Is it wrong to share a place with a person of the opposite sex?
Question:
Hello Jeffrey,
I’m always so thankful to have you answering my questions biblically! Here soon I’m thinking about moving to another state. I am in need of some change. I don’t have a whole lot of money. There is a person who has offered to let me stay with him and split the bills. I have never been in a relationship with this man, and there is nothing sexual between us. I work 60 hours a week and I plan to when or if I move. We will probably even have different schedules. He knows my beliefs and that I’m a Christian. Am I wrong for even considering this? I shine my light everywhere I go and let people know I’m a Christian. I'm excited to move and start another life, but I don’t want to be wrong.
Answer:
I suspect that you are being blinded by the saving of money and are not considering everything.
Trust
I don't know how well you know the guy, but sharing a living space with anyone requires trust in regard to possessions and personal safety. While you have no sexual feelings for the guy, are you certain that he won't develop feelings for you? Prudence is the ability to look ahead and see what might cause problems in the future. "The prudent sees the evil and hides himself, but the naive go on, and are punished for it" (Proverbs 22:3).
Reputation
People are going to know that you share space with a man. What would be a natural conclusion? How is that going to impact your ability to teach others about Christ when they may assume (wrongly or rightly) that you are violating Christ's laws against fornication? "In all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us" (Titus 2:7-8).
Influence
While you are determined that nothing wrong will happen, there are younger people who see what you are doing and will be inclined to imitate you. However, they are likely not to be as careful or discerning. "Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe" (I Timothy 4:12).
If you want to move, find a good church and ask if some couple or older woman might have a room that you can rent for a few months or a year, while you get settled into the area. If you don't have much money, start out with a small hole-in-the-wall apartment in a safe neighborhood to rent until you can move up. If the area you want to move to is out of your price range, then find another area that is cheaper. It is important to always live within your means, as well as live as a reflection of Christ to others.
Response:
Thank you for all your help and for always answering my questions biblically.
