First time I have ever been baptized but not the first time I ever repented or asked God into my heart.
He is an atheist and is always saying God or the devil doesn't exist. He says there is no hell. That it was just made up to scare people into believing. And that there is no evidence of a God. He said he used to believe until a few years ago, but that even when he believed he never wanted to be baptized and that it was not necessary. I told him that he could always change his mind and he said no way. He said all he would do is mock it, so what would be the reason for that? He often says stuff like adults with imaginary friends worry him. He purposely mispronounces Jesus, God, and the Bible, and says none of them should ever be capitalized. He claims he got saved a couple of times when he was 21 and younger. Says he is glad he never got baptized because of how he feels about it now. He says even when he was saved and believed he still liked saying curse words. He uses those a lot, even when I told him I hate them. He believes in science and evolution and all that since h says he did a lot of research and found that Jesus didn't exist or walk the earth.
He talked about us getting married before and, besides him being an atheist, we got along great. He can't have kids so that would never be a problem about how to raise them. Yes, I did love him a lot. I do miss him a lot at times. I mean other than this we laughed and enjoyed each other's company and got along. But if we got to talking about any of this it would almost end in an argument, so I just stopped talking about it. But when he says something negative about it, it hurts me.
So even if we got married it wouldn't be a sexual sin anymore but would it still be a sin to marry someone like that? I haven't sinned with him in over a month. And just got baptized as I said. I have no desire to return to sexual sin with him even though I do miss him and we still talk online daily as friends. When I showed him the pictures of me getting baptized he said they were sexy, and he bet I was sexy all wet. That just seemed like the wrong thing to say about baptism pictures. He always says I'm sexy but to say that about baptism pictures seemed weird. I know the only way we could ever be together again is if we were to get married so that I wouldn't sin sexually, but it still would probably be a sin to marry the guy right?
I really would prefer someone I could share and grow with spiritually. I've never had a relationship like that. It just breaks my heart that I had to let go of someone I loved. He says he believed until a few years ago. He said he doesn't believe and he said besides once saved always saved, so he's good. Should I not try to talk to him about any of it anymore? Should we still be friends online but not hang out?
A few days after we broke up he joined some site that is for hooking up and has naked women on it. He says his favorite things are sex and music. He plays and loves watching shows that curse a lot too. He says he would never cheat, but he has cheated online before by flirting and talking sexy and when he was married he sent a few ladies a masturbation vid and got nude pics sent to him. He claimed he has lied about a few things do with his past and about that chatting thing, then came clean later. These were women he knew not strangers. His wife passed away, though, and after that, he claimed how much he loved her, so I don't know. But I know he lied to me about things and did something similar online in the past. But all of it is a long story and this is long already, so I'd better close it.
I just need advice bad -- godly advice.
Answer:
Some things are sinful and other things are just plain foolish. "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals" " (I Corinthians 15:33). If you married this man, it would be a constant struggle to maintain your faith, let alone grow in your faith. He would be constantly undermining your beliefs and pushing you to become more like him.
In addition, you make it clear that he is not faithful. Since he rejects moral standards, why would you expect him to live a moral life? What would stop him from lying and cheating?
"Once saved, always saved" is not a teaching in the Bible. Even if he did obey God (which he didn't), his utter rejection of God means he cannot reach heaven. "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him" (Hebrews 11:6).
Your former boyfriend is what the Bible calls a scoffer or mocker. He never believes anything that doesn't match what he currently accepts. He makes fun of anything that is different because he thinks it is inferior. In other words, what motivates him is his personal pride. Staying with such a man would mean a life of constant arguments. "Cast out the scoffer, and contention will leave; yes, strife and reproach will cease" (Proverbs 22:10).
Yes, the man wants you back in his bed, but that isn't the foundation of a good marriage. You are looking for a lifetime companion, not a good romp in bed. You need to let him go so you can move on in finding a good husband.
