I'm truly scared about this, but I thought I would give it a go. I'm 15 years old and I've done stuff most adults haven't dreamed of doing, such as smoking weed, giving hand jobs, and receiving masturbation. The problem is anytime I try to change and move forward something pulls me back. It's either thoughts of not being worthy enough or the thought of whether is He really here. I really want to come to God for help, but I'm too impure. I need guidance. I need help, but I feel like I can't turn to anyone because they will judge me. I just need help, and I'm willing to do anything to become a follower of the Lord.
When a person doesn't want to change, there are endless excuses as to why they believe change is not possible. For example, Asaph noted three thousand years ago that the wicked will say, "How does God know? And is there knowledge with the Most High?" (Psalms 73:11). In other words, the wicked conclude that because they did not get zapped for sinning that God isn't aware of their sins or doesn't care that they are sinning. Asaph goes on to conclude that they will eventually find out the hard way that God does care (Psalms 73:15-20).
However, if a person is willing to give up his sins, the answer is different. "For thus says the high and exalted One Who lives forever, whose name is Holy, "I dwell on a high and holy place, and also with the contrite and lowly of spirit in order to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite. For I will not contend forever, nor will I always be angry; for the spirit would grow faint before Me, and the breath of those whom I have made. Because of the iniquity of his unjust gain I was angry and struck him; I hid My face and was angry, and he went on turning away, in the way of his heart. I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will lead him and restore comfort to him and to his mourners, creating the praise of the lips. Peace, peace to him who is far and to him who is near," says the LORD, "and I will heal him. But the wicked are like the tossing sea, for it cannot be quiet, and its waters toss up refuse and mud. There is no peace," says my God, "for the wicked"" (Isaiah 57:15-21). God understands our weakness and is willing to forgive wrongs that are repented of. No one is worthy of salvation, that is why we speak of God's grace. Grace is a gift given when it is not deserved.
James scolds the early Christians for trying to hold on to the world and its sins. "You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: "He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us"? But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded" (James 4:4-8). As bad as our sins may be, God's grace is greater. No one is so sinful that God cannot save him.
But the key to forgiveness is to give up our sin. Satan doesn't want you to leave, so he whispers words of doubt that keeps you from making the necessary changes in your life. The reality of the situation is that the only person holding you back is yourself. You can do it and God will aid you beyond your expectations, but first, you have to work at changing.