My husband left me and I’m barely making my income last each month. Is it wrong if I don’t give as much?
Question:
Dear Brother in Christ:
I cannot first say how thankful to God I am for blessing you with the spiritual wisdom and knowledge to provide biblical answers for our questions, and for rightly dividing the word of truth.
First, I am a member of the body of Christ, and I am recently separated (not legally) from my husband, who is not a U.S. citizen. We have a 6-month-old child whom I support alone on my veteran's compensation.
My husband has been very cruel to me and my family. He has not seen our son at all. He lives in another state. My husband and I had our past spats, but he recently hired an attorney to send me a cease and desist letter as well as to tell the sheriff in his state to tell me not to call him anymore. I was shocked he had done this because he never told me to stop contacting him. I never harassed him or anything!
I admit to being angry with him due to a prior argument. I feel justified in my anger. He abandoned me and our son. He has not provided anything for us at all, nor does he at this time. Since he involved the lawyer and sheriff, I haven't tried to contact him and vice versa. He wants nothing to do with us. He was not there for our son's birth. I purchased everything -- all baby supplies on my own. Had it not been for God blessing me with a Veteran's compensation, my baby and I would be pitiful.
I thought that was really cruel on my husband's part to treat us this way. So now our son and I are alone and I am using my military disability to provide for us. That is all we have. My questions are:
- What rights, if any, according to God's word, would I have for remarrying if God sends me a new husband?
- Sometimes, my monthly compensation check runs dry before the next month's check. I always give my portion. Since my husband has abandoned us, I sometimes end up using some or all of that money for our baby's food, clothes, or other needs. According to the Scriptures, am I offending God's commandments on giving? If so, I will gladly repent.
Thank you so much and I pray for your continued great work for God!
Answer:
Clearly, your husband is in the process of divorcing you. It appears that he is making up a case of harassment as the grounds for his divorce; thus, he is creating supporting evidence by taking out injunctions against you.
Since the divorce apparently has nothing to do with adultery, neither of you would have a right to a second marriage by God's laws (Matthew 19:9). However, I wouldn't be surprised if you learn that he has been committing adultery since he left you and that adultery is what is really behind his divorce proceedings.
God said, "On the first day of the week let each one of you lay something aside, storing up as he may prosper, that there be no collections when I come" (I Corinthians 16:2). God does not ask you to give what you do not have. Giving is based on your prosperity. Right now you are not prospering.
One thing you should do is contact your state's agency for child support. Because he is the father, he owes support for the child. The state can garnish his wages to see that he pays the support he owes.
Response:
Thank you so much for your response, Mr. Hamilton!
It has been so stressful dealing with him and on top of me caring for the baby alone. If it were not for God helping us, things would get out of hand and I would possibly be in jail. But again, thank you for the references to the Scriptures you gave.
I must admit, he was not a kind man before I married him but we never dated but hurried to marry, as I was in my thirties and did not want to 'shack up' or lie with any man before marriage. So we went to Vegas. We got married. He drank. He gambled. He smoked. He cursed. I immediately regretted what I had done. And yet, I, as a Christian (baptized as a teenager into the church), foolishly yoked myself with him, thinking it would be okay. He is a non-believer. So these are consequences of my 'thinking' and not 'listening' to God. But I know with His help, I can live in celibacy. This is what I am doing now, as I have no interest in meeting or looking at this time since I will now listen to your advice (which is from God) and the other true bearers of God's word.
Thank you so much and if I might request your prayers for my son and me. I want to bring him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Lastly, I will take your advice on the child support route. It is ridiculous my husband has done nothing for our son.
Thank you for answering both my questions so promptly and truthfully. Blessings to you always!
