Problems with dating and job search
Question:
Hi,
Well, thanks for all the information on dating and marriage you sent to me a couple of weeks ago. Sadly, I won't need it anymore. My girlfriend and I broke up. Not by my choice, but her parents, family and all disapproved of me because I was jobless and haven't had luck getting a job since I have known her. I have applied many places, have gotten interviews, but just haven't been lucky enough to get a job. (Probably because I am honest when they ask me questions and I just can't lie.) But then again, I would pray and ask God that if this is the job where He wants me, then let it happen, and if not, then don't. So a lot of times you get what you ask for. 🙂 It is not that I don't like to work. I am 22 and I have held a job for three years straight until there wasn't enough work left and it was either I go or my boss, and well, of course, I got let go.
I just would like prayers for my ex-girlfriend that God helps her in her path and that her family treats her a little better so she can feel more secure about things in her life. I'm not mad or resentful. I'm just sad that I lost someone that I was so close to, trusted a lot, and spent hours in prayer to God about to make sure I was doing the right thing by being her boyfriend. When I do date, I date because I eventually want to marry the person. We didn't do anything bad together. The most physical we got was my arm around her. Our spiritual lives were great. We prayed, did Bible study, helped out the homeless together, etc.
But maybe it's the way God wanted it or it wasn't, but I just ask that you pray for me for strength, and not to get depressed or feel sorry for myself. I hope that I can use this singleness time, for however long God wants it to happen, to just serve Him and not do other things which are not His will because I feel distracted a lot since we broke up. It's been hard to concentrate on God. I have had my cousins teach the last two times at my small group because I wasn't in the right frame of mind. So I just ask that God will set my heart right again and that my mind can get back on track and do more work for Him. I'm just asking for prayers for that and to tell you again thanks for the advice you have always given and for being kind and nice every time we talk and for being patient with me. 🙂
Answer:
I'm really sorry to hear about your troubles. I would say that you're too nice of a guy to have this happen to, but then there was Job ...
In regards to your job search, I would not blame honesty on your difficulty in landing a job. Even in today's world, people value honesty in an employee. Neither you nor I would want you to compromise your position. I'm not saying you're doing what I'm about to mention, but I want to cover all ground. Some people, in the name of being honest, forget about tact. "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one" (Colossians 4:6). Two people can say basically the same thing and one will annoy and another will be accepted. Have you ever read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People"? As old as it is, it is still a great book with wonderful advice.
Also, consider widening your horizons. When looking for a job, people tend to limit themselves to certain job categories or job locations. It may be that jobs are just hard to come by in your area, so look farther afield. It might mean getting out of your comfort zone, but that in itself can be a learning experience for you.
I'm glad you were able to restrain yourself with your ex-girlfriend. Can you imagine what your heartache would have been like if sex was involved, or worse, a baby on the way? I get way too many questions from people in that situation.
You will definitely be in my prayers and let me know how things go.
