Should I give up going to church because I keep committing fornication?
Question:
Hey,
I’m a Christian and go to a Pentecostal church but I seem to always fall into a deep sin of fornication, I end up having sex with my girlfriend. Me and her, we know we’re not supposed to but end up doing it. We’ve tried many ways to minimize ways it could erupt, but we always find ourselves sinning. I love her a lot and I’m trying my best to do better. But I feel like God won’t bless me anymore and overall not forgive me after repeating this sin multiple times and even after reconciling many times already. Am I just a lost cause? Can God get me out of this mess and bless me and help me and take me out of my sinful ways? What should I do? I feel like I can’t take it anymore and should give up going to church if I sin so much.
Please help me.
Answer:
I would encourage you to find a church that follows the teachings of God instead of emotional highs. See We Are Simply Christians Without Being Members of Any Denomination. You Can Be Too!
Jesus warned, "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me" (Matthew 10:37-38). If such goes for close family, I believe it also is true for someone you are dating. This doesn't mean you have to stop dating your girlfriend. It means that following Jesus has to be far more important to you than being able to have sex.
I suspect that the core problem is that you are trying to live in the world and live for Christ at the same time. Such never works. "No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth" (Luke 16:13). The same is true of sex.
If we were to sit down and talk, I suspect that if I asked, you would tell me that most of the times you two together revolve around stirring up and satisfying your sexual desires. You've stopped dating each other and are more involved in entertaining each other. Sure, sex is fun, but you can't build a lasting marriage on just sex.
Notice that while you agree that fornication is wrong, you are seeking to resolve the guilt you feel by avoiding the truth -- "I'll just not go to church and then I don't have to remember that I'm heading to hell." That doesn't change the facts and it won't solve the problem.
Thus, I have a simple question: Why don't the two of you just go down to the courthouse and get married? "But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:9).
