Is it appropriate for someone who doesn’t have the right to remarry to be dating?
Question:
I have a family member who is a Christian and has been unscripturally divorced for a long time. Recently she has been seeing someone who is also supposed to be a Christian and is unscripturally divorced. She claims they are just friends but has referred to their relationship as dating. You and I know the dangers of this, but is it wrong for them to continue this relationship if it is not a physical one? They are together all the time and even take trips together, but there is no proof of fornication. There are three things I’m concerned about:
- Is it wrong to have such a relationship with the opposite sex in their situation? Assuming it is not physical? I have always understood that if you aren’t divorced because of adultery then you are still married in God’s eyes. If you are still married you shouldn’t be dating another man even if you say you are “just friends”.
- I’m afraid this man is manipulating her and playing on her emotions to take advantage of her financially, I won’t go into all the reasons for me feeling this way, for my main concern is for her soul. Although I would like to talk to the other two women he married after he cheated on his first wife.
- If she continues this relationship should we withdraw? Not only for discipline but to have some peace in our lives? It is causing worry, stress and health issues with some because of this being in their face every day.
Answer:
The primary purpose of dating is to find a prospective spouse, so you are correct that to call this dating would inappropriate. Neither one is in the position to get married. Yet many in the world call "dating" going out together for entertainment and that appears to be what they are doing.
The problem is that while there are warning signs, you have nothing that actually says anything is sinful. It is inappropriate to charge someone with sin without good reason. There is a reason it is emphasized multiple times that there need to be two or three witnesses to establish the truth. You don't even have one -- only possibilities.
