I’m not certain if I want to marry my girlfriend, but she is pregnant and I’ve lost my job
Question:
I have been following your works via your website, and you are doing a wonderful job. God bless you.
Nevertheless, I need some guidance as I am confused about my next step. I am in my late twenties and seeing this girl, who is in her mid-twenties, from another country where I study. We have been dating for five years. I have been feeling uneasy about the relationship, but I kept on going. A few months ago, she told me she was pregnant, and I recently lost my job and can't cope in the country. I won't say she's all Christian, but she has been engaged in church activities and then stopped. Now I don't know how to tell my parents, whom I am meeting for the holidays. Would you suggest I marry her or co-parent? I want to take responsibility for my actions but am unsure about marriage. After discussions with my mum and dad for several years, they are in disagreement.
Please I need spiritual guidance. Thank you.
Answer:
Given what the apostle Paul stated in I Corinthians 6:9-10, neither of you are "all Christian" -- Christians are not to be involved in fornication. While you stated you were uneasy about the relationship, the unease didn't stop you from having sex with her, so what you are saying is that you've been using her for your personal gratification.
What I don't know is how much of this would have changed if you had not lost your job and are wanting to leave the country. I'm glad you are willing to own up to your responsibility for the consequences of your sin.
Whether you marry her has to be your decision. I won't make it for you. However, you are fully responsible for the child. What you have to tell your parents is that they are about to become grandparents and that their son allowed worldly desires to make a fool of him.
However, the most important thing you must do is change (II Corinthians 7:10-11). You cannot be a Christian and live like a heathen. No more sex until after marriage. And you need to God in prayer, apologizing to Him for your sins (I John 1:9).
