My boyfriend has been pushing for things to go further, I resisted for a while, but recently I caved
Question:
Hi,
I want to ask for advice and for you to share the word of God with me.
I am a sinner and I am repented of my rebellious ways. I have committed fornication with my first and current boyfriend. I have been a Christian for two years and was a Catholic since my parents took me to church when I was little. Before I was a Christian I believed and trusted in God's love but didn't know about His wonderful gifts. The faith I had wasn't very strong and it weakened when my parents divorced. I fell into depression and had no motivation in my life when I was 16.
Sorry if I write a lot because I want to describe everything from my life that has affected me and made me know Jesus in my life, but I really want to share my testimony for my situation to be more relevant to what I'm going through.
When I was 16, my parents got divorced because my dad cheated on my mom for the second time. When I found out I felt like everything in my life was wrong. It was as if what I had known wasn't true and betrayed by my own dad. It was a really difficult time to know my family was broken by my parents' constant fighting. Instead of seeking God for strength and faith in Him to guide my family to be more united, I started drawing away from Him without recognizing His love. I got away from Him by not trusting and sometimes doubting His truth. Jesus showed me he is my Savior, and I now as a Christian I repented and confessed the sins I made before. I have given my life to Jesus! His love is all I need. Since two years ago, I have known him like never before. My mom and two brothers aren't Christians. I want to share Jesus' love with them. I know they have seen a change within me, but my mom and two brothers don't go with me to church. I want to be able to know Jesus as their Savior and be able to share Jesus' word with them, but I haven't been faithful to Jesus and avoided talking to my family about what God has changed and blessed me in my new life with Jesus! I doubt sometimes myself about not being a real Christian for not even sharing what God blessed me and blesses me every day. My mom believes in Jesus. I know she has a lot of faith in God but maybe hasn't been really going to church with me because she can't because she works a lot. I hope Jesus gives me the strength to give my testimony to my family and bring them closer to Jesus!
I have a Christian boyfriend and we have dated for six months. Our relationship had been going well the first three months, but since then it started falling because my boyfriend started pressuring me to have more physical affection. I didn't like it because since I was a Catholic I believed being abstinent before marriage is what God wants for a married couple in love in order to have the wonderful gift of love and also to be pure until you are married. I was aware my boyfriend was being too pushy in wanting me to give in. He was trying to kiss more passionately after three months. I suddenly also fell into the trap of thinking I could control my feelings from going more farther than kissing. When I let him kiss me that way, I started to let myself feel aroused by kissing him more. One time he started touching my body. I felt bad and told him to stop. He told me to trust him and he persuaded me. I actually let him touch me and masturbate me. We haven't gone farther or made love, but I no longer consider myself pure.
I am repenting of my sins and want to turn back to Jesus' way and be in peace again with God! I am a sinner and love Jesus. I want to start over. I need advice on how I should be again more faithful with Jesus. I am confused about what I should do with my boyfriend. Can we be together if we repent with the Lord and ask him for forgiveness? Can we now be together purely and only with God's help to heal our hearts, soul, and walk faithfully with the Holy Spirit guiding us in making the right choices and not fall again in the bad steps we have taken?
I need to pray about this. I will be so glad if someone could also pray for us. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my testimony. God bless you!
Answer:
"What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?" (Romans 6:1-2).
"Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts" (Romans 13:13-14).
While you assume your boyfriend is just as devastated over your sins as you are, you really have not indicated that he is sorry about what he did or that he is, on his own, determined to change. As soon as he started misbehaving by touching you in a sexual manner, you should have left and then ended the friendship. He claims to be a Christian, but he broke the command, "Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman" (I Corinthians 7:1). Further, when you protested he insisted that you trust him while engaged in lewd behavior. It hasn't been just once. He's been pressuring you for sex for over three months. Does this really sound like a young man who has God first in his life?
Unless he seriously changes, you need to seriously consider the fact that it will only be a matter of time before things go further than they did last time.
If you both are serious enough to make rules, such as never being alone with each other, not going into each other's bedroom, not touching private areas of the body, etc.; then perhaps you can turn this relationship around.
Response:
Thank you so much for the word of God you have shared with me. It's been four days and we have not done anything against the commandments of Christ, but it's been because we haven't been alone again. I haven't spoken to him about this because there hasn't been a time to talk about this, but I will and I know in my heart I need to tell him everything that we need to change. If he does repent and wants to change everything around, we will still be together. If not, I will be strong for God and end the relationship because I know all I need is God's love. If he doesn't feel the same, I will ask the Lord to give me the strength to resist any evil that may harm my relationship with Jesus or make me turn away from him!
Thank you so much! What you have shared with me has really opened my eyes.
