My husband cheated and I cheated. I lived with a man for years before the divorce was final. We eventually married, but did I have the right to marry again?

Question:

As I read through some of your posts on adultery, one comes strongly out to me. I will explain my situation:

I married a man. I didn't talk to God or parents before it and we were kids, even as adults we were kids. Then we had a kid. He cheated, I cheated. We divorced. I remarried. I lived with my current husband for years before the divorce was final and we married six months after the divorce.

Since there was adultery in my previous marriage was the divorce legal from God's laws? And since there was adultery there, is my current marriage legal? Or is this also adultery? Even though we married to keep from committing adultery?

Answer:

You didn't marry the second time to keep from committing adultery. You were living in adultery for years.

I can't answer your question because you made such a tangled mess of your life. I suppose that if I asked your ex-husband why he divorced you, he would likely say that the marriage wasn't working out because you were committing adultery. Meanwhile, you are making the same charge about him.

The law Jesus laid down in Matthew 19:9 assumes that only one party was involved in destroying the marriage. The exception allowing remarriage doesn't match a situation where both the husband and wife are actively committing adultery. Since Jesus said, "So He said to them, 'Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery'" (Mark 10:11-12), in cases where both the husband and wife are committing adultery, I must conclude that neither have the right to marry anyone else.

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